Why are some women so bitchy?

[whatisforteamum]

I can't reveal some comments I've heard regarding a much loved colleague.
But what makes someone comment on aging skin,hair, hair colors clothes.So long as the person is clean and smells fresh when they come to work.
Last time I checked I'm employed for my skills not appearance.I always wear clean clothes.
We are of an age that we have a lot of things to worry about.Why are some people obsessed with appearance wasting precious time commenting on others.(Unless it's to compliment them).

Yeah women are fucking arseholes.

Going on the internet, saying misogynistic things, calling women bitches.

Oh sorry, you didn’t mean that.

This sort of thing used to bother me to the point that it would keep me awake at night.

now I’m just grateful I’m not them

In my experience definitely at work.

https://www.scottishlegal.com/articles/faculty-ordered-to-pay-compensation-to-woman-following-poor-investigation-of-kc

Puts "oh she doesn't suit that dress at ALL" n context.

Mrsterrypratchet apologies for the word I can't think of another that sums up the toxic nature of these people.

I think they've often grown up hearing that kind of thing from the close adults in their lives. If you have a parent who makes disparaging remarks about people's (or your own) appearance, you can easily end up repeating the behaviour .

Scarlettjune that is so sad.I hope you find something better soon.I work with much younger pretty women and can honestly say I'm not jealous of them.I can remember the highs and lows that come with being in your 20s or 30s.
Why people focus so much on external beauty when judging other I have no idea who makes them judge in the first place.

Some people need to punch down to feel better about themselves. 🤷‍♀️

I thought this stuff finished as you get older and life is finite.
Clearly not.

I used to be a real feminist

But honestly, women and men are both capable of cruelty.

After God, fear women

Worked in male dominated fields all my life and I can tell you some of the boys are REAL catty. Growing up I noticed it with my brothers as well, especially the middle one - he can be a real bitch and a right shit stirrer.

I think most people have a bitchy side. I know sometimes I can, but I try and keep it with DH and my best friends. “If you don’t have anything nice to say, wait till we’re alone and tell me all about it” type thing. I think being bitchy only becomes a serious issue when you’re bitching to people you don’t really know that well/bitching about people you don’t know that well. Me and DH having a bitch about my sister isn’t the same as what you’re describing with your colleagues. Hope you find a new job, but sometimes it’s just out the frying pan into the fire.

Because they are miserable and misery loves company, so they want to bring others down

Have you asked the offending colleague?

Most of the women I have known, both in work, social and family life, have been lovely human beings.
The odd one, who likes to talk down to or disparagingly about other women, are without doubt jealous, and a jealous woman is not nice to be around.

Regarding looks, I enjoy seeing lovely looking women. I can happily compliment someone when they look nice, and tbh, find it hard to understand some women when they make nasty comments about a womans appearance, whether they are beautiful or not.
If one can't say something nice....say nothing.

The cruellest person on earth ...is a jealous woman.

I have seen women absolutely destroy other women out of jealousy.

I am still upset about my friend who killed herself after suffering severe bullying at work.

She was beautiful and kind, and they were jealous

Insecurity on their part.
Pity them.

I'm so sorry to hear that.
I have seen pics of girls and young women in the news, who have committed suicide after being constantly bullied and told they are ugly, useless, etc. Invariably, these girls are beautiful.
It's not hard to believe that the females who hounded them were eaten up with jealousy.

When I was younger i was very beautiful.

In my own family i had a lot of female cousins and I was the prettiest one. For example a man came up to me at a family wedding and said "i cant believe you are anna's cousin, you are so much better looking than her". My good looks led to me being treated terribly by my own family.

This led to me being treated the worst out of them all. My female cousins would treat me badly and would bully me.The wives of my uncles would glare at me. They would go on days out all the time and leave me out. They would leave me out of things all the time. I received female cruelty from a young age

Jealousy is terribly destructive isnt it. I wonder are men jealous of good looking men? Maybe , but I don't think to the same degree of destruction

It's a useless emotion, and I seriously do pity people who suffer from it.
I think men are less jealous of a handsome, tall, slim man....they are more inclined to worry about penis size than physical beauty.

Worked for the NHS where I experienced supportive working environments but also some where bullying was rife and little support given if you said anything. Bullying causes trauma which cam stay with you,

In the specific context of physical appearance at work, I'd say men and women are both critics and targets, but it takes different forms. Maybe it's partially because men have historically been more constrained on what they can wear and how they adorn themselves at work, and because women historically have been judged more on looking good, beautiful, presentable, youthful versus making money or getting ahead but it often feels like - beyond the obvious poor hygiene, inappropriate dress or decoration, sloppiness, ill-fitting or worn out clothes - men are more often criticised for specific things that actually may kind of make sense in a work context. Women seem to get more personal comments overall and more general ones, which can feel like a judgment of the person or her life choices, not just a bad decision about how to present herself at work or reflection on professionalism.

Did you see Jason's Disney tie? Bold choice for an interview! Oliver's suits look expensive but the cheap shoes give him away. Does Arthur own just the one suit - or a whole closet of identical ones? Tom's wearing pink with green - did his kids pick out his outfit today? Will needs a haircut - he looks the cover of a Mills & Boon. Bad haircut on Nick ; bet his wife did it with the lawn clippers. Luke bits his nails - wonder what he's so nervous about? Noah's nails are so shiny - d'you think he gets manicures??

Joan wears no/minimal makeup; she looks tired/pale. Kate wears a full face every day; she looks like a clown. Does Tessa not know we can see her grays? Does Caroline think we believe that's her natural colour? Sophie must spend a fortune on clothes - rich husband? Does Lucy buy all her clothes at Tesco? Hannah always looks like a nun - she must be roasting in that turtleneck! I can see Juliet's cleavage - how desperate can you get? Millie is so skinny, I bet she's bulimic. Wow, Beth's let herself go - she barely fits into her interview suit!

I much preferred working alongside men….women can be absolutely brutal sadly!

I agree that they’re insecure about themselves.

That’s why it’s usually aimed at younger, prettier woman.

Or they aim it at people who they deem as weak and who won’t fight back because they’re bullies.

I agree.
In my experience, I have seen more female nastiness, jealousy, and even sometimes cruelty, aimed at other women, online, than I ever have out in the real world.

Maybe anonymity brings out the 'bravery' in them.

There are plenty of dreadful people in this world.

we can choose our friends - our colleagues not so much.