Would you remind this couple to pay and how not to make awkward?

[Hackneymumm]

A couple we know (our DC are friends). OurDC took part in a competition recently and afterwards we went to a restaurant for lunch / drinks. 4 adults and 4DC. My DH paid on the day and said let’s sort it out afterwards as there was a massive queue at the bar where you had to pay. The bill was £230. My DH forgot to text them bank details and they didn’t remember either. Nearly 2 weeks have gone by. Do you think it’s rude to send a text saying we just remembered and asking for their half? To add - they have expressed they are hard up at the moment!

If not rude / awkward then how would you phrase it?

This…completely x

I remember one mum who organised a team event messaged with “lovely as your kids are in not quite generous enough to buy them all pizza!” Then the payment details - I thought they was the right tone and made not paying seem utterly unreasonable but in a friendly way.

I have been burnt so many times, so I don't do it anymore, I don't care how awkward it is to split the bill 7-ways, I don't care I have to wait, really I don't. I have been either scammed or absent-mindedly short-changed by friends, not strangers, that I gave up on picking up the tab and sorting it out later.

Unless I want to treat everyone (happens very rarely), I say, no, thank you, we pay separately.

Also, I never go anywhere when I am hard-up.

P.S. Cheeky fuckers - hard up and go to a restaurant?

Just use your big girl words and send a message saying you forgot in the night but can the please transfer you the £115.

Do they not know your phone number either? Because they could have texted and asked!
Or given their phone number to one of their children to give to you.

I’m always suprised by posts like these. Goodness isn’t most people busy and forget things? Your DH did. I do all time. If I pay for something I normally message there and then with bank details as I’ll probably forget and I certainly wouldn’t remember if was other way around necessarily. And I wouldn’t think it awkward or rude if you text now asking for money, I’d just pay and say thanks. Mountains and Mike hills spring to mind

Leave Mike out of this, please.

I assume they forgot. We had this exact situation recently and it clean went out of our head to pay as they hadn’t given their bank details. A week or two later they basically sent a replica of many of these messages over. We paid immediately and apologised for forgetting to ask for the bank details. No biggie. At all. I’m sure they will pay as soon as you remind them.

Def ask for it! There are so many CFs not paying at group dinner threads! Insist on it!!!!

Lovely to see you! Did we agree to split the bill or for you to pay next time? If you need them these are my bank details.

My late OH would sometimes not be clear in circumstances like this!

Then they should have started a separate bill from the start or made the effort to go to the counter and pay their share at the time!

Why on earth would it be rude to ask for money owed to you?

If they're hard up they shouldn't have gone for the meal. Remind them.

they have expressed they are hard up at the moment! Yet spending £130 on lunch for 2 adults and 2 children.

Not rude at all, what IS rude is the fact they’ve stayed quiet and are hoping you won’t mention it, who does this seriously!!

I’d have insisted on sending a quick bank transfer at the time.

Surely you've had a reply now?

I dont think the OP was intending to update as she said she was "closing the thread" in her last post

Your DH said he’d send over the bank details, and hasn’t. They are likely wondering why not and how to politely chase him up themselves. Use any of the suggested phrases upthread.

Ah I missed that. Boring.. the worst threads 😂🙄

Exactly. Forgot my arse. They’re hoping it’s forgotten about.

To everyone saying you haven’t provided bank details, they haven’t asked for them either. If it were me, I’d have chased you but then I hate owing money. Absolutely message them bank details. Nothing cheeky about it. They expressed they would pay half.

Hi …, how are you guys? Just realised I never send you my bank details following our lunch after the competition. Your half is £115.
thank you. (Followed by bank details).

it doesn’t have to be awkward. It’s a lot of money.

I think they’re quite cheeky, especially as they suggested the place. And for not chasing it themselves afterwards.

A simple "sorry for the delay, but here's our bank details and your share was x. Would have messsged sooner but it's been super busy this end"

Its not about forgetting then and take away the assumption that youve just absorbed the cost.