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Light-hearted! What would you do now if you were Keir Starmer?

2 replies

KeyLimeCake · 13/05/2026 10:40

Thinking about the pressure he is under at the moment, I was idly wondering what I would do if I was catapulted into the situation.

I'd be tempted to be an agent of chaos.
First I would sack my cabinet. If I had to appoint a new one, I'd pick all those unlikely leadership challengers from the back benches. They could decide among themselves who wanted to be what.
I would trigger a general election - as early as possible. Or as late as possible, I might do a poll on my X page to help me decide.

I would check if there was any further fun things I could do before resigning dramatically live on TV and appointing the most random back bencher (from a different party if that's allowed) I could find to run the show til they sorted themselves out.

I would then move to New Zealand and work a small farm with my family, drawing my big fat UK pension.

So, what would you do?

*this is not what I think he should do, just what I would do.

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EveryKneeShallBow · 13/05/2026 10:49

Funnily enough I fell asleep last night thinking about this. Like you I just about concluded that I would trigger an election and resign live saying something like Right, you bunch of bastards, you fucked around good luck with what you find out!

KeyLimeCake · 13/05/2026 11:00

I wonder if I could get a Reform MP, not Farage or Tice, preferably an unknown one, to cross the floor and he could be in charge?
He could have a good bash at stopping the boats before the election.

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