Does anyone else’s DM clutch their pearls if wearing anything low cut?

[TheNaturalBronde]

As per the title , love my DM dearly but I get driven to distraction by what I interpret as body policing a little bit by my DM especially if in wearing something low cut like a vest top or summer dress.

Im 38, size 22/24 in most things and roughly a 38/40F , dependent on bra Style

and it can be difficult not to look a bit booby in summer wear, I’m not innapropriate I don’t wear these things at work, family functions etc

but there’s often a “ oh we’re a bit low aren’t we, it’s ok we have time change? 🤨
or I can stitch that for you, I often say no as it ruins the style.
on
holi abroad it was 28 c and there was surprise there aswell, I said im
on holiday I’ll wear what I’m comfortable in, I know it’s partly generational.

anyone else have this issue ? Argh! 😣

Yes and the “don’t you think you are too old to wear that?!” No, I don’t! (Not talking anything outrageous)

Yep my mum used to do the same. So I got my chest tattooed so she's more horrified about that than the low cut clothing

Yep, my mother once suggested I wear a 'modesty panel' under my dress as she thought it was too low cut.

I'd tell her quite frankly to shove her opinions where the sun don't shine! I have similar sized chest to you and totally agree especially with summer wear you can't help but have them on show!

Haha glad im
not alone in this , I have to be quite abrupt when she threatens to start wielding a needle 🙈

I’ve been told that mothers shouldn’t have their wears on show! hoiks bosom

the words “cover yourself” come to mind from my mother

Yep, this and also that I shouldn’t wear red nail varnish. I’m 50. 😵‍💫

Mine used to say that you could park a bicycle in my cleavage. I think that she meant just the front wheel, rather than the whole bike....... 🚲

Yeah ive been told since turning 30 that im to old to be wearing jeans or to have long hair

Years after meeting my now MIL, she said she was shocked that I had an anklet on when meeting her. It was summer, so I had sandals and a knee length skirt on. The anklet is a plain, gold chain. I have no idea what she thought it 'meant' but assume she saw it as cheap and tacky or a sign I was a hussy? 🤷‍♀️

My mum was always quite into fashion (for me) when I was younger as she was for her when she was younger. Now I’m older she still kindly comments when I have nice clothes or clothes look nice on me. Never once commented on cleavage etc. never comments on my body in a negative way. I always take her opinion and value it actually.

I did turn up wearing a leopard print top one day and she couldn’t say anything else before she told me I looked like a chav and it was awful 😂😂😂 I never did wear that top again. Funniest part was my DH and sister also agreed. Therefore I never did wear it again for fear of looking like an extra in Eastenders.

Mum used to go topless at the beach with sister and me, so not an issue in our family.

Is she also a “Karen”?

DM is more likely to be after me for being scruffy. But we live on a smallholding, so I don't have much call for nice clothes outside of work travel! She does ask me when I'm cutting my hair, as she thinks if you're over 40 you shouldn't have your hair longer than your shoulders. Mine is half way down my back and is still very thick, wavy and heavy and with few greys. I don't see why I need to cut it just because my age starts with a 4! I seem to always be the only middle aged woman in my salon not getting extensions, so I think those hair rules are well out of date now.

My DGM, still going in her mid 90s, prides herself on never having worn her hair longer than her earlobes, never having worn or owned jeans, trainers or worn anything less on top than a blouse with buttons. She is a lovely person in many ways, but finds my love of denim, tattoos and long hair appalling 😂

No my DM is the opposite...she's always had a much more adventurous dress sense than me. Neither of us particularly wear low cut things because we are both quite flat-chested but she thinks I should wear short dresses if I like them (I like things knee length or longer...I don't want to be scared of a gust of wind or bending over all day!)

My mother doesn't just tut-tut about cleavage, she also gets her up about hem length. Last night I wore a sheer dress, with a slip underneath, and she kept commenting that the slip was too short.

I don't think anyone was ogling my 55 year old legs under the dinner table.

If you generally get on with DM and she’s not straight from an Edwardian WI meeting, I’d be inclined to take her opinion seriously, she can be honest with you in a way nobody else can. I’m going to get roasted for this but big breasts on display can look desperate, it can come across like, that’s all you’ve got so you’re going to really flaunt it.

There are so many attractive summer tops and dresses with modest necklines, even larger shapes have no excuse for quite so much on display.

My 92 year old mum told me ‘if it pleases the wearer, bugger the starer’ and always said ‘march to the beat of your own drum’.

She has tales of scandalising her village in the 50s and 60s with her fashion sense and hairstyle and colour choices.

I was wearing a low cut dress recently whilst nipping (pun not intended) to see her before going out. She said she’d love to wear that but it’s be too much effort untucking her own boobs from her socks to fit 😂

DM was wearing a pair of jeans and her Purple Rain t-shirt at the time.

Her own mother, who was born in 1900 and a horrible person in general, stopped wearing colourful clothes as soon as she turned 50.
She replaced them with black and navy dresses/separates and adopted an old lady persona complete with unnecessary walking stick and was judgemental as fuck.

My DM has told me about how the nonsense misogynistic messages (women shouldn’t have long hair after 40, anklets are worn by prostitutes, red having connotations etc) were so ingrained that they even pop up in her head after 92 years of conditioning!

The difference is that she looks at these with critical thinking and she’s always been a contrary rebel.

Have you not thought that, if you have larger than average breasts, they’re bound to show? Even if you’re wearing the identical ‘modest’ outfit to someone else with a smaller frame?

Check your internalised misogyny mate. ‘Desperate’ indeed… 🙄

You can’t win with my mum. When I wear low-cut tops I’m told I look tarty for showing too much cleavage, but when my sister is wearing a low cut top she’s told that she needs more cleavage to pull it off 😅

Dear Ms ChaToilLeam Snr,

Slips under a sheer dresses are supposed to be shorter than the dress. The idea is that it shows a silhouette of your legs but nothing more. So please don’t tell your daughter hers is too short.

Yours sincerely … 😀

I don’t think anyone else on this thread has used that word.

My goodness I feel very lucky, my mum would never dream of making a comment about my cleavage and both my MILs wear more low cut tops than I do (to be fair they both have much more impressive cleavage than I do!!)

You don’t have big boobs do you? I’m a 34L, I have cleavage in any clothing other than a polo neck or crew neck. Which both look horrendous on me
It’s hard enough finding tops and dresses that fit, cover a bra and look nice without trying not to show any cleavage at all

On display? That is about as judgy and misogynistic as you can get and certainly not within the spirit of the thread.