Does anyone else’s DM clutch their pearls if wearing anything low cut?

[TheNaturalBronde]

As per the title , love my DM dearly but I get driven to distraction by what I interpret as body policing a little bit by my DM especially if in wearing something low cut like a vest top or summer dress.

Im 38, size 22/24 in most things and roughly a 38/40F , dependent on bra Style

and it can be difficult not to look a bit booby in summer wear, I’m not innapropriate I don’t wear these things at work, family functions etc

but there’s often a “ oh we’re a bit low aren’t we, it’s ok we have time change? 🤨
or I can stitch that for you, I often say no as it ruins the style.
on
holi abroad it was 28 c and there was surprise there aswell, I said im
on holiday I’ll wear what I’m comfortable in, I know it’s partly generational.

anyone else have this issue ? Argh! 😣

Funny that you sound exactly like you've come straight from that very meeting yourself

Exactly! It’s always the same if the word “modest” 🤮 is involved. Women have boobs, people should get over it.

Oh bore off 🙄

Maybe it makes her (and therefore others) feel self-conscious? No one is going to tell you except your mum.

I lived abroad for a long time and when I got back I went to a black tie do and it seemed a lot of people were displaying a to me inappropriate level of boobage. It was hard not to look! Still, they seemed happy. I’d have been embarrassed! I was glad I was not a man. I don’t think it’s very classy though, in all honestly.

Not so much now, as a middle aged adult, but my mother was more concerned about “looking scruffy”.
She’d be getting at my very curly hair with a brush if she had her way😆

So having big boobs and not covering them up to befit a human-invented idea of modesty means that im desperate for attention.
Sure sure sure. Doesnt mean that im just existing with big bangers at all, it means I psychologically crave attention. Got it.

So having big boobs and not covering them up to befit a human-invented idea of modesty means that im desperate for attention.
Sure sure sure. Doesnt mean that im just existing with big bangers at all, it means I psychologically crave attention. Got it.

Is her body type very different from yours, or quite similar? I've often found that people with smaller breasts really genuinely don't understand that cleavage happens by default, and that it can be excessively and unreasonably time consuming to "cover up" in warmer and especially in humid weather! Personally I've found that it's disproportionately men rather than women that "don't get it" and make wild, weird, self-referntial assumptions, though - makes sense, I guess, as most have never had to deal with the issue on any scale themselves.

No. My DM is quite liberal

but

she does have a maddening habit of saying “oh, steak? Oh, crisps? Oh, JAM ROLY POLY?” whenever we go supermarket shopping together

I have larger than average breasts. I find it extremely easy to find clothes that cover them up which is important for a teacher - no kids want to see my chest when I lean over their desk to help them with their maths 😂

Desperate for what though?

if that’s your body you can’t control what your body is like and why should you cover yourself and ruin the style of a e .g wrap dress or halter dress for the comfort of others?
I don’t wear short things , my preference so I don’t agree I need to be fully covered.
i don’t agree I need an excuse to be “ on display” whatever that means.
i think the idea that’s all a woman has going for her is a bit 😕
someone being plus sized doesn’t mean they have nothing going for them.

Perhaps it makes her (and therefore others) feel uncomfortable? She’s the only person who could possibly say anything so may be worth taking on board?

If someone feels uncomfortable with something that does no harm, the individual who feels uncomfortable is the one that needs to change. Otherwise it is akin to victim blaming.

"If it pleases the wearer, bugger the starer"

I love this! I am going to use it ALL the time now, brilliant attitude.

Yes. I’m large of chest and my Mum and both siblings do the pearl clutch, mime pull your dress up. No, I won’t. They are what they are. One of my siblings tried to force a safety pin on me once

I like that saying! Words to live by!

I can’t bear my cleavage showing, feels tacky. Wouldn’t want to have my baps on show in front of my kids especially. I find lots of nice summer and holiday outfits that don’t flaunt my boobs!

I don’t want to be rude, but I disagree. We’ve had norms of covering certain body parts for centuries. I just think it may be worth being open-minded in this case, rather than automatically dismissing something that may be well meant. It just depends really what she is wearing and what type of mum she has!

But we are talking cleavage here (generally socially acceptable in the UK and mainland Europe) not walking down the high street topless. As for the centuries comment, there was a time when an ankle was not acceptable, nor women going out to work.

Aaaaw, I’ll tell her that her motto lives on! 😊

Please do - I genuinely think it’s brilliant! Pithy, funny and correct!

got some mixed opinions on here which is all good

I think there’s an element of body shaming sometimes as if I was a size 10 A
cup no one would really care I don’t think.

wares

As expected, I’ve triggered a few people. I work with people who’ve had a mastectomy many have larger busts. To keep scars and prosthetics private there are wealth of clothes available now that don’t result in excessive cleavage. It’s not about wearing only polo necks. There is a difference between an inch of cleavage hinting at a feminine shape and several inches of cleavage that looks more like a builders arse. If you are in the latter camp, you can be as defensive about rights as you want, but people looking at you will think your cleavage looks like a builders arse. In some environments that is so inappropriate it seems like it can only be for attention. Why would you invite people to look at your cleavage when there are nice clothes available that reduce the visibility of your cleavage?

If I went to see a male solicitor on a warm day and he was sat there in shorts and no top. Of course he’s entitled to be comfortable and wear whatever he wants, but I’ll definitely be wondering what attention seeking weirdness this is about, and why he couldn’t just cover up a bit to be professional. Women with lots of cleavage on display can come across in a similarly inappropriate way. It’s not a judgement on their body, it’s a judgement on their inability to see what might be socially acceptable for the situation. In the Western world, a lack of suitable clothing just isn’t an excuse anymore; so when I see lots of cleavage display (out of the context of the beach or an exceptionally hot day) I feel sorry for the individual for not having the budget to buy appropriate clothes.

This is all stuff that you’d never say to a stranger of course or even just a minor acquaintance, but you might say it to someone you’re very close to. Hence DMs comment.

I always thought I was body confident and women should wear what they want . But with some of the fashions now I think it's too far the other way . Side boob, nipple pasties , stragetic pieces of material, never mind the floss string bottoms of bikinis. English men still aren't wearing Speedos though are they .

My father used to getting embarrassed at some of the things my sister especially used to wear . Just a different generation .
See the archives about how shocking the mini skirt was in the 60s