Anyone after a cheap laugh at my expense?

[UnctuousUnicorns]

My parents sent us a cheque in the post, just arrived today.
DH said, "I can't pay this in via the banking app; it's too big."
I said, "But it's just a normal sized cheque, surely?"
DH: "No, the amount of money it's for is too high - you cant pay that much in online!"

D'oh! 🤦‍♀️😳 😅😅

I’ve tried to enlarge the text in a real book by dragging two fingers apart on the page 🤦🏼‍♀️

I once spent ages looking for my phone to make a call while listening to YouTube on my phone...🤷🏼‍♀️
I've also tried to expand words by pinching them in a book 🤦🏼‍♀️🤣

🤦🏼‍♀️

I went to the cinema with my daughter on a very bright summer day.

When we got in there and the film had started every scene seemed really gloomy so I whispered to my DD "This film is awfully dark isn't it?"
She gave me the most withering look imaginable and said "That's because you've still got your sunglasses on mother"

Natwest will let you do £1,000

Think what you like , pal. I've got enough shit in my life right now without worrying about what people like you think. 🤷‍♀️

🤣🤣🤣🤣 Best one yet!!!

I am so glad that the looking for my phone while I am on my phone/looking for my glasses when I am wearing them thing doesnt just happen to me!

One less thing to worry about! Just the stress incontinence and the "what did I come in here for?" to deal with......

Which one? There's some absolute crackers on here - thanks to all for the solidarity in daftness - and for all the kind words. I'm cracking up with laughter and touched at the same time. Thanks again. 💛

I am so sorry that your life has made you become someone so sceptical and unkind.

I actually cried when I did that! I spent hours simmering it, seasoning it etc and then waved it goodbye as it gurgled down the plughole. I have been on MN for 20 odd years, its a common theme!

I'm embarrassed to say that I've done this on multiple occasions. Along with saying I couldn't find my phone when I was on the phone (so it was held to my ear).

I guess I asked for that

Ha ha, I havw done the exact opposite - thriftily used a turkey carcase as the basis for a soup without straining the bone and gristle out

My sister calls it Adventure Surprise Soup - risk of choking to death in every mouthful!

I once made a loaf in the bread making machine. Put it on a rack on top of the microwave to cool down. Microwave is next to the sink. Yes, I came into the kitchen to find my loaf floating in the bowl of washing up water in the sink. 🤦‍♀️

As a child, I often cycled to school and then walked home because I forgot I had cycled there.
Also, left my bike outside a shop and walked home many times.
Im no better now 🤷‍♀️

I once dropped baby DS off at nursery, came home to get changed for work, put the kettle on - whilst it was boiling I suddenly panicked “where’s DS?” and began frantically searching the house and car for him (he was around 4mths old at the time and immobile so God knows where I thought he’d managed to get to). I was on the verge of tears and about to phone DH at work to tell him I’d misplaced the baby, when I realised I’d dropped him at nursery about 10 minutes earlier. Sleep deprivation is a bitch.

I don't remember aerogrammes, but it sounds like they could have been the inspiration for the howler letters in Harry Potter!

Oh and I’ve done this recently too. Would usually walk the kids to school and pop in and check on my DM on the way home. One day I’d driven the kids to school. Popped in to see DM, and forgetting I’d driven that day, walked home as usual. Left my house to get in the car later that day, couldn’t find the car and panicked that it’d been stolen from outside my house. Thankfully remembered where I’d left it, before I reported it stolen. I shall blame perimenopause for that one.

I had this once. PFB DS who was probably about a similar age. I was on the bus from a hospital appointment and he was with my mother. I was just sitting, watching the world go by when I looked down to check on him and he wasnt there. Honestly the panic! It was only for a few seconds before I remembered so I didnt make a huge scene, but it genuinely terrified me that I had left him somewhere!

I think we just get so used to having these little creatures attached to us in some way that when they are not we panic.

Google Jennifer Saunders losing her baby. She tells the story in her and Dawns podcast and on Graham Norton I think!

wow.

I suppose it’s a pretty handy evolutionary tool to make sure we’re not all going around forgetting our young children… but it feels bloody awful doesn’t it?

Gosh you really are very unpleasant aren't you. Again, I am very sorry that you experienced whatever made you that way.