What age did you allow your child more independence?

[CharlieWeasleysWife]

At what age did you start to allow DC some freedom and independence?

DC9 has been asking for some time for some freedom - to walk to the shops (10 mins each way, no major roads to cross but some questionable teenagers hanging around), stay at home for half an hour while I pop out etc. Walking to school is not an option, too far and down country lanes with no footpaths.

So far I have allowed him to walk round large supermarkets to browse/fetch things for me whilst I am shopping in the same supermarket (he actually wants to do a full weekly shop for the family 🤭), enter a small local shop alone to purchase agreed items while I wait in car outside, always allow/encourage him to go up to the counter to place orders in coffee shops, soft play etc....

It is tricky as we live on a busy through road so no opportunity to play out independently and local parks often have groups of (sometimes unpleasant) teens hanging around.

No phone and don't intend to give him one anytime soon, although considering a Karri if anyone has similar and can recommend?

Yes by that age but I still preferred it when he was out with another child than on his own

From age 8 ish - go ahead of me to the park after school (no roads to cross, no flight risk) or go ahead of me to the library if i need to pick something up at the shop next door.

He's now 10 in yr 5 and has just started walking all the way home from school alone (with friends,safe route) - we built up to it.

This summer we will let him go to the park on our estate for an hour with friends without us.

DD1 is 9 and we're building things up gradually at the minute. She'll do similar as yours e.g go into a shop to buy something while I wait outside or wait in the car for five minutes while I drop her little sister at her club etc.

We've got quite a simple walk to school although there is one main road to cross where you have to cross half the road at a time and wait in the middle for a gap in the traffic. I'll let her walk ahead of me (she's now in Y4) and cross the side streets, zebra crossings etc but we still cross the main road together for now. I'm always walking DD2 who is 6 anyway so it's more for building up confidence and road safety.

I haven't left her at home alone yet purely as there's never been a need. DH works from home so it's rare we'd all need to be out of the house but leave one of the kids at home.....but I'd be comfortable leaving her for a short time. We have a home phone and she's pretty sensible.

This does sound quite extreme, does she not walk to school be herself? Does she meet friends in town or at the cinema?

You're not doing her any favours by being overprotective, watching them grow up and become independent is one of the joys of being a parent. My dd (20yo) is going travelling to Australia in a few weeks I am so proud of her and myself for raising her to be brave!