Wendy Duffy heart breaking but understandable

[youalright]

What a brave lady i hope she's holding her son right now.

What’s the alternative then? If someone wants to kill themselves then what right does anyone have to prevent them? Do you think someone should be forced to endure their life when it causes them so much pain (mental or physical) that they want to end it? Because that is cruel

It's not about her siblings. It's about her. Her life, her choice.

Well, because you might stop feeling so miserable at some point. You never know! And you never will know if you kill yourself.

But by all means, if a young person you love comes to you and says they're horrendously depressed and suicidal for some fairly valid reason (such as trauma, for instance), then you tell them it's best they kill themselves right away, because you care about them, and you don't want them to continue to live in utter misery.

(Good lord, when did the world turn topsy-turvy? Was it around the time we all decided that apparently men can be women? And now suicide is good?? What's next, rape is beneficial? 😵‍💫)

People make the decision to end their life every day, the only difference here is she's doing it through a clinic so guaranteeing it works but essentially it's the same as any other suicide.

You have no idea how this mother will react to her daughter killing herself.

You have no idea how mild or advanced her dementia is.

You’re spouting rubbish about a stranger that the family could well end up reading.

Have I said that? No, no I haven't. I have merely said that suicide is not good, and that companies and governments should not be killing people because they're sad. I have pointed out that suicide is not that different to carry out, and that all people have the right to end their own lives.

Ok

Agreed. Who do they think they are to make decisions for other people about other peoples lives. Despots or religious zealots. No one should have the right to tell anyone else what to do or not to do with their body, with themselves, with their life.

She is entitled to do this and I support her in making the decision she feels is right for her. Very sad for sure but definitely her decision to make. If you don’t want to do this yourself, then don’t, and that’s fine too.

I can't understand why you would be happy to condemn someone to live an unbearable life? Why should you decide that for her?

But that's not what has happened in this case.

The salient point being that she was deemed sane to make her choice.

I don't believe in an afterlife but memories of someone you care and love deeply can severely interrupt your everyday life and limit it.

@Gloriia

"This though, a compos mentis person choosing to end her life as she didn't want to live without her ds any longer"

Surely an oxymoron?

She was not compos mentis though, she was totally overwhelmed and bereft in her grief, wasn't she?

Well, it is, I believe, a very successful method. Those are just three off the top of my head - there are many more, I can think of including several people that my DH and I have known (friends, or family members of friends).

I don't advocate for anyone to kill themselves, but I think it's a little silly to pretend that everyone is botching it unless they get a Swiss company to do it!

'(Good lord, when did the world turn topsy-turvy? Was it around the time we all decided that apparently men can be women? And now suicide is good?? What's next, rape is beneficial? 😵‍💫)'

Seriously? You're conflating a persons' right to choose to live or die with

• the male pattern violent gender woo scandal, and
• Sexual violence?

That tells us all very clearly that you can't think critically or rationally.

Nobody is saying that. Attempting suicide is always a risk as the average person has absolutely no idea what their doing plus an innocent person usually a family member has to find you clinics like this take all that away

Had a wee cry reading the the article.
Rip Wendy
Hope you are at peace with your boy

If we legalise assisted dying effectively for depression then we will have to let anyone die for any reason really. You might think that you understand this woman’s motivation and imagine that she’s now “with her son” (she’s not obviously with him at all as they are both dead) but what if it’s someone who is devastated because they have lost a pet or lost a family member who isn’t a child or because a relationship had ended? I think she was suffering from a deep depression and wasn’t motivated to get better. No she doesn’t owe anyone anything but I don’t want to live in a world where a state sanctions killing someone. I do agree with assisted dying where someone is terminally ill and in physical pain/loses dignity. But not for this. And no, it’s not brave.

Why is that not what happened? What's different about the situation?

Alright. If a 24-year-old female family member came to you, and said she was considering contacting an assisted suicide company because four years ago her boyfriend died, or her baby was stillborn, or her parents both died, and she was sane but deeply depressed, would you tell her to hurry up and make the call, because you care about her and don't want her to suffer any longer? And that she'd best not keep trying to struggle on and see if things got better, because that would just make you sad for her?

Because that's the import of what you said in a previous comment.

There was a similar case last year with Amanda Bloom who decided to end her like with Pegasos 8 years after her daughter's death. https://www.lancasterguardian.co.uk/news/national/bentham-woman-who-died-in-switzerland-has-bursary-created-in-her-honour-5234805

I don't think "bravery" is something needs to be discussed. It is what both of these women chose to do, they don't owe anyone bravery (either by dying or by staying alive).
I absolutely understand it, I have three children and I'm not sure how I would cope if one died.
I spent many years being suicidal (before having children) and I honestly believe that for some people life is too painful to bear and that suicide prevention isn't always a kindness or in the best interest of the person.

When my friend's son died she described the agony of the pull between going to be with her son and staying alive with her daughter.

The pain is gone now for Wendy and Amanda. RIP.

Underlying this “understanding” is also a misogynistic view that middle aged women’s lives aren’t worth living if they lose a child. I can guarantee if this was a 30 year old woman who said she couldn’t live anymore because her mum had died or because she’d been assaulted, people would say she needs to be stopped. Middle aged mum loses her son and people say they totally get it and that she will be reunited with him now.

Yes, and that risk places a roadblock in the way and often dissuades people from killing themselves, forcing them to try to struggle on - and quite often, given time, they get better. Removing that obstacle by getting a company to do it, means that a lot more people are going to kill themselves, who would've gotten better otherwise.

It's not hard to find reliable suicide methods online (or at least it wasn't 25 years ago, ask me how I know) and as for a family member finding you...well, if you're willing to tell them that you're going to a clinic to be killed, or capable of arranging for them to be told, it wouldn't be that hard to make sure they didn't find you by scheduling a text to the authorities or a friend, to be sent after you're dead.

Really, it's not good enough to say "committing suicide is hard and scary, so we now need to pay companies to kill suicidal people."

That's so dystopian that it's wild.

It's totally different.

Why do you insist on making different scenarios?

Only on Mumsnet

'I don't think someone should have the right to pay a company to kill them because they're depressed and want to die, and yet don't want it badly enough to do it themselves, and are too afraid they'll botch the job.'

The company doesn't kill them, they kill themselves, that's always very clear. so you're fundamentally incorrect to keep going on about a company 'killing them'.

Why don't you think someone should 'have the right to' pay a company to help them kill themselves. What has it got to do with you?

What is different?