What qualities made your parents good ones when you were growing up?

[TheLargeOnes]

If you had good parents, what qualities did they have? What lovely things did they do for you that you remember?

I have a baby so am thinking about the future. Thinking about my Mum growing up. She was and is very consistent and predictable, never got angry and so could tell her anything. Catered to my (long gone) fussy eating without any drama. So many other things too ❤️

My mother had alot of MH problems that she did not seek help for until I was in my 20s. So she was highly unpredictable and very volatile.

I have a tendency to depression and that lesson meant i seek help as soon as i feel myself dipping.

What both my parents did really well though- they were interested in me, my thoughts, my experiences, my point of view. When my mother was well she was also my biggest champion. They both respected me as my own person from a young age.

They are in their 70s now and along with DH they are my go-to people for anything that happens. They live a long-haul flight away and I call them (or vice versa) several times a week just for a chat. Because we like each other.

My mum: reliable, gentle, encouraging, patient and just always "there" for us all despite having a not great childhood herself.

I have extraordinarily conflicted thoughts about mine. I was desperate to leave home. I can honestly say I hated being there. I was fed but certainly had nothing in common with mum nor her with me.

As she got older and I had dc, we did get on better but she was very rude about my dc in a Christmas letter one year. She actually showed me a letter she was sending off. I was truly horrified. Yes, my DDs had some issues playing with each other at times, but DD1 had amazingly good school reports and DD2 was enjoying nursery. She told all her friends and relatives thst my dc were not happy and blamed me! It was totally ridiculous and she really thought girls should play sweetly and quietly. Completely unrealistic. It took all my self control to not forbid her to see them if they were such a disappointment. We did recover but I’ve not forgotten it. She got to 100 years old and died but I never felt there was any loyalty to
me when dc were young.

My dad was fun, funny, fair, consistent, loving, in general on our side, but also held very firm boundaries when we were misbehaving and rude. We grew up knowing we were loved and believing we were lovable. He and my step mum also modelled a kind, loving and happy relationship despite money worries and her being chronically ill. I appreciate the start in life they gave me and my brother so much.

They were always fair.
Consistent. Funny.
Looking back, I think what they modelled has rubbed off on us all.
Treated everyone with respect and with kindness.
Were generous with their time in volunteering, helping others out (would always give people lifts for example).
They taught us to enjoy life and try new things / give things a go even if we weren't sure. They taught us we could aim to do anything we put our minds to.
They gave us an inner self confidence. Taught us (showed us?) to work hard and take responsibility. Taught us how to budget.

What a lovely question. I’d say the main thing that made my Mum& Dad good parents is they were genuinely interested in us as people & made it obvious they enjoyed spending time with us - they’d ask our opinions & be genuinely interested in the answers, they got to know our friends, they’d watch the TV shows we liked with us etc etc