I’m speaking at an event tomorrow, and I’ve just managed to give myself two black eyes.

[CIumsy]

Not looking for advice because I think all I can do is plaster on the makeup tomorrow and hope that goes some way to reducing the appearance of the two massive shiners I’ve given myself 😭

Is anyone else an absolute klutz?

You might have to just own this one ... ice breaker?

Oh no what did you do? You will just have to address the “ Panda in the room”
Hope it goes well.

Dark glasses?

Oooh, I could go full Anna Wintour!! Not sure I could pull off her bob, but at least it’d distract from the eyes.

I did this once before a job interview. I felt I had to explain upfront. Got the job, though.

Op have you name changed especially for this post?

Yes.

Though it really is a very fitting name that I could have used a long time ago.
I once sprained my ankle whilst sitting down. The doctor at the minor injuries dept. brought in a colleague to laugh at me help.

How have you done it?

Right but are you going to say how you got two black eyes?

I know it's not important, just a bit weird you're ignoring the question.

Really stupidly!

I was trying to zip up a bag (soft-sided holdall type) that was stuffed with clothes for a flight. Not quite sure how I maneuvered my wrist but the zip tab broke off and I managed to punch myself into my nose. It’s very sore and throbbing still. Didn’t bleed, thankfully.

What a very strange post. At the time of you posting, one person had asked me as part of their reply. I didn’t see it so didn’t respond.

Not sure why you’re so upset that I missed a question?

Owww oh OP poor you. If it's any consolation I once broke mybhand doing bone strengthening exercises. Seriously.

I think you'll just have to explain at the outset, so people can quit wondering and listen to what you've gone there to say.

Well you’ve just made your talk unforgettable 😁 what a brilliant opening gambit 😎 Please tell us you are a physicist who will be talking about black holes 😁

Ouch!
If you have access to lots (lots) of makeup, you could try to conceal
Orange is a colour corrector for purple (or whatever is opposite to the colour of the bruise on the colour wheel), so loads of that on the base then concealer/foundation on top. Why do I know this? I knocked myself out on a lamp post laughing at an advert on the side of a bus the day before I had to do a huge international presentation in Hong Kong 😂got two black eyes and just about managed to conceal. Dab gently.

That’s hilarious! Please tell me you remember what the ad was about?

It wasn't supposed to be funny i don't think. It was for "intimate" spray and had a very wan looking woman holding a flower under her chin and included the word "whiff" iirc 😂

I once went to an interview with a black eye because the night before, I had swung off the ledge over the stairs in my childhood home. Except I'm taller than when I was 10.

The interviewer was a rugby player, so thought it normal to turn up places with a black eye. Not that I got the job.

Oh dear , poor you x
I gave myself a corker of a black eye by tripping over the threshold of a door and landing very awkwardly hitting the side of my head 😭
I was wearing slip ons sneakers , so no tripping over laces or anything like that and I don’t drink so wasn’t tipsy as several people joked 🙄 “ oh how many glasses had you had “
Arnica as soon as possible, the tablets if you can get them ( as long as they don’t interact with meds you already take etc ) or the arnica cream if you can’t .
And NYX do a good colour correction palette with yellow , green , peach , lilac etc to try to hide it .
also YouTube have some vidoes showing how to apply

Thanks also for all the makeup/concealment tips.

I have a little bit of time between arriving at my destination and before the event kicks off so I’m thinking of heading to a makeup counter at a big department store shortly after opening time and hoping they’ll take pity on me and work their magic if I agree to buy enough product.

I’m not much of a makeup wearer (more of a skincare woman) so nothing at home was really doing the job but I only had tinted moisturisers, very light coverage highlighting foundation products, and a concealer that was old and cakey.

I once had to go to work with a black eye after a very young DC managed to headbutt me laughing during a story.

Not a single soul asked me about it.

I once saw some advice on public speaking / giving presentations that said a minor mistake at the beginning immediately endears you to your audience / makes you more human / makes them tune in to you. This expert was recommending creating a mistake on purpose.
you fulfilled the brief! If it is visible tomorrow I’d just own it at the start of the talk, have a chuckle and move into your talk

I gave myself a black eye because I was having sex with my DH and our teenage child came back unexpectedly. I jumped off, slipped and hit my head against the kitchen door. Not every black eye is received through domestic violence!

@CIumsy don't just lather on foundation. Colour correct first using a red lipstick then concealer then foundation and that'll do the trick.

If you have an ice mask in the fridge, use that for a few hours before you go as well to help the swelling.

Good luck and smash it!

I once sneezed as I was picking up a hoover and hit myself in the nose with it. No black eyes thankfully.

I have had several black eyes over the years, all of my own making, and this concealer is magic at covering them. Put the concealer on first, followed by normal concealer or foundation. Should mention that I have a pale skin tone. It works incredibly well at covering them up.

https://amzn.eu/d/0ilHhJLA