Choosing a sunflower lanyard and card for an autistic child

[elliejjtiny]

Dh and I have been discussing this on and off for years and we've agreed that it's time to get our 11 year old a sunflower lanyard. But now I've looked and there are so many choices with different prices. I don't know where to start. Mil has given us her one but it's just the lanyard, it doesn't have a card on the end. I've got a load of the little plastic wallet things I can put on it. None of the cards I've seen online seem to match ds's needs but if I make my own will it be officially recognised? Do they still do the free ones in Tesco? Are the ones with Tesco stamped on them valid in other places? I'm completely clueless.

We want one to explain that he has autism as his behaviour is becoming more and more different from his peers as he gets older. His brothers are getting more embarrassed by his behaviour in public. So I thought if he was wearing a lanyard people would know he was disabled rather than think he was just extremely weird.

Fair enough, I don't think I have ever seen a child wear one in school either. I don't think it was actually what @elliejjtiny is proposing.

I know someone who wears one to get out of queuing at airports.

Not a friend, I might add.

My daughter has one with a card she got from the Hidden Disabilities website.

She has Tourette’s and just bought the Tourette’s card from there to go with it.

We made one for my nephew, it basically says “hi my name is (his name). I have autism and sometimes cannot verbally communicate. Please contact my parents (details on the back) if I cannot communicate with you.” Details on the back and then at the bottom “ask simple yes or no questions and provide me with a pen and paper if needed”

Never had any issues with it. Police, airport staff ect have all respected the self made card. He communicates fine a lot of the time but if he gets lots he freak out, he also can’t talk to strangers. Honestly though most people just see the lanyard and assume it’s autism.

Perhaps I am showing my age and the training of my stranger-danger childhood, but I would never put something clearly showing their name on a vulnerable child. If a person approached my DS and confidently used his name he would go with them, regardless of whether they were safe or not. He wears a wristband when we go out with my phone number on it.

Thank you. We don't ever go to the airport and he wouldn't be going anywhere like the shops or on the bus by himself.

The main issue is that he has always behaved like a toddler but now he is the same height as me with size 7 feet. I know that if I see someone with a sunflower lanyard on I am prepared for different behaviour and am more patient, not that I am rude to people without a lanyard. I thought that if we are out somewhere people will see the lanyard and assume autism or learning disabilities rather than just thinking he is weird. I wouldn't put his name on the card, athough if we ever get to the point where I don't have to be with him all the time he isn't at school I would put my phone number on it.

You’re putting too much faith in the general public, anyone who sees a 14 years old with behavioral traits of a toddler and goes straight to “weirdo” instead of engaging common sense, won’t suddenly become compassionate and understanding if they spot a lanyard.

Im not saying don’t get him one but I just don’t think it’s going to help in the way you hope. One of the recent posts on this thread, (might be deleted as I reported it) calling your son needy is exactly the type of person who’d go straight to thinking “weirdo” and it’s a waste of emotional energy trying to make that type of person understand.

This was me. I thought they were daffodils and that the wearers were staff from the local Marie Curie Centre. Now that I know what it means I'm still not sure what I'm supposed to do about it. If it signifies the need for space but also needing extra assistance while warning about not being able to tolerate anything unexpected or unfamiliar then I don't know how to help without potentially making things worse.