Choosing a sunflower lanyard and card for an autistic child

[elliejjtiny]

Dh and I have been discussing this on and off for years and we've agreed that it's time to get our 11 year old a sunflower lanyard. But now I've looked and there are so many choices with different prices. I don't know where to start. Mil has given us her one but it's just the lanyard, it doesn't have a card on the end. I've got a load of the little plastic wallet things I can put on it. None of the cards I've seen online seem to match ds's needs but if I make my own will it be officially recognised? Do they still do the free ones in Tesco? Are the ones with Tesco stamped on them valid in other places? I'm completely clueless.

We want one to explain that he has autism as his behaviour is becoming more and more different from his peers as he gets older. His brothers are getting more embarrassed by his behaviour in public. So I thought if he was wearing a lanyard people would know he was disabled rather than think he was just extremely weird.

The actual Lanyards are free at supermarkets - we just ask for them at Sainsbury's customer services (they need replacing every so often as they get chewed).

We got a personalised card from hdsunflower.com which was really useful as you can choose which are the most important symbols to display to highlight the needs your child is most likely to need other people to know about, and you get some text lines too. The cost is about £10 per card including shipping. They come with a sunflower pinbadge too.

Have you come across the charity Sibs for support for his siblings? https://www.sibs.org.uk/

My friend made her own card for her DS's lanyard (she wears it as he wouldn't tolerate it), I'm not sure anyone particularly reads it but it helps her to have something she can show to people if they feel the need to step in and challenge her son's behaviour

Really useful in an airport but otherwise we don’t bother. You do need to deal with the other children feeling embarrassed by their siblings disability though. Ask school to help they have access to some great resources and it’s excellent fodder for assemblies.

Sainsburys customer services gave me three for my adult sibling, we used it for travelling. Resulting in Improved customer service from staff and understanding from the public. She agreed to wear it after i explained the purpose. It also helped me and thats ok too.

We find it v useful for travel - tube, train/eurostar, airport, but also for carrying cards if we're at an attraction where there are accommodations, like Universal/Disney. On travel, we have often found ourselves being ushered into priority lines or quiet waiting areas just on the basis of a member of staff clocking the lanyard on our way through security. We got the Nimbus card to go in it as it's widely recognised. I have them for both my kids, both autistic, the older wouldn't go near a sunflower lanyard if you paid her but the other is probably much more like your son - she's proud and she wants to meet more people like her, so she'll wear it on and off depending on the situation.

I bought DD's from the original sunflower lanyard shop, a few years ago. She is AuDHD.

https://hdsunflower.com/uk/

They are a recognisable symbol in a lot of places. I use one myself if I am travelling because I use a stick and am slow getting on and off of trains etc.

I got my mum one for her hearing loss and she can pick up the card and wave it at people when they don't realise that she can't hear them, so that is useful.

I bought one from Hidden Disabilities - https://hdsunflower.com/uk

There's no legal requirement for companies to recognise sunflower lanyards or behave differently around your child, but most large organisations do formally recognise that wearers do need additional assistance. They can be helpful in public situations like train/bus/plane travel, or when interacting with staff in other situations. I got a card that states DS's main disability, but then made my own hearing impaired card, so it used the exact wording he wanted to use to explain his hearing needs, if anyone asked.

They aren't 'officially recognised' anyway. They're no different really to a baby on board badge, just an outward indication that a person has special needs, in the hope that people will give extra consideration.

Ikwym, but y10 is only 14-15.

Plenty of 15 year olds would want nothing to do with a younger sibling anyway, whether they had additional needs or not. Families can be inherently embarrassing to kids that age.

Good idea for therapy and support for the siblings - if they want it. But Id be wary of thrusting inappropriate responsibility onto them. If they're embarrassed, they're embarrassed 🤷‍♀️ Giving them the message that they shouldnt be is just shaming them for having normal teen emotions.

My DD has one we picked up at the airport a couple of years ago, she just has her AirPods attached to it and a toy key ring thing, no card. Not sure you need one unless your DC might be a flight risk and it has your details on it?

I ordered a lanyard and a badge saying I need a seat (or words to that effect) for use on public transport, particularly when it's likely to be busy, as I am slow, use a stick and need a seat. It has card with it on which you can add as much or little information as you like. I've found that people have responded well and offered help if needed!

My child just has the sunflower lanyard with no card and some fidget toys attached as I think that’s what most people recognise anyway and no one needs to be that close to my child to be able to read a card on a lanyard.

Brief thought. I have a sunflower lanyard with a card on the end for the occasional times I'm out and about without my power chair

What is much more useful to me is the elastic sunflower armband from British Dressage, which is a safe way for horse riders to do the same thing without the possibility of strangling oneself. Just realised that would be good for kids too, say at soft play, so thought would mention here

Stickman Communications has some great options. https://www.stickmancommunications.co.uk/product-page/autism-disclosure-card

So you want him to wear a label that says he’s disabled?!?! I’m sorry but if someone who doesn’t know you and him sees his behaviour in a shop they don’t deserve to know any information about him!! None of their business!! Also frankly unless you are at an airport or somewhere where you actually think need a lanyard then no h doesn’t need a label on telling all
and sundry his issues! Most people nowadays understand and know there are disabilities and don’t always assume a child is just naughty and if they do WHO CARES?!?!🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️ you don’t know them!! What they think doesn’t matter!! You need to grow an extra hard shell of I don’t give a fuck! I say this as the mum of 3 children with disabilities and one with severe PDA who I used to be like you with initially and then I got sick of explaining all the time and thought no fuck it why should I!! What have my child’s disabilities got to do with anyone else who at the end of the day dont matter to me or my family?!!

To be honest, this thread is the first time I have ever even heard of them.

Perhaps I live under a rock - but I do have dc in schools and generally mix in the world, so don't assume everyone will recognise what is intended by it. I probably would have thought it was a staff lanyard for someone with a job at a garden centre.

I can't see there is any harm in it, but it may not be meaningful to as many people as you hope.

Because they think they’ll get special treatment, like going to the front of the queue,
it’s disgusting to think people buy them from the internet.
I’ve been issued a radar key from my Dr, and people can buy them now from the internet just so they can use disabled toilets without having to queue

In our experience knowledge is good among staff at airports, theme parks, sporting venues etc, and it's part of annual refresher training at DD's supermarket job. Quite a few staff wear them too.

I can't speak for the public in general but in my world, the staff we come across doing public facing roles usually do know.

Yes, I have to admit I don't work in any of those roles, and perhaps if I did, it would have been brought to my attention.

But I have not seen any at any of my dc's schools.

They di’t really mean any thi except that you are a sunflower… needy. Won’t change much in life.

I would just write “be kind” in huge letters on the card

i would be very uncomfortable giving total strangers information on my child’s health. Neurodivergent people can be vunerable and be prayed on.

the colourful lanyard should be enough

Is it for staff or the general public? I have never heard of this and I wouldn't know what it meant or what I'm meant to do with the information.

The average layman doesn’t understand anything except sunflowers = disability. So don’t get bogged down in details if you just need randoms to know he’s behaving differently due to disability.

Brief comment, I wouldn't look at the card (unless the person physically showed me) because that feels incredibly intrusive and nosy on my part.

Doctors issue radar keys? Who knew.

I think a lot of places are clamping hard on whether or not they offer ‘access’ to people. The nimbus card is being used by more and more venues and without the evidence on it they won’t budge on carer tickets for free or letting you skip a queue. I have had one for quite a few years but I am finding I need it far more then I used to as simply believing an access requirement doesn’t happen anymore due to the absolute piss takers. I don't really think a lanyard with flowers on it is enough to make a staff member single you out and offer assistance in the vast majority of places anymore. That said I am aware airports really do take them seriously.