What’s something you dislike in other people that you secretly know is because it’s something you dislike about yourself?

[Seymorbutts]

Someone said to me recently, “the traits you hate in other people are usually the things that reflect your own insecurities”. I thought this was really accurate and realised a lot of the things I dislike in other people are things I subconsciously dislike about myself or my own upbringing. For example I don’t have a lot of time for shy people (adults) I think cos I’m insecure about being a bit shy myself, I sometimes think people with strong regional accents must be uneducated cos I’m insecure about my own strong Northern accent (especially as I live in London) and think I sound uneducated. And there’s other stuff that really makes me cringe like people going to the supermarket in PJs, going to the same resort in Spain on holiday every year, being unnecessarily loud in public. All these things are things my very working class family did growing up and, much as I love my family, as I grew up I started to see them as uncultured and embarrassing. So I probably judge people with similar behaviour more than others cos it triggers something about my own upbringing. I’m wondering what people dislike/judge/makes you cringe in others that you secretly know is something you’re a bit ashamed of in yourself?

People who always think they are right, when in fact I am always right.

I dislike traits in others that would have got me smacked as a child. What would it say about me in terms of reflection?

I think this thread is going to have limited value if people who answer and post honestly receive such hostile comments. It would have been possible to say all this without being unpleasant.

“incredibly entitled” is a description that makes no sense.

What kind of traits?

it makes sense that if you want to do them and you weren’t allowed then you’ve suppressed them and when you see others able to display them it irks you - who knows 🤷🏻‍♀️

I think you have to treat it as a general rule - when someone
pisses you off there is a reason
and you will know yourself more than anyone else

I really dislike vanity. I often wish that I could look better

I hate people who pretend to be self effacing while managing to actually be a show off or a bit flash.

me

I agree. This thread should be about admitting your A hole traits free of judgement! Traits that you’d never admit you have to anyone in your real life. What’s an anonymous internet forum for if not for that?!

I regularly steal small, expensive things from the self service checkouts at supermarkets, yet look down on shoplifters. We’re all hypocrites in some form!

Well she is behaving in a way that suggests she has a very entitled mindset. She feels entitled to jump the queue and has used some very flawed logic to justify doing so. If you are saying that entitled as a descriptor is bandied around too readily without any real meaning, then I completely agree with you. I get annoyed when people talk in very general terms about supposedly privileged people like public schoolboys for example, as being entitled. Entitled to what exactly, and from whom? It's pretty meaningless without context.

But in this case I stand by it. She feels entitled to push past other people who have been waiting longer and more patiently in a queue than her, then ludicrously, she attempts to justify it on the basis that 'first come, first served isn't always fair' and she had to get the bus whereas other people probably have a car and live closer.😂

She has literally no idea about other people's journeys. She's spinning herself a convenient narrative that allows her to behave as selfishly as she likes, without guilt or shame. This sort of thing is pretty much the definition of a narcissist. Another word which is frequently overused and misdirected, but I stand by it here as well.

You do what?? That's pretty bad - that's not being hypocritical, that's just being a thief.

Snobbery.

Don't like attention seekers - I recognise the moves from myself- not an attractive trait

@Seymorbutts it sounds like you’re carrying so much internalised loathing. That seems to happen to a lot of people who move to London particularly. I’ve noticed similar from school friends who emigrated young, but not so much from those who moved to other places, including big cities on a par with London. They celebrate their own roots, and take more pride in the places they come from, their accents etc, There seems to be something particularly toxic in the culture in London.

People who over share,I was guilty of it and cringe now because it’s so boring for people.
I avoid people from a time when I had verbal diarrhea, I am mortified.

*it’s a learned behaviour from my mother. She is a taker, I’ve never heard her pay anyone a compliment.

You seriously think people won’t judge you being a common thief because you admit to being a arsehole?
Grow up

Worrying too much about what others think of me is definitely one of the things I like least about myself, and Im definitely drawn to more confident, self-assured people.

People who pride themselves on calling a spade a spade when actually they are ignorant and rude . I have been guilty of this and didn't get it was wrong for a long time.

Selfishness! I deplore selfishness in others and do my absolute best to be (and appear) as selfless as possible but I know that inside I am very selfish, and constantly I am battling instincts all the time to do things that further me and my own well being, rather than thinking of others.

Apart from my daughter - it's instinctive to me to put her needs above my own. And my dad when he was dying. But everyone else it takes an absolute effort of will to do so.

I don’t care if people judge me cos you’re all strangers on an anonymous internet forum. That was kind of the point 🙄

As IF most of the people on this thread have never stolen anything from a supermarket self checkout 🤣 that’s the whole point of using the self service!

Not really. You kind of moved the goalposts by announcing you regularly steal from shops.

This is actually an intresting thread. Never really thought about it .
I will though for self reflection reasons

No it's not.

You were doing so well until that.

In your head, maybe,

Road rage.

It pains me to say as, at times, I used to hate being in the car with my dad when I was younger and swore I wouldn’t be the same.

In my defense, I do recognise and try to make a conscience effort to stop- although I swear people are out to see me fail!!

Yes, I can't stand people who procrastinate but I've come to realise I'm a bit of a procrastinator myself. Also people who can't chat and do small talk, I'm useless at it and can't talk about myself very well. I love having freinds who can chat about things going on in their lives, I don't meam drone on endlessly, but just tell a story about a thing they did or are doing. I love sitting and listening to an interesting chatter