Toddler awake for hours overnight, don't know what to do any more

[Tuinton]

My 20 month old has no issues going to bed at all, settles by himself around 7.30 and sleeps a decent chunk. He naps around 90 minutes and I always wake him by 2. He has previously slept through really well. However for about the past month he's been waking between 1 and 3 and remaining awake for 1+ hours. He woke at 3am this morning and it's nearly 6am and he's only just gone back to sleep. I'm at my wits end. I've tried longer naps, shorter naps, earlier bedtimes, later bedtimes. He has a dark room, he has white noise, he's eating plenty, he's warm enough, I've given meds in case it's teething related, he has a comforter and water. If I try to bring him in bed with us he gets hysterical. Most of the advice I can find for this age relates to bedtime battles rather than overnight wakes which isn't relevant to us as we don't ever have an issue at bedtime.

I'm really at the end of my tether from lack of sleep and don't know what to do any more.

I remember this stage. Sheer hell. 😫

We got a gro egg night light to check the temp of his bedroom and he could see the light at the other end of his bedroom if he awoke.
He had teeth coming through (Calpol used) and was constantly bunged up and sniffly.
I suffer with hayfever, so bought him a little humidifier (amazon) and gave him baby antihistamine from Boots to help him breathe better, and it was a game changer! 😇
I hope it gets better @Tuinton 💐

Isn't anyone else concerned that a 20 month old is not taking milk - neither cow's milk nor formula? (When mine were young, about 100 years ago, we were advised to not give cow's milk until 24 months, but encouraged to keep up the formula/follow on). I have consulted Dr Google and discovered that the advice has changed, which is fine, however the NHS does recommend 12-14 oz of cow's or plant based milk for a child of this age. I wonder whether the waking is something to do with the fat content of LO's diet - OP says that he eats well, but maybe he is still missing the calories provided by milk to fuel growth spurts? I don't know, but it is a possibility. Maybe full fat yoghurt before bed, or even when he wakes?

Have you read the multiple posts in which I state he has huge amounts of non milk diary every day, including two helpings of full fat greek yoghurt and loads of cheese?

The NHS is very clear that after 12 months they don't need milk as a drink if they are having enough dairy.

This child eats more than my 10 year old does!

In any case he's now slept through for three nights in a row.

Try overhauling the bedtime routine?
It might be that he's a bit too stimulated before bed and could do with a bit of proprioceptive play (rough and tumble, lifting heavy things etc.), slower, longer wind-down before sleep. Perhaps switch to a floor bed so you can lie with him while he goes to sleep?
If I'm stressed when I go to sleep I will wake up in the night and struggle to get back to sleep - children are the same.

Also - when I had a spare of early rises with my now 3 year old I spoke to https://www.instagram.com/secondstartotheright_sleep?igsh=MXVtbzQzdjJ4cW0zcA==
She has some great tips on split nights and bedtime routines and will do a one-off consultation.

Yes, of course I did. I also saw the advice about provide alternative dairy, which I have no problem with. The thing is, it is easier to get that fat content into a toddler to fuel a child's overnight growth from milk at bedtime/when waking at night. As adults, we tend to concentrate our eating into 8 hours or so - newborns need a fairly even spread over 24 hours. A toddler probably needs that full fat greek yogurt (an excellent milk substitute btw) at bedtime/wake up time. Maybe a dairy heavy supper might help stop the waking?

Btw, if I seem critical it is absolutely not intended. I know how difficult life can be with small children, especially when we are surrounded by smug parents who have perfect children. It is hard and I sympathise, but sometimes thinking outside the box gives the best solutions to knotty problems.

He is no longer waking. I don't think "have you tried feeding him more" is thinking outside the box, no offence 😂

When were yours young?
20 years ago the advice was no follow on, just breast/formula til 12 months.
35 years ago if was only formula until 6 months then on to cow's milk.

The NHS advice for the last couple of decades has been 12oz/350ml of milk OR two servings of dairy based food after 12 months.

Did you change anything?

We had a double bed for our children and when they were unsettled we would get in beside them. My youngest was a poor sleeper after breaking his arm at 2 and one of us slept beside him for weeks . Does he settle when you’re there ? Some children just need you there with them.

They are now in their 30s.

You definitely weren't supposed to give formula to age 2, not in the UK anyway.
In the 80s it was no cow's milk before 6 months, by the 2000s it was no cow's milk before 12 months.

And follow on has never been a recommendation.

Nope! Think just one of those things tbh. Maybe it was teeth. Who knows.

Join FB group the beyond sleep training project. For great gentle peer support regarding sleep. With no tears.
sounds like your child has had a drop in sleep needs as is natural when children grow up, and is having split nights. You may be offering too much sleep in 24 hours.
each little change you make will take a few weeks to settle into. My third boy is this age. I just have him sleep with me so I don’t have to get up and he breastfeeds back to sleep.
we did have split nights previously coinciding with teeth and an overall drop in sleep needs. Tough going.

Maybe he has reflux? Does he have a pillow?

think about whether he is eating something on those days that are the worst?

He's all good now guys

Don’t curse it 😂