What is an experience you never want to experience again in your lifetime?

[sooo4455]

The most stressful time in my life started about 7 years ago and went on for 2 years and my mental health took an absolute battering and im still not over it. And now im super paranoid about it happening again.

I had bedbugs and a rat problem under the bath at the same time and pest control were useless.
i had a toddler at the time and their was 7 of us and I was advise to put everything we owned (twice) in the garden while they tried to get the bedbugs under control. I had to wash every soft furnishing and beds, draws, wardrobes had to be emptied and placed outside in bags in the sun. Only thing that was allowed in the house was furniture. I had postnatal depression at the time and I just remember sitting in the garden with everything we owned (twice). With the rats they were running around under the bath and were huge. My bathroom is downstairs and they’d chewed from the outside in, the smell was not normal and the noise all day from them scurrying around 🤮
It finally got resolved after 2 years but at that point I was shot to bits. I don’t think people realise how traumatic it is the live with a bedbugs. I’m so paranoid about getting them again I try and stay away from public transport and hotels or I will research the shit out of them before booking and even then I’m hyper vigilant and can’t sleep.

What is something you never want to go though again?

C section.
Addiction.

Sub-fertility. I've spent 2.5 years TTC, with two ectopics, emergency surgery, three chemical pregnancies and currently still mid IVF transfer cycles without success yet.

If I am blessed enough for this to work, so we can be parents, I will be greatful every single day that I don't have to live in this hell anymore.

My Mum dying when I was 16.
The two years that followed.

Nursing my dad with dementia for two years. It took his speech and ability to move in the end but he still knew what was happening around him and to him. The care home trying to kick him out whilst he was receiving end of life care because of medication changes. All whilst experiencing a miscarriage and having to give birth to a baby we’d seen moving on the scan only two weeks before. Finding out I’m pregnant again the same day I had to tell my dad he needed to go into a care home. Experiencing heavy bleeding throughout the second pregnancy due to a haematoma, having severe hyperemesis throughout the pregnancy, moving house 34 weeks pregnant due to mortgage going up and not being able to afford it anymore, closing our business down due to no longer making a profit, Sat with my dad whilst he passed away 6 weeks before I gave birth (the same week I moved house). Dealing with my son with autism who had a chest infection when my second was born. Second baby having a dairy allergy and screaming 24/7 for the first 4 weeks of her life until she was diagnosed by the paediatrician. We had about an hours sleep a night for 4 weeks. I ended up having a breakdown 3 weeks after she was born and was diagnosed with post natal depression and anxiety. It’s 5 months since and I’m fighting my way out of it . I never want to experience those 18 months again

A lumbar puncture - an emergency - with no anaesthetic.
A root canal - long story - with no anaesthetic.

Never had babies but the second one - I hear you.

Not lighthearted. The most horrific time whilst also being bullied. Still haunts me today. I hate those abusive pe teachers x

My teenage dd attempting suicide by an overdose of pills, and now 3 years on still having massive mental health issues.
My Mum fading away with dementia and asking me who I am.
My Dad dying.
A very toxic workplace, in the NHS where you’d hope people would be nice to each other.
Miscarriage.

I think yabu. Your personal experience of something can be peaceful whilst aknowledging the same circumstances can be hard for someone else. It is not necessary to feel everyones pain all at once. How would we even survive as a collective if we were all miserable at the same time?! Thats why we take turns. The ones who are ok, can keep it going for those who are not.

Sending you all my strength. This is also my never want to go through again as I’ve been through the same with my adult child. Thankfully they were sectioned and got help but the trauma and heartbreak of it all (and finding them a minute away from dying) is indescribable. Plus the ongoing fear, and hyper vigilance is exhausting.

I work in MH which helped me to navigate and get my son help, if there’s anything I can do to help or advise you, or if you just want to talk to someone who gets it, please send me a PM.

Blunt

finding my husband who had hung his self in our home

even 15yrs on I still can’t look at hanging scenes on tv - handmaids tale was a lot of averting eyes

Would it be so nice if we could share a pot of tea. Sit around and talk about this stuff in real life? Just women comforting, consoling and being there for each other?

I find in real life that so many people just don’t know how to handle others’ trauma, and that’s ok because it’s hard to know what to say. But I dream of a women’s circle like you say. Tea, love and solidarity.

I was alone in the house late evening. Two masked men kicked in my door, beat me up demanding money. I dont keep cash in the house so they got nothing. Im the only house in the street without a posh car outside. Police said it was probably a case of mistaken identity. I still suffer flashbacks, panic attacks and PTSD. If thoughts could kill they would die in agony.

Being a nurse at the initial stages of the covid pandemic. It was absolutely horrendous - managers and many GPs locked themselves in offices and made the District Nurses pick up the mess; go into care homes, tell family that their relatives had died, help staff whilst still trying to manage a regular caseload of people that didn’t want to see you, dealing with palliative patients who should have been in hospices but weren’t allowed, palliative nurses and doctors refusing to see them. They gave us no PPE - we were initially told it wasn’t required but later found out they just didn’t have enough. It was really, really bad and showed a lot of people’s true colours.

💐💐💐 No words, just sending love xx

Some of the posts on here are heartbreaking. To all of you who've lost children I'm so sorry. Ive never experienced anything that comes close to that.

Experiences I'll happily never have again: Listening out for DF footsteps, and trying to gauge his mood and sobriety from them. The sheer terror when he'd stagger into my room at night. Being assaulted by my DM when my first baby was a few months old.

So sorry you are having to go through this. I found it absolutely brutal, and had every side effect going, including being plunged straight into an early menopause which has had a drastic effect since. I am however 20 years cancer free as of this year, so for that I am grateful. Sending love and strength to you for your ongoing treatment. Xx

Very true. It's awful how many people are carrying very heavy loads and just have to carry on with life.

Wow, congrats on the 20 years. I am early 30s and feel I am also being plunged into early meno. With two very young kids. Thank you for the support and strength. Well done to you.

How absolutely dreadful. There really aren't adequate words of consolation for some of this.

My Dad dying from cancer at home with practically no input from the hospice or the district team. My disabled Mum who was a HCA shouldered all his care. I supported her but she would get very stressed if I tried to do anything more than what she told me too. He died on my birthday.

Concurrently we had a rat infestation in the house. I am not squeamish, but it was horrendous. It was a like a Tom and Jerry episode where the whole house is shredded in pursuit of the mouse or rat in our case.

A week after my dad died. My partner nearly died from anaphalayxis. With all the shite going on. I bought granola with 1% of something he is allergic to which is is allergic too. So I don't think that is something he wants to repeat and neither do I.

I also never want to repeat the 7 long years I spent with my rapist, violent, mind fucking ex.

Life is as good as it can be now without my lovely Dad. Reading this thread you never have any idea what loads everyone walking past you in the street are carrying.

Shedding cunts! Love it. I have been doing this without the correct terminology.

Hyperemesis Gravidarum

Same here!! The pain

My 5 yr old daughter passing away.