Have you had a happy life

[ElvisGrace]

On balance would you say, more good than bad?

Overall, yes definitely. There's been plenty of dramas and some heartache along the way though. Lost my Father much too young and my lovely DB, too. I lost the first year of DD's life to severe PND and have battled breast cancer.

But I'm very happily married to a man who makes me feel very loved and makes me laugh every day. I have a really strong, lovely relationship with both our adult DDs and a close knit group of girlfriends.

We inadvertently ended up rather wealthy a few years ago, so I immediately retired and spend my days being a complete hedonist.

I am incredibly fortunate and I never, ever take it for granted.

A mixture. Following an horrific illness my dad died in my early teens. I’m a naturally anxious person and our family were quite repressed about it all. I’m depressive and my mum fell very ill in my 20s which I spent the early part of caring for her. She survived but my mental state was on the skids by the time I had my own dc and I am now permanently on ADs and in long term therapy which has been hard work but so beneficial. DH is very unwell and won’t live long now either.
But in my late 40s I’ve had the very best of luck too. My DC are lovely young people, I love where I live and I have a few good friends. My extended family on both sides are great. My job can be hideous but it’s steady and safe from redundancy and overall ok. Ups and downs.
Great thread 💚

It’s usual on MN for the OP to go first …

It's been a roller coaster but after a pretty miserable childhood and horrible abusive first marriage, I am happier than most people I know. My kids( all grown up), grandkids and current partner are wonderful. I take zero shit from anyone and am happier than I've ever been. I have good friends and prioritise my own interests. I've had some really bad patches including health problems of my nearest and dearest but resilience built up over the years has got me through

Usually I would say yes. Up to this Christmas.

Things started to go downhill and they've not really been good since.

No, not really. I’ve had happy times, but physical and mental health problems make everything so tiring and complicated.

If I were to die tomorrow I would think I had a wonderful life full of love and not too many hardships.

I really enjoyed this thread it was interesting hearing about people’s lives. Some people are sadly finding life difficult.

Me too it puts a lot of things into perspective

I would say no, on balance. A few fleeting moments of happiness but generally struggle and unhappiness. I don't really see the point of it all, if I'm honest 🤷‍♀️

Yes but I don't think I've appreciated or enjoyed it as much as I should. Two adult kids I adore, a thirty year marriage that has weathered the storm - not perfect, but we still enjoy each others company, a successful career that is well renumerated but has taken its toll on my physical and mental health. I have had a few health issues that are a pain but don't stop me in daily life. But I do spend a lot of time worrying and thinking about how I need to improve things. For what? Why can't I enjoy what I have and consider that I really have had a blessed life?

Yes, on balance I have a happy life. I had a good childhood with a family who loved me and a steady early- mid teenage experience that was mostly uneventful in a good way.

My late teens to mid 20s were good in some ways - I met DH, got married, finished uni, got a good job etc, but they were very much overruled by crippling anxiety and mental health issues (which, in hindsight I am fairly certain may have been partly due to undiagnosed neurodivergence - it's still not diagnosed but that's because I haven't sought it...)

I was worried when I had ds that my mental health would plummet after being manageable for a few years but he's been a wonderful tonic and I would now say I am a person with anxiety that's mostly under control rather than the woman who was never not having a panic attack (genuinely).

I've much preferred my 30s to my 20s and think it's because I'm unapologetically me, and ok with that. I'm looking forward to my 40s when they come in a few years!
I'm still with DH and we are still very much in love - it's a comfortable, "you're my forever person and why would we ever even think about what if we broke up?" love.

D's is wonderful, albeit with his own needs (ADHD) which can be challenging, but he's amazing, funny, ridiculously clever and the child I was meant to have.

We have a lovely house and I'm senior in my career and finally love what I do.

Yes, more good than bad. I'm 48 and have thus far escaped anything awful happening - still have both my parents. Have had a couple of very stressful years as a kid and an adult, but they all passed and things improved.

Very happy and privileged and I feel grateful every single day

No, although I'm a happy person by nature. I had a very nasty abusive childhood then married a selfish man (now divorced). But over my 50 years I've had a lot of happy times with friends, have got deep enjoyment from music, books and comedy and contentment on my own. Plus the mixed joy of having children.

The second half of my life is going to be much better than the first, I'm completely certain.

Yes, I was very poor as a child and in my early childhood my dad was an alcoholic. Not the violent type thank god, just irresponsible. At the time though I perceived him as fun, so I guess as far as alcoholic dads go that’s the best you can get.

When him and my mum got divorced I was just happy that I didn’t have to live in a house with resentment anymore.

Being poor was shit but there’s two upsides: 1) now I’m just happy I’m not poor. The fact I can afford to feed us, dress us, and put the heating on means I’m content. Anything else is a bonus.
2) I am very proud of all the work I’ve put in and I have a great sense of achievement just from the fact I don’t have to live in a shithole.

All in all it’s been good, but I am very resilient and I think I’ve got a pretty low bar 😂.

I feel like it bas been a bit of a roller coaster.
I manage to stay positive. I had therapy for post natal depression and the pshychologist told me 'it's amazing you turned out as well as you did, you should be proud' and I do hang onto that.
I just try to do my best every day, I like to mentally place myself in order of fortune in the world population.. that always helps me as when I think about that in depth then I come out near the top in many ways. It helps me to do that excercise and then when I think abput it like that I can't really complain.

Yeah, I hear you. Sorry you're there, too.

No, it’s not been a good life. I’m in a lot of pain and I’m so fucking tired and I’m not suicidal at all, but I wouldn’t be sad for it to be done so I can see my grandparents again - I miss them every day and holidays are the very worst. It is hilarious, but after a decade of therapy, I started with a new therapist and I’ve found her idea very interesting (can’t say how it’ll work - I’m just starting) - count your blessings, yes, but write down your worries. When they’re all on a piece of paper like that, you can let them go much more easily, or really SEE which of them you can do something about and which you’re going to have to either let go or go crazy.

Due to CPTSD, I often have irrational worries or, say there’s a stressful situation I can do something about on Wednesday - I don’t just write “handle X” on Wednesday in my planner. I actively worry about X UNTIL Wednesday. Worrying about things I can’t change, or things that will never happen, has sucked up so much of my life. I understand it’s normal after the amount of bad stuff (in my childhood, my personal life, and with my health), but it’s exhausting and I want to stop doing it.

Also, so many people who have mentioned rough lives say that at least they have their children. I would have loved to have a child, but it didn’t work out that way (period disappeared for a decade and just returned last week, which had been a head fuck, and it would be several years of hard graft I might not even be capable of before my body could handle pregnancy.) I’m hoping I’ll be able to save up enough that we can foster older children, who really need someone, in a few years.

Absolutely. And I sometimes take that for granted, but am making a very conscious effort not to. Same with moaning about others…like all of us, other people will irritate or annoy me. But I know it’s not out of malice so am really trying to follow ‘if I’ve got nothing nice to say then don’t say anything’ - not always easy! But I’m very lucky to have the people I do in my life.

Had a wonderful childhood with my mum, just me and her. Then met my husband after leaving school and still together and married 21 years later. Have 2 children who are a joy the majority of the time and a job I love. Have suffered low points and losses but feel lucky for the happiness we've experienced so far 😊

Well I'd say that 80% off my life is happy but the 20% is more shit than most others'.

@DreamingOfGeneHunt You should be incredibly proud of yourself. I wish you and your DD much happiness for the rest of your days🥰

Yes I have a wonderful life that I am grateful for every day, I’ve had losses and hardships but I am very loved and the good outweighs the bad - I try to see the silver linings where I can and have a lovely dh who I enjoy spending my time with

No my life has been very difficult so far (40s). Not happy at all.