Have you had a happy life

[ElvisGrace]

On balance would you say, more good than bad?

Yes and no

I'm neurodiverse and have some chronic health issues for decades so whilst I've always lived in a nice area, surrounded by lovely people and have not had many actual physical hardships I've found living as a human being simply exhausting and haven't always felt great within my body so it's been a bit like dragging a ball and chain through life.

What a nice post. It’s lovely to hear someone stand back, look at their life, and be excited by the new phase starting.

I feel blessed to be a woman now and to have an interesting job and lovely friends and family. But I think being alive is bad overall for everyone - too much of a risk to linger in safely. I will be glad when it's over (assuming my sweet oblivion theory is true!).

From the outside looking in I think you could say I've had an unhappy life and a happy one.

I've reached the age of 63 without losing a close friend, a child, a sibling. No drastic circumstances like homelessness or addiction. I've never lived in poverty or a war zone. No serious illness for me, my spouse, my children. No severe mental illness to cope with in those I love most. I think this probably puts me in the top 5% of the global population for luck and good blessings, and I remember this each day.

The fact that I had a ropey childhood and ropey parents doesn't really come into it when you look at it globally.

I had a happy childhood but a tricky adolescence. I lost my parents young and had to grow up very fast, so I was a middle aged teenager and then became a teenager in my twenties. My thirties were mostly very lonely as my friends coupled up and had families. I then met DH in my late thirties and had two children, my first at 40 and my second a couple of years later. I now have my childhood back but as an adult.

Life isn’t perfect; I’m in the trenches with little children and I really don’t enjoy my job (although being part time helps) but for the most part I am very fortunate.

Yes, very happy.
I had a lovely childhood, had a child aged 17 and suffered from terrible anxiety. 2 long term relationships (first one being with my DC dad, 2nd one being with DC dad) both fizzled out. I brought up to 2 kids who are fantastic. Great job which i loved from 22 years old to 52 years old and a degree paid for by employers - was diagnosed with MS and epilepsy.

Had a stroke, got ill health retirement and now spend the days going to the gym waiting 15 years for everyone else to retire.

I'm full of resilience and I've had a happy life.

It has been a Pollock painting in parts of my teenager hood, Emin in my 20s and 30s and a Turner now in my 40s lots of light and romance. I hope my 50s will be like Rembrandt lots of depth, nuance and character

Good question. I had a pretty crap beginning. My dad was abusive to my mum so it wasn’t a happy home. I then had a boyfriend from the age of 17-24 who was absuive. I met my lovely DH and things got better, but I suffer from ocd and took a breakdown. I then had a very late miscarriage which I really struggled with. Mum is still with dad which is a constant worry but I’ve got my own wee family with DH and DC’s and a good job and nice happy home now. Hopefully by the end of my life it will be more good than bad!

Extremely happy. Had a great childhood, I have fantastic kids and friends and best of all, I married a wonderful man.

I’m hoping it continues, but I’m 53 so I know the best bits are behind me.

I'm also very much closer to my end than my beginning. It's been turbulent. My relationships have all been wrong: I didn't start therapy until my mid-forties, which is when I learned why they were all wrong and that it would've been better to have started in my teens. That said, therapy in 1970s UK was very different to the 2000s and might just have made me more miserable!

Despite being 'depressive' or, perhaps, because of it, I've always made a point of appreciating the good, the beautiful and the interesting wherever I can find it. I went looking for it, leading to some amazing adventures and enriching experiences. Many people I've known had strong ideas of what they wanted to achieve in life, feeling that they'd be happy when they were 'there'. I felt they were mad: there is no 'there', only the journey and they were wasting it.

Maybe they were right and I've been wrong. I am certainly not at the destination I'd hoped for - no kids, no partner, poor health and stuck in a place I don't like. But it's okay. I still find goodness, beauty and interest. I know I'm courageous and am proud to have helped make a real difference to the equality and opportunities of women. My final courageous act will be to bump myself off when my health starts the rapid decline; it's a few years off yet.

I'm very, very happy to have been born when and where I was, into a world that values peace as never before; that does its best to improve health, safety and education for everyone; that makes giant strides in science and discovery. I think Gen Z and Alpha will know a world of even greater hope and excitement. I'm kind of sorry I won't see it, yet not sorry life is finite.

It's so cheesy to say happiness is a choice - but it is, by and large. When I'm not happy I am mostly content to a greater or lesser degree. That is, I think, the real privilege.

None of mine have either, but I still think I've had a happy life. There have been bad times, but everyone has those, it's just part of life. I am blessed to have a roof over my head, even if I don't own it, I no longer have to go to work every day (hooray!), I can afford to feed myself and pay the bills, and I have pretty good health. I have no close family and while I have good friends I don't have a really close friend either, but I'm not lonely and mostly I am very happy with my lot.

Yes, definitely feel very lucky. Like most people I’ve had difficult times - DF died when I was 8, wasted years on a useless man, but generally I’ve had an easy, interesting life. At 63 and newly retired I feel so content and happy it worries me!

Yes. I’ve had lots of good times and experiences. I love my DH, have really nice DC and good family relationships.

There have been too many early deaths, I’ve had some unpleasant work situations but at 60 I look back and see the good.

No, but it's getting better. I have hopes of happiness in my later years.

No. Its been awful and I hope it's a short one.

Yes I have been very happy in my adult life. I am 60.

My childhood wasn't great but it wasn't really abusive just not as good as my adult life.

I'm worried because nothing bad had happened to me yet so I think it will be my turn soon.

Extremely fortunate to have been adopted by my wonderful adoptive parents, which made mh childhood pretty idyllic and very comfortably middle class.

I had a horrible start in life, nearly didn't make it, born three months prematurely and was weaned off heroin. My birth parents were both drug addicts, and my late birth mum had horrible parents who had associations with the Kray brothers. I'm so glad I had nothing to.do with her family.

My brain has been the bane of my life for the past decade after a horrible head injury and post concussion syndrome gave me an awful breakdown. I was then permanently injured by an off label antipsychotic prescribed for severe insomnia and anxiety after my head injury. It gave me a movement disorder called tardive dyskinesia, and it's safe to.say.that a lot of hard times mentally and physically over the past decade have very nearly broken me.

But for all the terrifying and terrible sad memories and times, my wonderful DC, DH and parents are the reassurance I have to feel extremely blessed and happy.

I had a disadvantaged start and experienced poverty and abuse and disability. But I'm late 40s and I'd say the second half of my life has been quite happy and charmed. Mainly since meeting DH, plus some financial success, good health and a happy family life. Some of it has been luck but the relationship and finances have been down to conscious decisions and work.

This is nice to hear its changed for the better

It's been difficult, mostly due to disability and chronic pain, but 2007-2020 were good. Since then, I'm hanging on. Again.

Yes, definitely happy. I prioritised doing the things I wanted when I was younger so that if I died young, I would have achieved my goals (not that my dead self would care!).

I've gone through difficult things as an adult: bereavement, abusive relationship, difficult sibling relationship etc but have overcome a lot - I feel resilient, especially when I curb my overthinking. I have people in my life who are not happy in themselves, which does make me grateful for my own outlook. I hope things continue easy as no one knows what the future holds.

Yes I have. First marriage was a mistake, second is great. Unable to have children and decided we were going to grab every opportunity that came our way and have had a fantastic life together. I will be 70 this year and looking forward to many more happy times.

Life is good😁

I was thinking this recently as I’m going through a very very difficult time and can see no end in sight. I said to myself could I say on my death bed “I’ve had a wonderful life” and the answer sadly, is categorically no.

Good question. Yes, very by any objective measure but I seem to spend most of my life worrying about nothing and feeling relief rather than happiness. I do have many happy times though and am in a particularly peaceful phase now, ds has moved out, elderly parents have died, dp is lovely and seems genuinely to like looking after me. I need to embrace the happiness like others on this thread.

Yes. Moving into the retirement phase I’ve been very lucky. I’m lucky to have been born intellectually bright and to have a pragmatic and largely emotionally stable character. I had a shit marriage, a disabled child, an abusive partner and brought up 3 kids myself with no financial support at all. But the good hugely outweighs the bad , I have wonderful friends, my mother is difficult but my brother is brilliant. I’ve had a stable well
paid career and I’m counting my blessings every day !