Have you had a happy life

[ElvisGrace]

On balance would you say, more good than bad?

Tricky question really. I had a great childhood and soe incredible experiences through my teen years, thanks to my mum for making it all happen. I've travelled a lot and had amazing times experiencing and living within other cultures. But I've spent all of my adult life feeling depressed, everything has been a struggle, I haven't achieved anything significant and all of my relationships have been abusive. I've had highs and lows but I am grateful for all the highs, my incredible children, my beautiful home and the holidays they've experienced. I just worry I won't give them a good enough life because I don't seem to ever feel truly happy within myself and I don't know how to change that.

Yes, I've felt happiness on most days of my life. I wake up in a good mood. I've experienced many tragedies and challenges, for sure -- lots of death and pain. But on balance, I'm loved and valued by my family and friends and I love them back. I like being in this brain and thinking these thoughts. I like walking in these hills under this sky and I feel so so lucky to be here. It's such a brief window we get.

I don’t think I have the knack for happiness. I mean, there have been bad things, and one ongoing awful situation (very ill sibling, whose needs have taken over the whole family). But looking from the outside I should be much happier than I am and have been. Overall I’ve had an unhappy life but suspect that would surprise people.

Yes, on balance. Emotionally neglectful and abusive childhood, and anxious adulthood, but I saw how anxiety turned into chronic depression in my parents and with the help of therapy and support groups I've worked hard to overcome the majority of it. I've been lucky to enjoy excellent physical health since leaving home and doing therapy.

I've travelled widely and enjoyably and had some great experiences. I've made good friends and sacked off people, including family members, who added negativity to my life. I have worked hard in my career to earn well enough for me to eat beyond my wildest childhood dreams and I enjoy my current job. I've also found hobbies in the last few years which I adore. I have a lovely pet and a lovely supportive partner.

Yes, in the main it's been more happy than not. There have only been three real downers that I can think of but as I'm 71 now, I think that's probably pretty good.

I had a decent working life, earned good money, I still have some family locally, long term friends some going back to the 70s that I see and am in touch with regularly, I have a nice house that I own, I have pretty good health considering I see so many people much younger than me with long term, quite serious health issues and I am financially very well off, I think I am anyway.

I don't have kids, long divorced and no longer have any pets, all in all, I don't have much to feel sad about, my life could have been so much worse.

Yes. I've been very lucky. Happy, stable childhood, decided what career I wanted when I was 12 and am still largely happy doing it 40 years later. Happily married, 2 great kids, great relationships with extended family. Live in a lovely place. Have hobbies I love. I have a few health issues, but they are manageable and not as bad as what some people have to deal with.

No - not really. Until recently.
The first 2/3 of my life were very difficult. Then I met my husband - he makes me very happy.

It has been reasonably good. I had a happy childhood, I’ve done a fair amount of travelling, have four lovely children who are all grown now, some good friends.

I didn’t do so well with my choice in partner (left us in debt and raising four children alone), career - had to work around children’s needs - or money. I’m still hoping to get one of my novels published too.

I am much happier as an adult than when I was a child, but like everything, life is still a work in progress! I have completed some of the goals that I aspired to when I was still at school (e.g. changing my name, moving out, moving far away, and I work in the industry that I wanted to), but I haven't visited any of the Scottish islands (I always wondered if I'd end up living on one!) or had children yet. Although I know that having children isn't all sunshine and roses, I'm looking forward to taking part in the world's greatest unregulated experiment, and seeing if I can do a good enough job to raise some lovely little ones in the countryside!

I don't do research style questions where the OP can't be bothered to put any effort into their own thread.

that makes me really happy 👍

And yet you felt compelled to answer 👌

Parts of it have been lovely.

Parts of it have been horrible. Awful childhood, alcoholic parent, poverty, I was groomed and trafficked into prostitution by an older man, I was homeless, an addict, alcoholic myself.

Dragged myself back up to a minimum wage job and have my daughter and a little flat, so I've been lucky.

My childhood was mixed. Largely stable but I was born into fairly unique (at that time) circumstances which affected my self esteem and presented emotional challenges that took until adulthood to fully overcome.

However, I have had good health, friends, stability, many positive life experiences, my children and now I feel very lucky on the whole, despite the sadness of losing my mum 3 years ago.

Yes, I've had a lovely life overall and I'm certain it all stems from having a happy and stable childhood. I had a health scare recently and I was reflecting on my life and there's not much I'd change if I could go back in time. The adults I know who are unhappy with their life all had dreadful childhoods.

My life has been fixed. But if it had been happy all the time I wouldn’t appreciate it. If you want to see the sunshine you need to feel the rain. Or something like that.

The scales tip in favour of unhappy so far but hoping to change that 🙏

I’ve had a life of hardship but fuckinghell it’s been a great life. One full of love, real achievement, gratitude, resilience and authenticity.

A life of leisure and pleasure isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be anyway.

I am now 37. I can truly say I’ve lived for me. I live on my own terms and answer to no one.

It's a very thought provoking question.

On paper, if I wrote down the bad on one side and the good on the other, I think it would veer more towards the bad.
In reality, I think I have gone through life mostly happy in spite of the bad.

So a quick answer is...more good. than bad; I feel blessed for what I have.

I’ve thought about this a lot recently because I was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer a year ago aged 44 and, if I’m honest, I probably have less than a year left. It came just months after my long-term partner left me. I was completely heartbroken but, in fact, he’d made me miserable for years. We were so incompatible. I missed out on having children because of him. Taken altogether, that sounds really bleak, but if I take him out of the equation, I’ve had an extraordinarily happy life. I was surrounded with love from a big family filled not just with my own parents and siblings but lots of aunts, uncles, cousins who are all, without exception, kind and loving and supportive. I think that foundation is the reason why I’ve always been so happy.
Not having children was a cause of sadness to me for a couple of years but I now see it as such a blessing - I don’t know how I’d cope with dying if I knew I was leaving young children behind. I’ve had a great career, lovely friends, and live in the place I’ve always dreamed of living. Even now, I wake up every day and feel I have been spectacularly fortunate. I’ve never been rich but I’ve had some incredible adventures. The only thing that keeps me awake at night is the sadness that my illness is causing my family.

Yes. I had kind caring parents and I have never had any crises that threaten me or my family. My daughter is (so far) my greatest achievement. Would I have liked a better job, more money etc? Yes but never got rich, never did try. I should have applied myself more but had easy jobs that paid enough. Just retired and life currently is lovely

On the whole, yes. However, I have had some very bad times - domestic abuse, lots of bullying and chronic illness. Also had a very disappointing career.

On the plus side, I have 2 DCs who have matured into
fantastic young adults and I have travelled and lived all over the world.

No.

I was emotionally abused growing up. Got bullied, dragged into situations in the family which didn't involve me. Got the blame for everything. Had no confidence. Had awful boyfriends. Abusive relationship with my child's father.

I'm still not 100% happy with my life but given my situation I am lucky as I could be in a worse position. My child's father walked away so our life had been calmer since him. The toxic family members I cut off. I live in a lovely home and I was extremely lucky on the area and location as its council so I didn't really have a choice. I'm grateful for what I have.

Largely yes. My husband and I have had a terribly hard year, but we’ve managed to get through what has been incredibly traumatic and sad.
I had a relatively happy childhood - divorced parents who both remarried, wonderful stepdad and Mum. My dad was a bit of a dud until I got older and we were able to understand each other better. I’ve lived through poverty as an adult, been a single parent, now happily married with a good job and financial security. I have two delightful children, and am thankful every day that we have a loving house, food and clean water, and that we live in a country that’s relatively safe.

Not really. Awful childhood, abusive relationships. Now dealing with an auto immune disease. But I’ve got my children who are healthy. Not sure id be here if it weren’t for them honestly.

I have learned to appreciate my life as I have got older - my younger self was never really content, I had bad hormonal mood swings and “comparison is the thief of joy”mentality. I now can see I lead a privileged life - I am happy with small pleasures and I DGAF so much about what other people think of me. I will never be rich but I have enough money to be comfortable, I now have an interesting job ( not very well paid but that’s ok) and I have my family, a few friends and pets. No longer do I need thinner thighs to make me happy!