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Original poster

Advice on first bras for a 10-year-old who still wears vests

53 replies

Advicefor10 · 04/04/2026 16:21

I know I should know this being her mother but I would really like some advice please. DD aged 10 still wears vests and has been telling me almost all girls in her class are wearing bras. I’m not sure what type to get. She is very flat chested and doesn’t even need one but so she doesn’t felt left out should I maybe buy her one? I know M and S does fittings is it worth making an appointment with them or is she too young? Sorry I have no one to ask for advice as I don’t have a mum and I don’t remember what I wore at her age, I believe I was still in vests.

I’ve been looking online but feel so confused what I should buy her.

OP posts:

viques · 05/04/2026 16:38

Stoneycold12 · 05/04/2026 10:19

The OP has said that her daughter is flat chested, so she clearly doesn't need a bra.

A crop top simply echoes a bra, the point is to support the breasts, so is designed to look as if the child is developing, ie growing into a woman.

A girl or woman with no breast tissue has nothing that needs support, so why wear on?

Of course girls who are developing breasts need support for comfort and a decent crop top can do this. The OP has said that her daughter does not need any support, so no practical need at all.

So why swap out vests with crop tops other than to make the child look like she does need one ie is experiencing puberty?

Show quote history

Because most of the other girls will be wearing something similar and will see vests as something childish (and yes, of course they are still children) . If it helps think of the crop top as a short vest, doing the same job but giving the child a bit of self esteem.

MonteStory · 05/04/2026 19:50

Stoneycold12 · 05/04/2026 10:19

The OP has said that her daughter is flat chested, so she clearly doesn't need a bra.

A crop top simply echoes a bra, the point is to support the breasts, so is designed to look as if the child is developing, ie growing into a woman.

A girl or woman with no breast tissue has nothing that needs support, so why wear on?

Of course girls who are developing breasts need support for comfort and a decent crop top can do this. The OP has said that her daughter does not need any support, so no practical need at all.

So why swap out vests with crop tops other than to make the child look like she does need one ie is experiencing puberty?

Show quote history

None of these are unreasonably points except that isn’t what you said. You said she should ‘enjoy being a child’ as if a 10 year old with breasts is not a child. A ten year old who wears a bra, whether she needs one or not, is a ten year old.

DyslexicPoster · 06/04/2026 13:51

My dd doesn't need a bra but I'm not going to to voice that. She knows what she is comfortable with re her body. She doesn't want her top going over her head doing cartwheels.

She wears wears cycling shorts under her school skirt. There is a valid reason she doesn't want people seeing her chest or pants that isn't coming from any message I have given to her. Child or not she would be wise to trust I her own feelings.

The more we push our views onto our dds about our hang ups it's going to be good for our girls. It's what they are comfortable with. They need to develop autonomy. Saying you've got no boob's like Sarah has, that's why she wears a bra is not good on any level.

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