Advice on first bras for a 10-year-old who still wears vests

[Advicefor10]

I know I should know this being her mother but I would really like some advice please. DD aged 10 still wears vests and has been telling me almost all girls in her class are wearing bras. I’m not sure what type to get. She is very flat chested and doesn’t even need one but so she doesn’t felt left out should I maybe buy her one? I know M and S does fittings is it worth making an appointment with them or is she too young? Sorry I have no one to ask for advice as I don’t have a mum and I don’t remember what I wore at her age, I believe I was still in vests.

I’ve been looking online but feel so confused what I should buy her.

Most shops do crop tops for young girls or a 'teen' range. Doesn't need to be expensive or fitted if she's not actually developing yet. Presumably she's in year 5 or 6 so they naturally stop wearing full vests. Your DD friends mums are a source of advice if you're not sure

If she doesn't have any visible breast growth then a crop top (as in bra style not a short tahirt!) is likely to be a good stepping stone. They sell those in age sizes in most supermarkets and aren't very expensive.

@Lightuptheroom thank you. I don’t feel able to ask DD’s friends mums as I’m not close to any of them. So is it like a crop top type I buy? I’ve seen some on next website.

Thank you. I’ve just seen some. Should I just buy this then instead of a fitting service? Yes she has no growth so any point getting fitted?

Bless you, just buy a couple and see what she thinks but I'd go for the crop top type first .

Thank you!

My 10 year old wears little crop tops just from primark.

Matalan do crop tops with separate sides so a bit bra looking.. Measure the chest size... Think they did 28 /30 /32 last time I got some.
And age ones 9/10 +11/12 etc..

@Easterbunnyishotandcross @Watchoutfortheslowaraf thank you so much!

thank you everyone! I was worried about posting lol! I’m so glad I did as I had no idea where to start from.

Is there anything else I need to know regarding as they growing up? She’s had a talk in school about periods and puberty so I don’t have to worry about that. Can anyone think of anything else I need to be doing or telling her?

I’d just show her the page on Next website and ask her which ones she likes. Presumably she’s seen other girls crop tops when they are getting changed so she’s going to have an idea what she wants.

I hope that you are supplementing the talk at school with talking to her yourself.

Take your cue from her, but she needs to know that you are there to talk about anything she is unsure about, even if she thinks they are stupid questions. Have you talked to her about sanitary protection? It might be best to have a choice of options available ready at home. Talk to her about what a period is like (ideally don't just draw on your own experience) and how she might manage it at school. Talk to her about hair growth and how she can choose to remove it if she wishes. She'll need to be aware that her body shape may change and she may grow out of clothes. She'll probably need to wash more and start using deodorant and maybe need to change her clothes more often.

This isn't a sit down and have a big talk type thing btw, but more of a introduce things as you go along.

Thank you for this. Good advice

My 13yr has been wearing these for the last year or so. They also sold them in black, grey and pale pink packs. They are effectively crop tops as they just pull on overhead, but they have very lighted padded foam inserts. This was important as normal crop tops are quite thin and once DD developed breast buds she needed some more coverage under t shirts, school shirts etc. They don’t look too grown up or like bras at all and she says they are v comfortable.

https://www.matalan.co.uk/p/childrens-clothing/2-pack-white-padded-crop-tops-8-13yrs/16439152/

I’d also recommend this book

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Whats-Happening-Girls-Facts-Life/dp/0746069952

and a Modibodi first period kit. DD didn’t start until 13 though but had friends who started at 10-11yrs

www.modibodi.co.uk/products/teen-first-period-kit-with-hipster-bikini-moderate-black?variant=42817016692790&redirect=disable&tw_source=google&tw_adid=&tw_campaign=21166036487&tw_kwdid=&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=21159197670&gbraid=0AAAAACWizWQEiK29ohyLRIuNSYkC4E8sa&gclid=Cj0KCQjw7cLOBhDmARIsAGsuA0nj0r6eqoFOxyAPP0BGWDiJpOWJU6moSYCRQ-v7my_QJntoACm32wUaAjErEALw_wcB

She's only 10 and has not started to develop breasts yet, so I don't think she needs anything other than a vest if it's cold and she needs another layer.

I didn't wearva bra till I was 14/15 - everyone on my class could see that I was clearly flat chested, so wearing a crop top or a bra wouldn't have fooled anyone.

She'll get there soon enough, childhood is so short, I think you should be encouraging her to just enjoy being a kid.

But youve talked to her too right?

I think it's more a case of wanting to fit in. A crop top looks a more like a bra than a vest does; she's not pretending she has breasts when she doesn't.

Does anyone else get nervous when a new poster comes on to talk about her pre-pubescent daughters breasts?

Whether the OP’s daughter is wearing a vest or a cropped top is not going to change how long she is a child for.

I think she should have choice over what underwear she chooses. She is the one wearing it.

You need to talk to her about it as well. Even with talks at school there may be things she doesn’t understand. You also will want to talk about sanitary products, period pants vs pads vs tampons etc

Yes- I’m very aware to stay vague with these kind of posts

Mine has been wearing a crop top with adjustable straps since she started puberty aged 10, because of soreness. She's 11 now and still happy with her crop tops. I don't plan on buying her a proper bra until she either needs one or would like one. 🤷🏼‍♀️

I doubt the other girls are wearing actual bras. They'll be crop tops.

I really dislike this idea that puberty is the end of childhood and therefore innocence/goodness. Puberty is generally seen as a very negative thing for girls and these views about ‘staying a child’ add to that.

I teach year 5/6, the odd 10/11 year old will have very obvious breast development - do they not get to be children? My experience is they begin wearing a bra for comfort and continue making dens and trading Pokémon.

Some of the girls will be wearing bras. Some will have started their periods.

Well said.

@Stoneycold12There is nothing wrong with wearing a crop top. And encouraging a poster to stop her ten year old from deciding on the type of underwear she wants to wear because childhood is so short is and because you, a person who doesn’t know anything about this child doesn’t think she needs a crop top is a strange thing to do.

Why would classmates think someone was ‘trying to fool them’ if they wore a crop top before they had breasts. It’s a completely bizarre thought process.