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Facebook Marketplace Cheeky F***ery stories.

90 replies

Conniebygaslight · 03/04/2026 15:12

I’m sure there have been numerous threads on this but thought I’d ask what audacious behaviour have you experienced on FB Marketplace?
Mine without exception is always when we’re offering something for free.
Advertised a number of kitchen cupboards FOC the other day. Woman turns up to collect, in a tiny car. DH told her they wouldn’t fit, she said that she’d need to make numerous trips. She had nobody to help her so DH had to break off from painting 3 times to load her car.
She just stood there and never said a word.😂

OP posts:
WormHoleInSpace · 03/04/2026 16:06

My db was selling a yaris front bumper, first they asked for it to be posted , he said no collection only ( obviously) so he came on a moter bike ! Db refused to sell it to him because he said he was 'only' going to be on the motorway for about 10 miles .

Shinyandnew1 · 03/04/2026 16:15

I saw someone post a ‘want’ on our local Facebook page years ago for a Woody toy with a string that said phrases as her daughter had lost hers. She wanted it in ‘impeccable condition’ as she was going to give it to them as a surprise present, she wanted it delivered to hers as she didn’t drive. More than one person suggested Argos might be the service she was looking for!

SirChenjins · 03/04/2026 16:15

We advertised 2 chest of drawers and 2 bedside cabinets as a set for collection. They were really nice ones, had cost a lot of money, and were in excellent condition. Lots of requests for them so I chose the first person who had replied. We moved them down to the hallway, the couple turned up, took one chest of drawers and bedside cabinet and said they couldn't fit both in their car so would be back shortly to collect the other set. No problem I said, see you soon. Several hours later - no sign of them. I messaged her to find out what was happening and she said they didn't need the other set. I said I had advertised them all together as the complete set and had lots of interest in them, but she refused to come and get the other set. Then started claiming that they were rubbish anyway and had fallen to bits when she moved them from her car. I messaged back to say that I would come and collect them if they weren't any good - and that was the last I heard of the CF.

YellowHatt · 03/04/2026 16:17

As it was kitchen cupboards was she not doing you a bit of a favour saving you a trip down the tip?

She would have been on loading them the other side so must have managed so he didn’t have to help her, unless he wanted them gone enough. (Or you could have helped her, but I’m assuming there’s a reason why you couldn’t.)

BurntBroccoli · 03/04/2026 16:36

It’s the ones specifying a certain colour of sofa that make me laugh! Usually with a “Must deliver” too!

FionnulaTheCooler · 03/04/2026 16:45

ChaToilLeam · 03/04/2026 15:20

I was giving away a chest of drawers once and specified the measurements very clearly, stating that anyone collecting with a car should check it would fit.

Well, the people who rocked up had a titchy car and we had a hell of a time getting it in, though somehow managed. There were 3 of them and one had to get home by bus because there wasn't space for him in the car after we put the back seat down.

Oh, and the usual chancers demanding items after you have reserved them for someone else "but I neeeeed it!" 🙄

Oh yes the "I need it" chancers. I was giving away a double bed frame as I needed rid of it before moving house and made it very clear that it was collection only as I only have a small car and it wouldn't fit. Cue a message from a woman telling me I had to deliver it to her, she's disabled and can't arrange collection. Sorry love, your nonexistent disability still won't make a double bed fit in a tiny hatchback.

Favouritefruits · 03/04/2026 16:56

I sold one of those huge hot wheels garages, the man came on a bike to pick it up! I
as soon as he got to the end of the driveway it broke to pieces. My son had to fix it for him and I ended up giving him a lift.

The weirdest one I’ve had come to collect came to pick up a tallboy, he was very pleasant but after he came in to carry it out he asked me where I come from, I said ‘town’ he said no what country I told him the UK he proceeded to tell me why I didn’t and was I Greek like him? It was bizarre as he just didn’t believe me 😂

DugnuttEyeBoogies · 03/04/2026 16:57

I do ok on FB selling but I just simply don’t reply to those who can’t put together a coherent sentence, don’t say please or thank you or call me “hun”.

Usually the ones who take the time to write a proper message with correct grammar are decent people who don’t muck you around.

LoppyDoppySoppy · 03/04/2026 17:25

We were selling some garden furniture, cost over £3k originally for I can’t remember, £200 or less.

Had the most hideous time with the couple who turned up to get it. She wanted it - it was discontinued, the perfect colour etc. they had travelled two hours too.

He was so brash and abrasive. I actually felt unsafe. Shouting about how the furniture was a piece of shit, he wouldn’t put it in his van. It was horrible. Tried to ask for it for free and I said no. This went on for ages. I just felt so uncomfortable and as though they were trying to get one over on me. They said they’d go sit in the van whilst I ‘thought about it’.

After about 20 minutes they drove off.

I checked the front door camera and you can hear him saying to her ‘right let’s get this for free’.

Sold it a few days later for full asking price.

Imlyingandthatsthetruth · 03/04/2026 17:30

Collection only.

"Can you deliver?

OnlyFrench · 03/04/2026 17:34

I used to reupholster French beds. I advertised one and the first person to contact me asked if she could have it for nothing as she was broke, the second asked if she could borrow it for a photo shoot!

Conniebygaslight · 03/04/2026 17:42

SleepingisanArt · 03/04/2026 15:49

At the moment I'm frustrated by the 'I'd like to buy it and do you have any jewellery, watches or gold I can buy?'

Really….? That’s a new one

OP posts:
Conniebygaslight · 03/04/2026 17:44

Vintageblueribbon · 03/04/2026 15:57

Oh God,facebook selling

I was stung once with some woman wanting pink paint

I happened to have loads left over from painting ds's bedroom (not a typo-he wanted a pink room)

Anyway,I said she could have it for free if she could pick it up

All good,we arranged for her to pop by (she lived about a mile down the road)

Waited in,no show

She then got in touch with 'sorry!' and could I meet her in town with it?

Oh and did I know x same surname as me?

No i didnt-turns out she was the ex girlfriend and mother of dc to a cousin of the side of the family I dont know (big family feud from before I was born)

(She made it clear I was to embrace this side of the family (strangers to me as I didnt even know they existed) as 'your all family!and i want to see you all together!')

I was taking dd to have her eyes tested so agreed to meet there

No show-i lugged it there and back in a heatwave

Getting pissed off but was a soft touch at the time or fool depending on your point of view

Anyway she asked if id drop it at hers as shes a skint single mum (so was i) and reeeaaaallllllyyy needed the paint as she couldn't afford to do up her dds room without it

I knocked and no answer but knew she was in as I could hear her having a row with the lad who is my cousin

I gave up and donated the paint-to which she went nuclear and started a smear campaign against me-it had her banging on my windows and nasty messages

(I went to the police who had a word and she calmed down but carried on slagging me off)

She even had the cheek to try and be centre stage at my uncles funeral a year or so later while slagging me off,saying I didnt show as I am a nasty bitch who didnt give a fuck about him

Why i'd go to a funeral of someone I didnt know is beyond me-i hadn't seen nor spoken to him in over 35 years,I didnt even know his adult dc or grandchildren existed

I toughened up against cfs now,first sign and I shut them down and refuse to budge

(Edited as I wrote she was mother to cousin not his dc)

Edited

Bloody hell!

OP posts:
Conniebygaslight · 03/04/2026 17:49

YellowHatt · 03/04/2026 16:17

As it was kitchen cupboards was she not doing you a bit of a favour saving you a trip down the tip?

She would have been on loading them the other side so must have managed so he didn’t have to help her, unless he wanted them gone enough. (Or you could have helped her, but I’m assuming there’s a reason why you couldn’t.)

Oh, she was doing us a favour…..🤣🤣🤣
I was out. DH more than capable of taking to the tip, but they have lots of life in them.
Are you one of the CFs this thread is about?

OP posts:
Conniebygaslight · 03/04/2026 17:51

OnlyFrench · 03/04/2026 17:34

I used to reupholster French beds. I advertised one and the first person to contact me asked if she could have it for nothing as she was broke, the second asked if she could borrow it for a photo shoot!

🤣🤣

OP posts:
Conniebygaslight · 03/04/2026 17:52

Favouritefruits · 03/04/2026 16:56

I sold one of those huge hot wheels garages, the man came on a bike to pick it up! I
as soon as he got to the end of the driveway it broke to pieces. My son had to fix it for him and I ended up giving him a lift.

The weirdest one I’ve had come to collect came to pick up a tallboy, he was very pleasant but after he came in to carry it out he asked me where I come from, I said ‘town’ he said no what country I told him the UK he proceeded to tell me why I didn’t and was I Greek like him? It was bizarre as he just didn’t believe me 😂

How odd….they walk among us

OP posts:
Babaar · 03/04/2026 18:05

I listed some good quality, nice condition toys, free, stated I would not deliver, collection only. I received a message, predictably, asking me to deliver (about 8 miles away). I politely declined. The CF messaged me "but you must bring them here or my child will be disappointed". She attached a map and gave me a choice of two time slots when I must deliver.

Kites200 · 03/04/2026 18:06
  1. I was selling a job lot of home decor items, one woman expected me to meet her at a restaurant in town with the items as she was visiting for the day to have lunch with friends

  2. Selling a dress, was asked to go into central London to drop it off to her as she wanted to wear it that evening. I offered to do her hair and make-up for her as well, she said yes. The sarcasm flew right over her head....

TOTPs · 03/04/2026 18:18

In case there is anyone who has not seen it, Lou Wall does a comedy sketch that captures the dynamic of this perfectly. It is on YouTube. Where is bed.

Minimili · 03/04/2026 19:25

I bought my DP a brand new bed and mattress which was expensive when we lived separately an hour away from each other.

He was made redundant from his job shortly after I’d bought it but found a better one in the town where I lived so stayed at my house most nights before we decided he’d move in with me.
As I already had furniture and a bed we sold lots of his on fb and had the usual nightmare of people wanting us to deliver or arguing about prices.

One man turned up for the microwave and was walking round the house asking for things for free we weren’t selling then asking for things we didn’t even have.
He was getting angry when we said we didn’t have a lamp he wanted or a George Foreman grill (like we were a branch of Argos) and told us his kids would suffer because he’d just separated from his wife and was having them EOW and needed to furnish his new flat.
He then decided he was having the fridge we’d already sold and someone was on their way to collect.

We were really struggling with him refusing to leave until we agreed on letting him have it for free but luckily two big men turned up for the fridge and passed the microwave to him and kind of swept him out of the door so his feet hardly touched the floor 😂.

We had an offer for the bed and said it needed collecting before we handed the keys back in two days (big mistake) and the man buying kept arguing over the price.
When he finally backed down he said he’d come to get it but then cancelled saying he’d come the next day - the day we were moving out properly.

He turned up with half the money knowing we needed the house empty and the bed gone, I was really angry knowing he’d planned this and I refused to give him it without the full amount. We asked a neighbour (who was a close friend) if he could hang onto it until we offered it to other people who were interested.

The man was absolutely incandescent with anger at me and told my DP not to move in with me because I was controlling and selfish and taking over the sale.

In the end my DP told him to fuck off and he disappeared for half an hour then came back with the amount we’d asked for, an extra £10 and an apology. He didn’t want to miss out on a brand new bed barely slept in!

I used to be a push over and total people pleaser but toughened up after reading so many Cf’er stories on mumsnet and getting frustrated when no one stands up to them.
It made me realise how many are out there and have thick skins, it was difficult at first but I’d imagine I was reading my own predicament on AIBU and how exasperating it is when the OP lets them get away with it and found it helps stop me from giving in.
This also works with other tricky situations in life!

Wiglio · 03/04/2026 19:43

I offered 2 sofas, one a sofa bed and a footstool free, collection only.
Woman said she would have them and would I deliver 10 miles away.
Theres only me and I don’t have a van.

Portakalkedi · 03/04/2026 19:43

I think putting a price on things, even if you're happy to give them away,discourages some of the bonkers types who then think they're doing you a big favour by 'taking it off your hands'.

Kites200 · 03/04/2026 19:55

I've also had 'Delivery?' to which I reply 'Manners?'

DreamyJade · 03/04/2026 20:01

Portakalkedi · 03/04/2026 19:43

I think putting a price on things, even if you're happy to give them away,discourages some of the bonkers types who then think they're doing you a big favour by 'taking it off your hands'.

I put some IKEA Kallax and Billy bookcases up for a tenner each, and gave them away for free when the buyers came to pick up. It saves the hassle of dealing with the piss-taking grabby buggers.

Pudmyboy · 03/04/2026 20:16

TOTPs · 03/04/2026 18:18

In case there is anyone who has not seen it, Lou Wall does a comedy sketch that captures the dynamic of this perfectly. It is on YouTube. Where is bed.

There's a link to it on page 1 of this thread, I hadn't seen it before and agree, it's hilarious!

Swipe left for the next trending thread