Who Pays for family holiday with adult children?

[yh8181]

Do you ask for a contribution?

I think it depends too, whose idea it was, relative finances, who is choosing location etc. I stopped going with mg parents at 16 and started again in my 30s with DH and DCs as it was a nice thing to do and DParents paid for it as we were pretty skint again and they were newly retired with good pensions. My DCs are still students/poorly paid so we still pay but to be honest I'm happy to pay for the privilege of having their company, it is so nice going away as four adults together. But we don't do lavish foreign holidays.

Depends on their ages. If they’re 18/19/esrly 20s in uni I think the parents would pay. ( mine did)
if I was going away with my parents now I’d pay for myself because I’m 35

How old? 19/20 I'd probably still pay.
However we've been away with both PIL and my parents since we had DS and I wouldn't expect them to pay for us. However the holidays have been suggested by us. On another couple of occasions both have said we've booked x cottage/house and there's room for you and ds if you want to come down for the weekend, I have offered to pay and been refused as they were going anyway. I'm in my 40s. TBH though I only have one ds and when he's an adult I'd I can easily afford to take him and his family on holiday I will

Too many unknowns to give a definitive answer however I do think it’s a bit cheeky to expect parents to pay for adult DC’s partners .

Depends on the age and money available.

When I was at uni/starting to work, my parents paid for me to go on holidays with them. They were chosing the accommodation and mostly just load us to their car. I used my money for my holiday with friends.

As an adult with good income, we plan together and everyone pays for themselves, or we split the cost of the younger sibling who isn't financially comfortable yet and wouldn't be able to go otherwise.

I went on holiday with my mum and her partner when i was 19. They didn’t ask me for any money as i was working during my gap year to save money in order to be able to afford to go to uni.

I am going on a 2 night break with my mum next week (also taking my son) and we have paid for ourselves.

so can depend on age of the adult child as well.

Ds hasnt been on holiday with us for a few years however dd happily comes on holiday , she is 22 and we have paid until this year.

her boyfriend coming this year so I’ve asked them both to pay half and have money to spend while there and we will pay the other half.

We’re in our late 40’s and invite the parents away with us now. We tell them we don’t want any money (we’re going to cottages/lodges anyway) as it’s not costing us any extra to have them drive down top. They still try to pay for it, despite our protests….

As an adult child we didn’t really holiday with our parents, and whilst ours wouldn’t expect us to pay anything, we still would.

Hmmmill see how things go ! We have taken them and partners on multiple holidays including some long haul trips. Our circumstances have changed recently so I’ll see what happens now we can no longer afford to pay.
already this year no suggestions of any trips either home or away have been made.
I don’t regret the holidays we’ve had and obviously they have multiple outgoings so probably unrealistic to think they would ever be in a position to pay for us but will be sad if there’s never any more trips in the future. I wouldn’t ever expect them to pay for us but I’d like to think we’d have some more trips with them while we are physically able to .

No, we went on holiday last yr with older adult DC and DGC. We’re on a pension and adult DC couple are both high earners so they covered their own family costs and we paid for ourselves.

If your adult DC are still quite young and/or on a low income and you can afford to subsidise them, then that’s a nice gesture but no one is owed a holiday!

We both retired before youngest DC was a teen (health reasons) and he’s had very few holidays with us as we simply can’t afford an annual holiday nowadays. It’s more like every 3 years and it’s done on a tight budget.

Time to ask them for a contribution, but be prepared for them for saying they'd rather do their own thing instead of joining you.

It's also absolutely fine not to invite them on your holiday at all.

If you really want them there then you pay. If you're just letting them know you'll be going to x and they are welcome to join then they pay for themselves.

I think it depends. I’ve made more than my mum since I was like 20 so normally I pay for her to come with us. If I’m going with my dad he pays because he has a lot more money, but when I go with my dad it’s normally us going away to take part in a shared hobby which I couldn’t afford to come and do on my own. I always contribute somehow but it’s normally like getting food, doing the driving (while he complains about driving), and general admin / planning.

European break every summer.

We take DC, their partners, their kids. 12 of us in total - it's always a great trip and we'll keep doing it for as long as we can!

We pay for flights, accommodation, things like theme park tickets, and buy everyone one of those city pass things. We pay for everything for the youngest who is still at uni and tends to stick with us. Depending on how flush I'm feeling, I'll sometimes pay off any credit card spending they've had when we're away.

We split up on some days, mostly if the little kids want something like a zoo or aquarium, but always have breakfast and dinner together. Do end up spending most of the time as a group really.

Another nice thing is that we plan and book it in between Xmas and New Year, when everyone's home.

It's lovely and hope it goes on for a long time ❤️

Depends on how 'adult' these children are ... 19/20 and just started working life, Id pay.

26/27 working full time with a partner & kids then id expect them to pay or at least pay a good contribution.

In both circumstances I wouldn't be paying for partners though.

I'm going on holiday with my parents later in the year. I'm paying for myself, kids and husband and they are paying for themselves.
However, I went to Paris with my mum and 2 kids last year and we went 50/50 so she paid for one of her grandkids essentially.
We also went to Romania with just my mum and daughter and I paid for my flight and my daughters flight and my parents paid for our accommodation.
Each trip away is different.

We often holiday with parents and in laws. Everyone pays for themselves. If we're staying in a villa we split the cost equally. If we're in a hotel then everyone pays for their rooms. But I'm in my 40s and earn a decent income. It would be different if I was a broke student.

Our DS is at uni and he will join us at a summer uk holiday cottage. We haven't asked for a contribution to the cottage. He will join us by train, so he gets his own ticket. If he wasn't still a student we'd probably ask for contribution. I'm guessing he'd probably be somewhat less likely to want to join us though.

If they’re working then they pay for themselves surely

Not if you want to treat them.

I prioritise holidays. I go away on my own, with groups of friends and with my adult DC. They are both mid twenties.

It honestly wouldn’t occur to me to ask them for a contribution. If I can’t afford to pay, I don’t invite them.

I also pay for them to go on holiday with their DPs/friends. I have paid for hotel rooms for DC DP when we go away together but not flights. This year I am going away twice with DC but their partners aren’t included.

It depends on lots of things.
Who is choosing and organising/instigating the holiday?
Is it the parents inviting the kids to join "their" holiday or a truly joint enterprise?
Are the parents a lot wealthier taking into account mortgage/childcare costs etc? Or do the adult kids have a lot more disposable income and already comfortably on the housing ladder?

My very wealthy MIL invited us (me and husband though not married at the time, we only been together for a year) to go to the US for a family reunion. She really leant on us to agree and I was not that keen as we hadn't yet had a holiday of our own but we said we'd think about it. She made it sound like it was a huge treat and opportunity for us and I admit I assumed she must be paying. The dates, location and all the activities/schedule for each day was already decided. It was more than 2 weeks of annual leave to do something we had no real say in and we luckily didn't commit. Not least because the more it was discussed it was clear that we were expected to cover all our own costs, in the 1000s and we were both low earners at the time, so it wouldn't have been possible or reasonable for PIL to expect in the circumstances. MIL was not a reasonable person though!

We are now much wealthier than my parents (PIL are now deceased). They aren't really into holidays but if we were to go away with them I would automatically assume I was paying for them though I think they'd offer to chip in a bit. Plus the invitation would come from us, so they'd be joining our trip rather than the other way around.

Truly joint enterprise and similar finances, totally reasonable to split.

You pay for them to go on holiday with friends, when you’re not actually attending?

That is some generosity!