Who Pays for family holiday with adult children?

[yh8181]

Do you ask for a contribution?

@yh8181are you rich?

How has it ended up that they expect you to pay? Any holidays post 18 I’ve paid for myself but there haven’t been that many tbh.

Parents booking and paying for accommodation is reasonable if they want the holiday to happen. Giving free lifts in their car also fine. Other costs should be shared by the individuals or couples who accept the invitation, unless they are struggling financially.

I’m an adult and go on holiday with my parents. We pay our own way.

We usually arrange trips together and pay individually. The odd time our parents will pay a bigger amount or pay for the kids but we want to holiday together so no one is obliged to pay.

My adult kids are at home. I pay for them they don't earn enough yet.

If they had partners,
I would only pay if we were staying in UK self catering accomodation and we were all travelling by car together ie no real extra cost. They would need to sort spends, I might pick up self catering costs.

I think if you are expecting them to come or putting any kind of pressure on it, you need to pay @yh8181 .

Also worth keeping in mind that your DC's partners are less likely to want to spend money and annual leave, that could be better spent elsewhere, on a trip with their in-laws.

Perfectly fine for you to ask for them to pay especially for partners.

If they are working, I'd make it clear from the outset that they pay the full cost.

Depends on circumstances - my XH earns multiple times what I do, and the offspring know this and can easily adapt their expectations!

I paid for my dd's to join me and a bunch of family friends on a very cheap youth hostel trip this year, but in previous years I've done a couple of trips with individual daughters, and we've split it 50/50 as I don't really have any more money than them.

My XH tends to pay for accommodation and say, get yourself here. And then I think he'll pay for meals out etc.

Our ds is getting married abroad this year (near his fiancée's home town) and my XH is paying for all the kids' airfares. I'm staying with my daughters for 3 nights whilst we're all there and we're splitting the accommodation costs between us.

Our holidays are usually self catering somewhere in the UK so we don’t ask for a contribution towards the cost of having a bigger holiday rental. We generally pay for meals out while we’re away too. My kids are in their 20s, my eldest is in his first proper job and has a mortgage and my youngest is still at uni so I suspect they would choose to spend their holiday budget going somewhere of their own choosing with their own friends than with us if they were forced to choose at this stage of their life. I like that I get to spend a whole week with them which is a rare treat for me as they live some distance away so I’m happy to do that. If it’s was flights and hotel rooms etc we just wouldn’t be able to afford to cover the cost of everyone indefinitely. When I holiday with my mum we always split the cost.

If PIL invite us on holiday they pay. Mainly because I wouldn’t choose to go otherwise 😂 With my family, they’d usually pay for accommodation and meals and we pay for our flights.

When my father died my brothers and I decided to keep his bungalow, it’s a 5 bed in the coast in Cornwall beautiful private path down to the sea. We pay for the upkeep etc between us

it works to split the school summer holidays 2 weeks each (unless 1 off us doesn’t want it and sometimes we over lap and stay together). When my children and grandchildren come they pay fir travel and days out (unless I treat) I pay for food

we also often go to wales in May for a week, I let everyone know when where they let me know if they want to come so I can book the right size place. Again I cover the accommodations and food in the house maybe the odd meal out.

Eldest DD is at university and love having her come so we pay.

Had 2 holidays last year with adult dc.
Ist one we booked a large villa, because it was cheap. Asked dc, they just paid their flights, but we were going with or without them
2nd holiday dc wanted to go to europe CP as we used to go when they were young and we split everything equally.

In my family, the adult children pay for everything. Meals out, holidays, nice presents. We split the cost between us. My parents could afford to pay for themselves, but they’re lovely people and it’s nice to treat them.

We’re all in our 30’s and 40’s, though. When I was 22, my dad was paying my rent and fully funding my masters. If my parents hadn’t paid for holidays, I wouldn’t have been able to go. So, I think it depends on how old your kids are, their financial situations and what your relationship with them is like.

I think this is unfair.

In my early 20s, I didn't have a lot of money to spend on holidays - I would not have been willing to scrimp and save to go away with my parents and then not be able to afford to go away with my friends. But I was happy to do both and genuinely enjoyed the time with my parents

Now I am in my 40s, we split the costs and sometimes I treat my parents.

I think in general a big aspect of this is who is making the decisions - PIL pay for the occasional family holiday but they want to choose the location and the accommodation and often it isn't what the rest of us would choose to pay for. So I think it does make sense for them to pay.

It varies. DS1 and 2 are working in good jobs. Last year we went on holiday in the UK, we paid for the accommodation but they paid for meals out and some entrance fees. DS 3 is adult but no income, and older siblings voluntarily paid for some of his meals too. I wouldn’t ask them to do that. We try to be inclusive, and DS3 would never be left out because of his financial situation.

Hmmm.

My parents paid for a huge holiday last year, 12 of us altogether. It was somewhere I certainly couldn't have afforded to go (they absolutely know this btw) and our family isn't the calmest so they paid for flights, accommodation, contribution to car hire. We all paid for our food, rest of car hire, fuel, park tickets £££.

We're currently planning a short break to Europe for the same 12 people, and I'll be paying for myself and my just-adult DC as I both want them to come and it's not somewhere they'd necessarily choose to visit with their mum and ageing grandparents.

We try and have a holiday with our adult children once a year. Tends to be in the UK as they like the dog to come!! We pay for the accommodation and initial food shop and they pay their way the rest of the time and treat us to a meal at some point.
As others have said, they’re great company and it’s lovely to spend the time together. If we were to go abroad, we would do similar and pay for accommodation and they would pay for their flights.

When we were in our 20s my DDad’s pension was more than DH and I were earning together. DM had an equal income to DDad. They paid apart from our travel. Now we earn far more and pay everything except the travel. If DMum didn’t have an excellent pension we’d pay her travel too, for the sake of her company!

We go on holiday with my parents, I always offer to pay but they refuse so I buy food instead. If I go with my adult daughter we usually go halves unless I’m treating her for a special occasion.

Yes, or your DC can only afford a holiday that is much cheaper than one that you can afford as the parents.

I don't want to go on the sort of walking/camping/backpacking/cheap transport that takes hours/staying in hostels type holidays that my DC are happy to do (and I was too in my early 20s) and that is what they can afford. I can't expect them to pay their own way when I want something out of their price range.

We holiday in the UK when it’s all of us too, works out much cheaper to get a huge Airbnb than pay for 8 adult and two children to go abroad, there are two dogs too so we couldn’t take them abroad anyway and kennels cost a fortune. We just have picnic style food in the house though and we’re big walkers which is free!

This.

as most others have said, it depends.
At this stage in our lives, we’ve got more money than dd and her partner, and also more time as we’re retired. So we’re more than happy to pay for dd to come on holiday with us, and her partner if he can - they are ‘giving’ us their holiday time and we love the pleasure of their company.