So bored at home with 20 month old

[Gumbolt]

Just that really, I feel guilty but I'm SO BORED the two days a week I spend at home with my 20 month old. I work 3 days so he's at nursery for part of the week. But these two days drag like anything. I am unable to drive for medical reasons so a lot of places - soft plays etc - are inaccessible to us as take forever to get to. He is on one nap and tends to wake stupidly early so if we go anywhere in the buggy in the morning I risk him falling asleep on the way back which I try to avoid as he wakes up much earlier than he does in his cot. He is a nightmare to take for an actual walk because he just runs in any direction, refuses to hold hands and sits down and screams if I try to use reins. He is entertained in the garden for all of five minutes. It's not even 11am yet and I am out of ideas. Am I alone??

I’d go back full time tbh

I would go back to work full time.
I would look much more holistically at the family income. There is enough money to pay for full time childcare and allow both of the adults to have full time jobs. You and your DH should both have the same opportunities to gain satisfaction, a salary and a pension from work.

I am also a non driver and I do remember time at home with them being a bit boring at that age. I do agree with another poster that it helps to split the day up into manageable portions. I simply had to use the bus or we’d never have got out, but even that is interesting to a toddler and takes up a fair bit of the day. He’s up early so I would make that your time to get organised early and go catch the bus to do an activity together- soft play, play cafe, park, mother and toddler group or meet up with mum friends. I know you run the risk of him falling asleep on the way and nap being jeopardised but you can make sure you are back for midday or whenever he naps. A few times I just left my dd in her stroller, out in the back garden if it was dry! Or don’t take the pram so he doesn’t have the option to fall asleep until you are home.

Im guessing he sleeps from after lunch until 2ish? Then it’s time for getting out his toys, play doh, crayons or letting him play in the garden if you have one. Encourage as much free play (supervised obviously) as you can get away with. Don’t be afraid to allow a little screen time (no more than an hour, as per the new guidelines). I usually found after dinner was the quickest/ easiest time as OH was usually home. I could usually get away with letting DD splash in the bath early evening which would entertain her for ages.

Things aren't going to get any better until you have some kind of schedule to the day.. do you have a playpen he can play in at home ? Getting out is going to use some time so even tho it's hard it's a good idea...even taking him to a child's playground for a walk around. one of the days take the bus or taxi to soft play.

Even though it's hard and even though it will take a long time and be stressful, the alternative is to stay home alday both bored to tears

After you've been out youl feel better about spending some time at home.

I feel like people are misunderstanding. We do have a schedule. We do do things. We do go out. But he is only interested in anything for a maximum of 5 minutes, will not walk, and screams in the buggy. So it is difficult. That's not to say we do not do it, but it is not enjoyable. It is tedious.

If I didn't take the pram I wouldn't be able to get anywhere with him because he will not walk in any kind of direction I need him to go in.

I mean to say, if we are at home and we do say a puzzle, reading, drawing, play doh, household chores - all these things take us 5 minutes max each because his attention span is SO tiny. It's not like I can get out a tuff tray and he will play with it for 45 minutes. It's not even like I can stand him in the toddler tower next to me while I cook for 20 minutes because he will either scream or just start lobbing everything off the side.

I know some toddlers aren't like this because my eldest wasn't, I really just wanted to vent about how bored I am 😂

But it would be less of a ball ache with taxis.

Definitely and I do get them if we are going a very short journey.

It’s not called “the terrible twos” for nothing. It will end.💐

A 3-6 minute attention span is absolutely normal for this age @Gumbolt

What happens if you put some toys out, put some music on and potter about ?

Honestly I had to get out with mine or I would go bonkers !
I couldnt drive with my first and got the bus one way and taxi back.

It might sound drastic OP but in your position I would consider moving to an area with much better transport options or a town/ city with lots of facilities in walking distance if possible. As you can’t drive and the public transport is crap where you live you are totally reliant on your husband to drive you everywhere by the sounds of it. Being able to get around easier would really give you some freedom
and improve things for you

I get around no bother at all by myself and with my older child, it's just the little one in the mix that makes it awkward because of his temperament. I lived here when my eldest was the same age and it was fine. I am only a 15/20 minute walk away from shops and other amenities, and I can get into the centre of town in half an hour by bus, it's just things like soft plays are in awkward locations like industrial estates.

Honestly I would just push through and go out.
He will just have to get used to it.
Staying in isnt going to improve things and you feeling isolated and bored wont help either.

We do! It's just a pain in the arse 😂

I was really just venting.

Ask nursery what he likes doing there.
Then replicate it.

What does he like doing at nursery ?
Does he focus on activities there?

He's quiet and observant at nursery apparently and loves to watch the other children.

We have all the things they have at nursery at home really, apart from the other nine toddlers 😂

What about one of those push along trike things that you strap them into and push, rather than a buggy? Do you think he would enjoy that/tolerate it better?

They are all a pain in the arse, they are tiny meglomaniacs 😂

My point is , staying in will make you feel worse.

Yes, I may try this actually

First of all op this too shall pass. He won’t be 20 months forever.

But also why on god’s green earth would you live somewhere without any facilities within walking distance of you don’t drive?! This seems to be a recurring theme on mn.

I was just about to say this too. A trike push chair with pedals and a handle for you. He'll think he's "driving". They have sun visers and some have tooter horns you can attach and detach.

There are loads second hand for around £15 to £25 online, so hopefully same for your location.

Other thing to try is to play cbeebies radio, this worked for us on pram walks. You can download from bbc sounds so it doesn't eat your Internet.

I really appreciate your frustration OP and the vent is absolutely justified. The good news is he will of course age out of this stage, so even if you do nothing it's going to get better. I was wondering whether you have any mum friends? I usually find that they are entertained with something for a lot longer if there is another kid there too. And if he's not, at least you would have some company, which makes it all much more bearable.

Would he like to use a scooter? Is there somewhere safe he could use it?