So bored at home with 20 month old

[Gumbolt]

Just that really, I feel guilty but I'm SO BORED the two days a week I spend at home with my 20 month old. I work 3 days so he's at nursery for part of the week. But these two days drag like anything. I am unable to drive for medical reasons so a lot of places - soft plays etc - are inaccessible to us as take forever to get to. He is on one nap and tends to wake stupidly early so if we go anywhere in the buggy in the morning I risk him falling asleep on the way back which I try to avoid as he wakes up much earlier than he does in his cot. He is a nightmare to take for an actual walk because he just runs in any direction, refuses to hold hands and sits down and screams if I try to use reins. He is entertained in the garden for all of five minutes. It's not even 11am yet and I am out of ideas. Am I alone??

You need to set up a timetable for yourself to help it feel more manageable.

Where can you get to easily on public transport. Find groups, libraries or parks, cafes or bakeries in those areas.

Think of things like feeding the ducks, local museums, village halls with playgroups, garden centres with water features or fish.

If you don't want to be bored, you don't have to be!

That's hard if you can't drive and live somewhere you can't walk easily (and honestly, can you move, sounds awful to me). We have an 18 month old and I find being at home so difficult. But luckily can walk to lots of place. Can you take him to a big field somewhere so he can run around freely? playground? play date with someone who has a similar age child so at least you can talk to the other parent? Mine quite likes 'helping' with household chores so we do that a lot when we are home.

It's just really difficult to get out because he kicks off so much both in the buggy and walking. We don't have any of the things you list within easy public transport distance, except for the park and a couple of playgroups.

You need a routine and planned activities. You need to get out the house tough shit if he screams with reins on he will have to get use to them.

Get him a scooter or balance bike to make it interesting? Would you go back to work and put him in full time?

or get a bicycle so you can go out a bit further than a walk? Or plan your days out around public transport ?

Like for example there's a play cafe nearby that would take about ten minutes to drive to but is 45 minutes on the bus assuming the bus is even on time. And the slots are either 1.15pm or 3.15pm. 1.15pm is in the middle of nap time, and 3.15 makes me too late with dinner by the time we get the bus back. When my eldest was this age you could just turn up to stuff but everything seems to be in pre bookable slots now. Also my eldest travelled so much better, he was happy in the buggy and actually walked nicely.

I can't ride a bicycle for the same reason I can't drive.

I am back at work - I work three days a week.

I just find it almost impossible to deal with. The screams are insane. My eldest wasn't like this at all so it's new to me.

I’d consider working FT

How is he when you sit down on the floor with him and play with him and his toys? When my daughter was that age, we didn't have any money to go out to soft play, cafes etc, and I spent most of every day playing with her, reading to her, and drawing.

Some ideas

Does he like being read to ? Cosying up on the sofa reading a story to him is nice thing for both if he enjoys stories.

Songs / music , sing along ,dance.

Play dough or plasticine or drawing / painting activity . My kids used to love that.

And occasional amount of TV
,e g.teletubbies etc while you get a cuppa

Definitely go to the playgroups then?

Plan one 'out' activity each day and one 'in' activity each day. So playgroup in the morning, home for lunch and nap, then bake and prep dinner in the afternoon. Pr park and feed ducks in the morning, home for lunch and nap, tuff tray with dinosaurs and shaving foam in afternoon.

Look at imaginative play ideas on Instagram, invest in a tuff tray and try different set ups.

Do you have a toy library in your area? Go once a month and rotate some new toys to take home.

What helps get him in the buggy? Can you have some tubs of nice snacks? Books or toys tied to the handle?

Full time.

Let him join in with what you are doing - that is play to him.

If you are peeling the potatoes, give him some in a bowl of water.
If you are doing the laundry, let him copy you and put things in an out of the laundry basket.
If you are cleaning the floor, give him a broom/ dustpan.
If you are polishing, give him a cloth to copy you.
If you are doing something in the garden, give him a little trowel.
If you are cooking, let him mess with some of the ingredients.

It will make everything slower - much slower! - but it means that you and he are involved together and it is not a question of you having jobs and him getting in the way of doing these because you need to entertain him. He will keep trying to get your attention - that is what they do - but if you are not preoccupied with other things but involving him he will not need to fight for your attention - he is already part of the action!

You, and what you are doing, are the entertainment!

I remember my adult DD going out for a walk with her siblings and leaving her son of roughly the same age with me - when they all got back I had cooked a meal for 8 - she could not believe this at all and asked how I had found the time. But my GS had been involved every step of the way in creating that meal and had not needed any entertainment. He loved it!

Welcome him onto your activities - that's the way to go.

Good luck.

He will tolerate being read to for maybe 5 mins max. Ditto songs and dancing.

He just eats playdough or throws it. He likes to draw but not on paper, he just wants to draw on the floor or the walls.

And he will not watch TV for love nor money and it's not for lack of trying 😂

All he wants to do is destroy stuff tbh. I would spend all day in the garden with him but again after 5 minutes he wants to come back inside.

Your home is his playground; the things in it are his toys!

I do all these things but the problem is the attention span - he won't do anything for more than 5 minutes at a time. If I give him a bowl of water he will play with it for a couple of minutes and then get bored and want to do something else.

I'm always amazed when people say their toddlers are entertained by these things for any length of time. I seem to get half an hour out of all of them put together.

Don't I just know it 😂

It's prohibitively expensive; we aren't entitled to any of the free hours. But I am considering it tbh.

Gets bored after 5 minutes

At that age I was with my dd all day every day. I would have been bored to tears without going out every day! And dd would have been too. We had a weekly schedule of classes, stay and plays, visits to parks, libraries, museums and galleries. I can't drive and walked or took the bus or tube. She napped every day coming back in the buggy and it was fine. She needed to nap as she had busy mornings. If she'd been sitting at home she wouldn't have burned off energy so wouldn't have been tired enough.

They have naturally short attention spans I know. It can be frustrating. Hang on in - it sounds as though you are doing the right things and his attention span will bet longer.

We do go out, it's just awful 😂

And mine naps brilliantly at home - I rely on that nap to get a break. I get 2 hours with a home nap whereas a buggy nap I get maybe half an hour and then he's in a terrible mood all afternoon.

It's really tough.

My best advice is split the day into manageable sections and have a routine for each day that you do every week. It will be easier for you because you don't need to think about it each week. It will be easier for him because kids do usually work better with routine. For example, once he knows that the buggy trip ends in softplay/playgroup/something fun he's much more likely to tolerate it.

If you can do lunch/dinner in the buggy, this saves time and also gives him something to do when you're on the bus/walking.

Does he like a bath? A play bath can sometimes be a useful activity.

Also, don't be afraid to tell him that you're not going back indoors after five minutes in the garden. Let him whine if he wants to, but you're in charge and if it's the garden for half an hour then that's what's happening. He will get used to it. It may also help to have multiple five minutes activities ready to go if that's his attention span. For example, five minutes kicking a ball, five minutes blowing bubbles, five minutes chasing him, five minutes collecting mud/stones/grass, five minutes on a slide/trampoline/swing if you can get one, five minutes cleaning toy cars, five minutes painting with water etc.

The five minute mum is a good insta account/website/book with lots of good short activities.