Ex now wants half the house after saying no interest, advice?

[Roxyford]

Im just seeing if anyone has had any positive outcome from what im going through right now because I am so down and stressed and just cant see a positive.
So I was with my ex for 13 years we have 2 children 13 and 5 my mum gifted myself a large depoist so that we could get onto the property ladder (I didn't ask for this) she simply did this so that the children would have a home always.
Anyway we brought a house then sold that after about 4 years and brought another house using what equity was in that house as a depoist for the next house the equity was from the deposit my ex only lived in this house for 3 months when we separated. I took on the bills and paid the mortgage etc and after a couple months we went to mediation regarding child contact and during that mediation the mediator said what about property and finances and my ex said no I have no interest in the house thats for the children. And we said that when I am able to I will take over the house and take him off the mortgage I did try last year but I was 30k short so I said I'll try again when the mortgage is up for renewal in 3 years he was fine with that.
In the last few months he has washed his hands of our 13 year old daughter for absolutely no reason and last saw our 5 year old briefly at Christmas I found out after Christmas that he had moved house so I said to him via message can I please have your new address so I know where our 5 year old will be and he just went crazy and said its got nothing to do with me and that he was going to try and get full custody of our 5 year old and then I get a really nasty solicitors letter demanding that I sell the house and give him 50% i paid for another mediation session in January and he refused I cant afford a solicitor ive managed to get together enough money to spend an hour with one its costing £315. I'll have to represent myself. I just cant cope i cant get my head around this how can he be happy to potentially make his children homeless. And theres also been no attempt to see them. Can I also just add that we didn't have a good relationship he had a bad temper I would never leave the children alone with him. I have an older daughter she is 17 and her and my 13 year old both tell me how he would threaten them and how scared of him they were. He's so controlling. I did call legal aid and they said to speak to national domestic abuse helpline so I did and they were brilliant they said how he is is totally unacceptable and that im suffering emotional abuse from him.
Im just terrified ive been working so hard to keep this house and to keep the children happy and look after there mental health as well as my own. He took everything of value when he left this house including the family car and £4,000 i am now in debt as ive had to replace things I am also 31 weeks pregnant with my current partner.
Sorry to go on i just wondered if anyone else had represented themselves and had any good result.

Your Mum put the deposit down on the original house though, that was purchased before you met your ex. You stated that he only lived in this property for a few months before it was sold. You obviously didn't ring-fence this money, when you purchased the original house or your current house and your Mum didn't set up any legal contracts either. You probably should have given her deposit money back out of the equity when the original house was sold. You instead used all the equity within the original house to buy the current house with your ex.

I don't see how legally your ex is responsible for the deposit money on the original house. It's not his fault that money was never legally ring-fenced, that's an oversight on your part. However, I'm no legal expert, and you need to find out if your current home is sold, can the deposit money be paid back to your Mum, before any equity is split. He may have to agree to it, and personally I can't see him being very willing.

Your ex is on the mortgage and the deeds, he legally can force a sale or ask you to buy him out. My only other question would be....where is he currently living? I ask because unless he earns a huge amount of money, it's highly unlikely he's on the mortgage/deeds of another property, as well as your own. Yes, people can have two mortgages but they'd need to be able to afford both!!

This might be why he's now interested in the equity in your current home. If he's remarried, perhaps him and his wife want to buy a joint property together?

You need to seek legal advice urgently.

It's 100% the new wife pushing this, especially the disowning teenage daughter part.

This is it. Also you don’t have to do anything until your youngest is 18 🫡

That’s totally wrong

It’s actually unbelievable that people think you can just keep half a house someone else owns because you have kids. In what world would that happen?

there is no marriage, it’s the same as buying with a friend. Would you expect to keep half a
friends house because you had children?!

That doesn’t automatically mean you own it as joint tenants.

Look back at all your paperwork and on the land registry.

If you own ‘in common’ you have an additional issue: if anything happens to you the whole house automatically belongs to him.

Document everything, dates you purchased the property, dates he lived there. What he contributed - be calm. If you weren’t married it’s not a marital asset. Get legal advice, go into debt for it if you have to. This might all be stopped with a well written letter from your solicitor stating it would be a costly process with little chance of success.

If you own ‘in common’ you have an additional issue: if anything happens to you the whole house automatically belongs to him.

No

That is if owned as joint tenants

I think posters are confused by referring to him as Ex instead of ex-partner.

That aside, how is your relationship with the father of your 17yo? Would he help with some money to consult a lawyer? Equally, would your new partner help with legal costs? His unborn child is also involved in this situation.

The more you can get done legally before your next birth the better.

Why would she look into his pension?! They are not married.

OP, you mention that you told your ex partner he could use the family car for work. He's now sold the car and has bought another. Did you purchase the vehicle? Can you prove that you purchased the vehicle? Eg. Do you have an invoice with your name only printed on it? I have to assume the V5C document, as the Registered Keeper was in your ex's name? If he sold it, then I have to assume it was. The legal owner of a vehicle isn't necessarily the same as the Registered Keeper!

My Aunt left her car to her grandson in her Will. When she passed away, her partner could prove that he'd purchased and paid for the vehicle. My Aunt was only the Registered Keeper, and not the legal owner, therefore she wasn't legally entitled to leave the car to her grandson.

If you can prove you purchased and paid for the car, then your ex wasn't the legal owner and therefore had no legal rights to sell the vehicle. The profit (or money off another vehicle on part-exchange) he made would then be taken off any equity in the house, that he may be entitled too, along with the £4,000 (assuming you can prove you transferred this to him).

Yes, he would be entitled to a share of any equity in your current property but it may not be 50%.

Unfortunately it sounds like you’re in financial trouble OP. What was the equity when he moved out?

He’s going to take what he can get. You are eligible for child maintenance, and can apply for a variation on the amount he gets back for the house, so you could get 16% back that way.

You need to work it out:

Equity at separation / 2 - (car value, 4k, any CMS arrears, anything else he took of value) x 0.84 = the amount you’ll likely owe.

Perhaps the dad of your unborn child could help out?

Since when ?

Since a long time. One parent doesn’t have the sole right to hold onto the joint asset of the house just because children under 18 are involved.

A lot of people are responding as if this is a divorce situation. This couple were not married.

OP needs legal advice as much of what's posted here doesn't apply to her.

the mediator will have a record of him saying he had no interest but I don’t know if that will help. I just have to give my ex 100k even though I was with him 12 years and I’ve had my house 35 years. But because he was on the mortgage even though he never paid it he was entitled to half, but accepted 100k. The law is so wrong especially if you can’t afford a good solicitor which I could not.

OP, how long have you and your XP been separated now and have you paid all bills and mortgage since that date?

Almost 2 years and yes I pay for everything

And the counter argument is you’ve had sole use and he’s had to pay to live elsewhere

you will have to pay him you just need to to get proper legal advice on how to much

Is he paying child maintenance (he should be!)

Doesnt matter if he hasnt been paying.

I know a couple. They broke up
She didnt pay anytging when they were together. She didnt pay anything on the mortage for the next 30 years. She was still entilited to 50% all those years later

Please stop giving advice if you dont know what you are talking about

It does not matter if he has or hasnt paid towards the mortage
It also makes no difference if he is seeing the children or if he isnt paying child maintance.
Makes no difference to the house.
He is entilted to 50% of the sale

But OP - You are entilited to request to a court that you dont sell untill the children are 18 - But its not guarenteed

Get professional advice as soon as possible. Also get the house valued.
This happened to my sister and she was refusing to sell or pay him off. The result was that he took her to court and she ended up having to pay him rent until they could sell as she was living in a property they both owned whilst he was living elsewhere and having to pay rent.

Sounds crazy but it does work that way. She was preventing him buying elsewhere as he was on the joint mortgage despite not paying anything towards it. The judge totally ruled in his favour and there were 3 children involved. The judge told her she would need to downsize in order to pay him his share.

That’s crazy to me when I got free advice of a solicitor this is what I got told. (About 3 years ago!)

But works if DF has the children overnight, especially as contact starts at 50/50 now.

The children are expected to have two homes, one with each parent. Both parents have the right to be able to downsize to provide a home.