Reasonable consequences for teen losing expensive door key twice?

[Zoo2tropolis]

This may be a mix of AIBU and WWYD

My DC is early teens. Usually very responsible, well behaved, very few problems at any age. At the start of the school year they were given a door key. In a pouch, to go inside their school bag and stay there. Told to keep it safe, we have a special door and lock so it's really expensive. It would only be needed every now and then when noone gets home in time to let them in.

Around Xmas time, they lost the key. Then eventually found it, but we were mad they hadn't looked after it. They had taken it out of the pouch, left it loose. The responsibility and importance of keeping it safe, and consequences of not doing that were impressed on them. We helped them devise a means to keep it safe - put it in a zipped pouch, again within school bag and it should stay there.

Today they said it's lost again, this time the zip on the pouch apparently broke, they put the key tucked just inside their phone case and it's gone. The phone has been taken multiple places and they have no idea when it went or whether in or outside the house.

I'm saying the consequences for this should be:

1. Grounded for 1 month, due to seriousness of the issue and it being lost despite previous conversations (but they can still go to clubs)
2. Loss of phone except for travel to and from school for communicating
3. They should use their laptop to come up with a way to earn money to cover cost of a new key, as this is about taking responsibility

So AIBU, or what would you do in the same position?

Sorry, I think your punishment are FAR out of line. People lose things. Especially the careless young and the forgetful elderly.

Instead of a pouch, you should provide a large, garish keychain - preferably with some metal, so that it will make noise if dropped.

You sound so horrible. I lose keys all the fucking time

Agree. Get a key safe and pick your battles with your teenager ! This definitely wouldn’t have been on my radar with my children.

I think your punishment list is too harsh.

Consequences of not having a key means waiting outside until someone comes home while working to give you the cost of the replacement key via pocket money deductions / extra chores.

Grounding and phone sanctions is
way over the top.

Why not have key safe on the front of the house we have one on piller near front door very handy especially if door blows too when popping outside to the bin etc no need to worry about taking a key.

You could get one of those boxes by the door where you input a code to release key. I was always losing mine when a teen..parents bought me gigantic leather keyring thing that I never used.

Ah I see pp...Keysafe..that is what I meant!

The consequence should be for the parents who have given the child an expensive key….and for not making sure they are home to let the child in, when the child isn’t yet ready for the responsibility of the key.

Parent better.

This
i don’t think they deserve any punishment

Goodness me, calm down. It’s a key and a child.

It was an accident, people lose things and a teen is still a child. The natural consequence is that they don’t have a key and will have to wait outside the house u til someone’s home until they can save up enough to replace it. Grounding and removing phone etc are complete overkill. It’s also ridiculous that you gave them a key without a keyring or lanyard etc attached, a loose key in a zipped pouch isn’t ideal because, as you have found out, zips can break. I have ADHD and have struggled with losing my keys, since I got a massive key ring and lanyard combination I haven’t lost them at all. It’s much harder to lose something substantial than a tiny key attached to nothing.

Wow ! bit harsh
where are you going to go with punishment when they do something actually bad

you say shes good chores to pay it off is enough

better storage of key lanyard inside an old pencil case safey pinned to bag

The natural consequence would be that they don’t have a key and have to wait outside if nobody is home. As a parent you need to decide if your child is responsible enough for a key…

I have a key lock as I think looking after keys is quite a big responsibility (maybe cos my kids are ND and already have lots of thing to remember for school.) they are quite small so by default quite small.

Buy a key box with a digi lock. Best thing we ever did. 2 DS’s always loosing or forgetting keys. Problem solved.

Of course we haven't "all" lost keys. I've never lost one in my life, neither did my parents or my now adult children. I can't think of ever hearing of anyone I know in real life losing one.

Shes never caused you any behaviour problems at any age !!! You say shes responsible

she was honest and told you - be careful with ott punishment she may start hiding things

you call losing a key a serious issue ?

You can NOT be serious! How draconian is that! Have you not lost anything? Do you think s/he did it deliberately? Teenagers just can't help being absent minded/distracted. I agree about attaching the key to the interior of the schoolbag to avoid future loss.I see you admit to already being mad at him/her. If you insist on fury and the harsh steps you suggest as a result to any kid-type infraction, you are on track to damaging your lines of communication with your child. Of course discipline is important, but chores and an explanation of how expensive the key is will suffice. I speak as a teacher of 47 years' experience and mother of three DC in their 40s.

Put a coded lock box outside your house with a spare key in, I wouldn’t give a child such a heavy responsibility if it’s worth that much to you. The punishments are too severe imo. I would make them save up to replace the key if they get pocket money. If they don’t and £50 is really a lot of money in your household then half is fairer.

You don't know anyone in real life who has lost a key ... You can't know many people but that's ok all those of us on here are also living in real life and many have lost keys so now you've heard of people in real life losing a key next time you can join in the discussion.

Oh come on. It’s not the sort of thing you know about is it

? All your family and acquaintances are hardly likely to tell you this sort of thing!

Are you nuts? Have you never lost a key/or anything else of value?
Just don’t give him a key. Figure out another option if there isn’t going to be anybody home.

Grounded for a month for losing a key? Crikey, you’ve got hard times ahead op

Why didn’t you just install a key safe?

You definitely know people who have lost keys! It is just such a normal, non-event that it's not a big talking point...

FFS, just leave the key somewhere safe.

We don't have a key for every one of our kids/parents who need to a ces the house. Stick it under a stone, brick, plant pot, etc. for them to access.

@Zoo2tropolis are you seriously groups ding your child for A MONTH for losing their key???