Needing longer and longer to regulate after stress

[RegulationTimeframe]

I have Autism. I’ve always had issues after a stressful day or few hours or a change in routine where I’m not ok for a couple of days and need to regulate. It’s just getting worse now.

On Monday I had 2 appointments in one day and I usually avoid that as it can overwhelm me but I had no choice. I’m still not ok today. Can’t go out, can’t do things I need to do, can only eat a limited range of food I feel like my mind has just shut down. Is this something to do with perimenopause or just getting older with autism?

Yeah, it definitely gets worse as you get older. I'm audhd and in my 50s and I'm struggling to recover after stressors. I even have to limit contact with other people now because I feel physically unwell and all over the place after dealing with them.

Don't beat yourself up over it, you need time to recover and that's okay. There's no shortcuts to recovery either.

Yes I’ve found this too.

also peri and I’m exhausted and physically unwell after a day of anything that’s out of my routine or a busy one full of appointments.

Im finding I also have a bad stomach after such days, I used to be able to cope but increasingly these days I’m struggling.

i have (diagnosed) ADHD and I think Autism too,

I’m autistic too and struggle a lot more than I used to with really basic things - it’s horrible 😔

Sounds like you’re on the route to burn out. This is warning phase were you can do something about it.

Yes I’m worried about that. I just feel totally exhausted it’s physical pain as well as psychological. Maybe I need to avoid overdoing it the way I did on Monday

I suspect I have adhd, I have a lot of the signs. I kept a lid in things but menopause has made it harder to cope. My coping mechanisms no longer work, It takes me ages to regulate myself. People talk a lot about the million and one symptoms of menopause but not much with regard to this subject.

It is worth seeing the GP for ‘tired all the time’ blood tests and starting or adjuating HRT if you’re able to take it.

Other than that treat yourself very gently. Take multivatimins if you can. Eat foods you can tolerate, spend time in nature or get a pot plant, spend time doing low demand things your enjoy.

What methods do you use to hep regulate yourself?
Deep breathing - somatic - can be useful.
or something automatic and enjoyable. It could be baking cookies, or a walk or gardening. Just to calm yourself.