Horrible incident on train

[TheAverageJoanne]

On a train to Leeds. Woman chatting on the phone, quite loud to be fair in what sounded like Spanish and a man across the aisle kept saying loudly "shut up jabbering." Not to her, just in general. He then got up waved his hands around in front of this woman's face and started saying several times "Me no speaky language" thank god he got off at the next stop which was coming up. Fair play to her she carried on with her phone call. I doubt he'd have said this if it had been a man on the phone.

I think we need to appreciate that what can be seen as rude here isn’t rude elsewhere.

Except that I think we should always try to work out what local customs and views of rude or polite are. When in Rome ...

The woman talking loudly on the phone was rude. The man was racist and rude.

You have entirely misunderstood what I said and, having seen you at work on other threads, I won't be engaging.

I don't particularly want to engage with someone who thinks like you about people from other countries.

And I have no idea who you are.

Well it's not clear from the original post whether the woman was Spanish herself or was maybe English and just speaking to a Spaniard. In Spain they are noisier. She may not even realise her behaviour would be considered rude. That doesn't make it less irritating for those who have to listen but there is a difference between deliberate rudeness and simple ignorance of social norms.

However there's nothing normal about "me no speaky language"... Normal would have been to ask her to speak more quietly. "Me no speaky language"? Stupid and uneducated at best, but potentially also threatening and racist. Depends how you want to look at it and we weren't there.

Yes, Brits (and other foreigners) are sometimes racially abused in Spain, as they are elsewhere. Yes, they sometimes (quite often) behave in a way that makes it easy to understand why that would happen.

Please learn the difference between racism and xenophobia. Language matters.

They were both at fault. Poor communication. But the man more so. He could have said

Excuse me, you are disturbing everyone. Please could you speak more quietly, or take your call in the corridor between carriages.

But no, he was a racist misogynistic tosser.

He wouldn’t have acted the way he did if the loud phone person was a well built male.

Whatever happened to people wanting privacy on a phone call,and not wanting every tom dick and Harry to hear their call.

He is an arrogant pig and she is no better.

Sorry but I would have done similar I can't stand people yelling on phones on public transport I'd have told her to shut up as well and yes I'd have said it to a man too headphones exist use them! 😡

Oh please gotta love how women are suddenly victims when it suits them 😂😂😂 you wanted equality you got it!

I find it baffling that anyone can think that speaking a bit too loudly on the phone is just as bad as this man's behaviour.

Something similar happened to me in Germany. I was young, and interrailing alone. Didn't know any German. Went into a station cafe and pointed at a sandwich behind the glass counter. Said something in English. A bloke sitting down shouted at me - and I understood the "sprechen Deutsch" bit - "WHEN you are in Germany YOU SPEAK GERMAN!" Other people in the cafe had a go at him and were obviously really embarrassed. But it put me right off. I got on the next train outta there!
On the other side of the coin, was in Stansted a while back, looking for the right desk, saw Lubeck, then my desk. A big bloke wearing Lederhosen stood in front of me and said something to me. I didn't understand any of it apart from "Lubeck" so I pointed out the desk and he was very happy and thanked me in German!

Two wrongs don't make a right.

Can't see any evidence of the man being racist. But see plenty of him being xenophobic.

Wow this is genuinely the most ridiculous, missing the point and completely stupid comment I have ever read. Congratulations!

Regardless of her rudeness for speaking loudly, the wanker quite clearly wasn’t actually bothered about the volume, but it was the temerity of speaking “forrin” on an English train that bust his blood vessels. So he was a xenophobic, aggressive twat.

Similar happened to me once on a train in rural Cambs. I was on the phone to my DP and speaking in Italian, because guess what, he lives in Italy and doesn’t speak English. Some twat was rapidly getting more purple as the conversation went on, and ended up shouting out comments about him not understanding/speaking foreign or something along those lines. I had to interrupt my conversation to respond to him in crisp English tones that of course he couldn’t as was clearly quite ignorant and probably thick too. I think he was surprised that a) I wasn’t foreign and b) that I answered back calmly and refused to be intimidated as I went back to my conversation. Didn’t hear a peep from him afterwards.

and no, I wasn’t being loud, I was being completely discreetly British and talking at a normal volume.

I’ve spoken English countless times on public transport in Italy and no one has ever got offended.

Crisp English accent or not you are downright bloody rude to be making a call in a train carriage.

Not really, my DP called me as we had an emergency at home and I needed to impart instructions. Alas it couldn’t wait until I’d got off the train. But it’s quite normal, when travelling lots of people take calls, we just don’t shout them out. The other guy was rude, not me.

Someone who aggressively gets in another person’s face to verbally abuse them is actually a lot worse than talking on the phone.

Why is equality only raised by men (and a small group of women) when it relates to “equal rights, equal fights”? Silent on everything else but relish to opportunity to be aggressive or violent towards women in the name of “equality”. So odd.

Would a text not suffice? It's what I do if I have to make urgent contact. Because I find that the signal often breaks up on the train.

There are few things more annoying than someone talking loudly on the train I sympathise with him TBH

I find calling much quicker than texting, I have to say.

They were both in the wrong but the man was more in the wrong because he was deliberately rude and unpleasant whereas the woman was just inconsiderate.

Spanish people ‘can' refuse to give an old lady a seat (college students 'can' laugh at you on a crowded train),
As an old lady I did not find this. I tapped the arm of a young man playing on his phone seated in one of the granny seats. He looked up horrified, leapt to his feet, helped me to sit, and told his pal to get up and give my DH his seat.
Generally better than uk youngsters.

He sounds incredibly thick and rude .