Why would school refuse a call and insist on a meeting

[Insistingonit]

My dd is in year 5. Attendance hasn’t been good due to frequent illness. Once she got to 90% the school insisted on a GP appt to verify Illness each time which we did. We already supply the appt letters for appts in school time.

She is now at 88% . We have continued to provide proof of illness. They are insisting on speaking to us we agreed and said we will arrange a phone or video call. They said it has to be in person. Why? We are happy to discuss but don’t see the difference?

My son's attendance is lower than that and I haven't had any meetings or even had to provide any evidence. When he has an appointment, I just email them and that's it.

The school don't have to act this way at all. They should understand that you can't have more time off. Not to mention the fact that the meeting is a waste of time as you have provided evidence and the situation can't be helped. What are you supposed to do, apologise because she dared to get chicken pox and a couple of vomiting bugs?

They have to follow their policy.
Our policy is different so not all schools are the same. However, I must adhere to our policy and a complaint can be raised when I don’t.

It's crazy, isn't it? Kids with health issues, ND, families in poverty, parents with their own issues - never mind working with the individual children/families to give them the support they need, lets just threaten them 😥

You seem to be quite sure that this meeting is only about attendance. Is there any possibility that there may be something else they want to discuss with you in person - perhaps some incident that has happened in school that may have an impact on your DC, or aspects of her work or behaviour that have recently come to light that may cause them some concern?

Sadly there are also a lot of children whose parents either like their company at home or just can’t be bothered. We owe it to them to challenge absence so that their children gain an education. We have had an EHE child start this year in key stage two who can’t write their own name. I fully understand it is frustrating but we need to protect all children.

With common sense though, surely? If OP can't take more time off, she can't take more time off. A video call seems to be the next best thing if meeting before or after school isn't possible and as I said anyway, it still seems to be a waste of everyone's time considering OP has medical evidence and can't magically make her child not get chicken pox or a vomiting bug.

We can challenge absence but the OP has medical evidence and is happy to engage with the school, just in a way that means she keeps her job! Like I’ve said if there are separate safeguarding concerns ( we have no reasons to think there are from info given) home visits could be undertaken.

But even if that's their (misguided) policy, there is nothing to stop them explaining why it's their policy when they are talking to OP about it, along with the purpose of the meeting and what outcome they're hoping to achieve from it.

There is an obvious point staring us in the face here. The school is an organisation, with policies, protocols and procedures, and operating in a regulated environment. It is for the school to determine how things are done, not the parent, who is a private citizen and not a customer - unless the request from the school is unreasonable. This request is reasonable. It's for parents to respect the expertise of the school, although so many don't.

The school has legal responsibility for the pupil for at least 32.5 hours a week in term time. Asking a parent to dedicate 1 to 2 hours of their time to discuss a child who is repeatedly ill and in whose best interest one must assume they both act, is not in any way excessive.

Parental intervention in how a school is run is a pain in the *rse. Where do you draw the line? My neighbour objected to the mixing up of his child's class in year 4 and thought I could fix it for him as I was a governor. But my neighbour knows only his own child. The teachers know every child. My DD's y2 teacher was very strict about the children not wearing gloves when sitting on the carpet. I thought it was a bit ridiculous in our cold Winters but it wasn't worth fighting over.

None of this means I think parents should roll over like docile puppies and accept whatever schools want. A phone conversation I had in my DD's y10 about a PHSE lesson that was in my view ill conceived sticks in my memory. But choosing the moment to be the spanner in the works matters,

I’d tell them I’m happy to attend in person if they compensate me for the time I’ll have the be off. Holiday time has a price, as it’s part of your media. They can send the cash in advance.

Otherwise, they can speak via Teams like everyone else does.

This would give them a laugh. What a ridiculous response!

That definitely makes sense, it would be great if there was some kind of middle ground? I don't know if that's even possible.

88% is low and is concerning.

Even though verified by a GP?

What an absurd suggestion. The state educates our children (unless we pay to go private), school budgets are severely stretched, teachers are paying from their own pocket for basic supplies, and you want schools to dig even deeper to pay parents to spend an hour or two in school talking about their own child?

For the nth time on MN: it's not the pupils that are the reason for teachers leaving the profession. It's the parents.

The regular hospital appointments are for allergy clinic and dermatology as dd has allergies and eczema. She also had to have 6 sessions of physiotherapy last year after she hurt her leg.

When I had similar i just said sure, I could do 6.30pm.

Strangely I never heard back from them 😃

Do those who are complaining also expect parents evening to be face to face because it’s not the same online? Just wondering and not being facetious.

What an interesting question.

But it was.challenged. The OP was asked.to.supply medical evidence and did. This should be the end. If not, what was the point of.asking for said evidence?

There is actually a huge difference seeing someone in person and looking them in the eye, I'm sure your DC is fined, but in other cases it may be important to see the parents in person.

For the nth time on MN: it's not the pupils that are the reason for teachers leaving the profession. It's the parents.

Teachers I've known over the years it's always always come down to senior management.

Like I said in my original comment on this thread, my son's attendance is lower than OP's child and this isn't anywhere close to how they have dealt with it so it does feel unreasonable to me since OP has medical evidence. It would be reasonable to me if OP didn't have any medical evidence and couldn't explain her child's multiple absences.

OP isn't refusing to work with the school or making unreasonable demands and has provided all medical evidence they have asked for. She just can't lose her job and take any more time off work which is understandable, especially for a meeting to discuss genuine absences with medical evidence they already have.

I really think this is ridiculous. My DD’s attendance is currently 90%. It was 86%, but has crept up after a period of less illness. The reason for her absence was a really nasty chest infection, and she was very unwell with this for at least a few weeks. Some of those days, she did go to school, but had a solid week and a half off. She was in and out the doctors multiple times during that time, as she also has some underlying health issues. She sees 3 different specialists at 3 different hospitals due to her medical needs, and whenever she has an appointment, she misses either the morning register or the afternoon register. My friends child recently went on a school trip and that was classed as an “authorised absence” and her child’s attendance percentage took a hit.

Where there is a clear medical issue, schools are putting at risk the wellbeing of these children by mounting more and more pressure on parents, who are already facing challenging circumstances. It’s not fair and I am firmly against it! In circumstances where there is persistent absence with no medical verification of this, I can see why a school may want a face to face meeting with parents, however with all the evidence you’ve supplied and all the contact with external professionals, such as the GP, I feel like this is completely unreasonable and unjustified. It’s mounting pressure on you for your child’s attendance to improve, despite their being clear medical evidence of her ill health. I am against this.

'Everyone else' on a teams meeting probably isn't trying to see how a child reacts to being with the parent, and the dynamic between them. This may- or may not- be why the case here.
Just go to the bloody meeting and stop being so difficult.

What?! Verification of what? How can they ask for proof of something they sent a child home for? That doesn’t make sense. I would ask them before they sent her home..

Schools are not supposed to ask for GP appts etc for routine illness. It literally says that on the gov guideline about absence.