At the end of my tether with weight!

[FrumpyFedUp]

Not sure if this is the right topic to post this in but here goes:

I’m currently very overweight (5’3 and 13 stone).

For a little bit of background, as a teenager I had an eating disorder and was incredibly skinny. I think this now feeds into my issues around restricting food as I worry I will go too far back into my old mindset.

I work a highly competitive corporate job. I don’t want to say exactly what it is here in case it is outing. But I work very long days and pretty much sit behind a desk for most of it.

I truly cannot remember the last time I didn’t hate my body. When I was in the depths of an eating disorder I thought it was fat, now I am actually fat and feel just as bad.

I desperately want to lose weight but I’m really struggling.

I go to an exercise class one day per week - basically the only day I leave work at a sensible time. I can’t attend any more due to my job. I will say I love my job and I generally don’t mind the hours but it makes doing things like exercise hard to fit in.

As my job is so high pressure I find myself reaching for quick and easy snacks and food, this is where I have tried to make the most change. I’m trying to increase my intake of fruit/veg and cut down on easy but unhealthy snacks etc.

I get in from work very late, but I still have to be the one to make dinner. This means we often end up with something easy and quick rather than healthy. I’m trying to find some good recipes that are also quite quick! As well as persuading my husband to do some of the cooking.

My one vice I’m unwilling to give up is a Coke Zero at lunchtime! I find it curbs my craving for a sweet treat whilst still being low calorie etc.

I’m wondering if anyone is in a similar position? Or if anyone has any advice?

I just feel really stuck because it’s not as simple as ‘do more exercise’ type thing.

On the cooking every night thing I can recommend recipe boxes like Gousto or Hello Fresh. We started getting them for the same reason that DH is not a good cook and I work long hours. You can choose carefully for healthy options and all the calorie counts are published so it’s easy to keep track. It’s given DH confidence to crack on with cooking before I get in because all the instructions are there so it’s foolproof.

On the sedentary job front I think you need to sneak little bits of exercise into your day. Can you get a standing desk and/ or a walking pad and make sure to take breaks, put a lunchtime walk in your diary and you will work better if you do that.

The obvious option that lots of people at my work have taken is just to get on the jabs of course. It sounds as though if you have a big job you could afford it.

I have looked at Gousto before so might give that one a try!

Unfortunately I wouldn’t be allowed to swap my desk for a standing one so that’s out, but I do think booking time to go for a walk at lunch is a good idea - especially with the weather getting nicer!

I don’t want to take weight loss injections really, and even if I did whilst I have a high pressure and stressful job I am certainly not well paid for it (approx 27k a year) so it’s not in my budget at the moment

Slight different situation for me: Work face paced job (30 hours). I basically go from dropping kids off to work to picking kids up, kids activities, home, bath and bed. Limited time for cooking and exercise.
I don't want to go on WLJs. Mainly because of cost but also because of the side effects.

I meal prep at the weekend so it is basically a reheat and go dinner in the week. I also prep breakfast and lunch in the week for me to stick to calories. Its alot easier to think about it at the weekend than in a the mad rush in the mornings.
Calorie counting using an app - i pre plan my days for the week in advance so I know what I am eating snack wise etc.
I got a walking pad for home so the limited time I do have I walk on that at home. e.g. watching tv etc.
When I got a lunch break (I don't know because of my hours) I would go for a walk for 75% of it and eat quickly when I got back to me desk.

Its not easy and I find it really hard to lose weight despite calorie counting and exercising. sometimes it is just slow for some people.

I'd hope that they wouldn't be prescribed to a person with a history of eating disorders.

I have a history of anorexia but have been a bit over weight since having kids so ive recently been trying to lose a few lbs (I'm aiming for just over a stone to be precise). To be perfectly honest I have found it a bit triggering. I find it easier to eat healthily and the right amount of calories if I plan what I'm going to eat all day in advance. Knowing what meal / snack I'm going to have and at what time seems to be helping me lose weight without restricting too much. It also stops me reaching for biscuits etc. (Yes I realise that sounds like a contradiction, it's complicated!)

I agree with plotting everything in a calorie counting app like My Fitness Pal. It makes it obvious what are the patterns and bad habits where you need to make changes and for me knowing that I have to log something often stops me from eating it in the first place (obviously this only works if you do log everything honestly). Mine also connects to a smartwatch/ phone and logs your steps in the app too.

I share your pain. I’m 19 stone and 5ft 7in. I’m healthy at 67 despite the weight so don’t want to compromise that with jabs. Truly a struggle thirty years long (that’s not a cue for the righteous to tell me how to put it right!).
A suggestion is to plan meals a day ahead. That way you’ll feel more in control and you can ask Mr Lazy to start a task whilst you’re on your way home - put the potatoes on, heat the oven, whatever. Some men need managing by clear instruction.

Hi OP, I was 5’4 and I weighed just over 13st just after having both my children. Both times I’ve managed to loose 4st.
I do have an exercise bike at home, so I can choose to do a quick 10 minute cycle or a hour, I normally do a hour, some days I don’t have the motivation but because the bike is at home I can’t really avoid it 🙈 have you got space for anything to help? I also found cutting out snacks hard, but if I have a craving I normally has something sweet but less calories, also drinking more water helped me too!

We live in a tiny house so not much room for anything like that! I have a yoga mat so I do sometimes try and do at home workouts on that but again it’s just finding the time. I have considered a foldable walking pad then at least I could walk and watch tv etc (I don’t want to spend my only downtime exercising!)

I think this is a good idea! I’m so knackered I can just never think but perhaps on a weekend it’s easier to think about. I find lunches harder really because by the time I get in the last thing I want to do is make meals for tomorrow

I’m glad there’s someone here who’s in a similar position to me!

my goal at the moment is to vaguely track calories but without going to the microscopic lens of MyFitnessPal as that ruled me in my ED years! I think planning sort of “i’ll have an apple if I want a snack in the morning and a granola bar if I want a snack in the afternoon” is useful and means I don’t then reach for the crisps etc!

Plan ahead where you can. Pack your lunches. Protein shakes for lunch a couple of times a week. Stir fry or salmon and veg etc for quick and healthy dinner options. Skipping rope for 10/15 mins in the garden when you can.

The Batch from Scratch TV series, although often cringe and repetitive, does actually have some good ideas for batch cooking and can be quite motivational.

Granola bars may be high in sugar. Something like pistachios are a good snack as they contain healthy fats, protein and fibre so help you to feel full whilst also lowering cholesterol. Light exercise after you eat helps to prevent blood sugar spikes. That could be a 10-20 minute walk, standing calf raises, or even just continuous tapping of your feet whilst sitting at a desk.

I am right there with you -same height & weight & Diet Coke not zero & hating myself too. I don’t have quite a such a high pressure job but just can’t seem to take the long long time it’s going take. Sadly I can’t do the jabs and know I have to stop doing my fitness pal half heartedly but it’s so hard to see the path. I feel your pain.

Chat gtp has been hugely helpful. I get tired really easy and cooking is the last thing I want to do on my downtime.

I got a speedi 12 in one which is fantastic for dump and leave to cook recipes and a rice cooking for thanks like egg fried rice (also dump and go)

chat gtp got me cooking x4 or x5 what a need and freezing the rest. I supplement with things like egg fried rice in the rice cooker where needed. Im to the stage I only actually need to bulk cook one meal once a week and not even that if I really dont want.

I now have enough in my freezer to last a month of work days without cooking at all beyond sitting a homemade block of food in the microwave. It takes up about half my freezer (the rest is frozen veg). Im just cooking for me, you might need more if your cooking for a family's

Id worry that my fitness pal or something might set you off. If you set the parameters on the chat bots first (total calories for the day but dont tell me, food you like or not) you aren't directly counting calories, you're following a suggested meal plan.

I really like the idea of a meal plan that is calorie restricted but without me having too much knowledge!! That’s always been my concern re MyFitnessPal, I know I can easily slip into counting even seasonings etc etc and falling into a really unhealthy mindset with it. When I was knee deep in food issues I still wasn’t eating healthy, I’d maybe eat a few hundred calories a day but those calories were all crap (crisps etc) because they were easy to eat and looked ‘normal’ as if I was having a snack etc. I’m very conscious of not going back down that rabbit hole!

Can you get up and go for a walk before work? 45 mins a day will help

Not really, I already get up at 7am, and am not usually in bed until 11 or 12. I’m already struggling with lack of sleep so I think getting up any earlier would finish me off!

I do think I’m going to try and push harder to take some time in the middle of the day to go for a walk, especially as the weather is getting nicer

So breakfast for me is 2 eggs and mushrooms (although chat tried out a variety of oat and Greek yoghurt options onme)a , i have either egg fried rice (spinach, frozen veg, frozen soy beans, 3 veg portions), sone other egg and rice dish (both cooked two portions at a rice in the rice cooker) or Spanish omlette (8 portion batch, frozen), both of which come in just over 300cal. A 400-500cal dinner (all of which are set up by chat gtp) usually 100g-125g protein source, at least two veg (like lemon and mushroom chicken) and a carb.

I can eat a different main thing every night for about a fornight now although I lean heavily on root mash (100g potatoes, 100g frozen cauliflower, 80g swede because its a cheap way of boasting veg and goes with everything).

I have some spare calories left over for my rampant coffee obsession.

I bulk cook a root veg mash about once a fortnight, Spanish omlette once a month and a main dish which might involve chopping once a week. All the rice cooker meals are dump and go and do two days.

I really dont cook much anymore but eat a good variety of food.

It seems to me the obvious thing to do is change your job to one which involves working fewer hours. There must be lots of options at your salary - then you'd have time and energy for exercising or cooking well
have ignored lazy husband issue

I’ve tried really hard to resist saying this as I know it sounds glib, but you can easily lose a load of dead weight by getting rid of your useless husband.

Is there a good reason you work such long hours for £27k? Sounds like you’re on less than minimum wage per hour.

I also have a history of disordered eating when younger. I’ve been a healthy weight for many years, but there have been times when I’ve put more on than I’m happy with and wanted to lose a bit. I find it better to go at it hard in a limited period than to be in a perpetual diet mindset. That’s easier when it’s only around 5kg to lose, and I need to ramp up the exercise to manage it. But the approach might be helpful to you too - think of it as for 3/6/12 months, get in and get out!

I’d look for other jobs, you earn just above min wage, and it feels like the hours you do make your pay below it, so it is illegal, for 40 hours a week national minimum wage is 25 and a half k,

so I’d look for another role, one better paid and reasonable hours, thay will then allow you to focus more on yourself,

but quite frankly your employer is taking rhe piss.

I think you’ve got a few problems to solve
sleep
stress
family
job
diet

For £27k you shouldn’t be working beyond your contracted hours, if you are then they are taking the piss.

I wouldn’t worry about exercise, it won’t make much difference.

Thinking about your meals and prioritising protein and fibre and really considering portion size will go a long way.

I don't know how far away from home you work but can you walk or cycle to work or part of the way? Often it doesn't actually take longer than driving through town/city centre traffic so it's a really good way of fitting exercise into a busy work life