At the end of my tether with weight!

[FrumpyFedUp]

Not sure if this is the right topic to post this in but here goes:

I’m currently very overweight (5’3 and 13 stone).

For a little bit of background, as a teenager I had an eating disorder and was incredibly skinny. I think this now feeds into my issues around restricting food as I worry I will go too far back into my old mindset.

I work a highly competitive corporate job. I don’t want to say exactly what it is here in case it is outing. But I work very long days and pretty much sit behind a desk for most of it.

I truly cannot remember the last time I didn’t hate my body. When I was in the depths of an eating disorder I thought it was fat, now I am actually fat and feel just as bad.

I desperately want to lose weight but I’m really struggling.

I go to an exercise class one day per week - basically the only day I leave work at a sensible time. I can’t attend any more due to my job. I will say I love my job and I generally don’t mind the hours but it makes doing things like exercise hard to fit in.

As my job is so high pressure I find myself reaching for quick and easy snacks and food, this is where I have tried to make the most change. I’m trying to increase my intake of fruit/veg and cut down on easy but unhealthy snacks etc.

I get in from work very late, but I still have to be the one to make dinner. This means we often end up with something easy and quick rather than healthy. I’m trying to find some good recipes that are also quite quick! As well as persuading my husband to do some of the cooking.

My one vice I’m unwilling to give up is a Coke Zero at lunchtime! I find it curbs my craving for a sweet treat whilst still being low calorie etc.

I’m wondering if anyone is in a similar position? Or if anyone has any advice?

I just feel really stuck because it’s not as simple as ‘do more exercise’ type thing.

Without revealing too much on the job front, it’s very expected in my industry to act this way as a junior colleague. In approx 3 years i’ll get a massive pay increase and it’ll make this period of blood sweat and tears worth it!

I work in the next city over (around a 45 min drive) so this isn’t an option, I am trying to drive less when I need to pop into town on a weekend etc

I struggle too.

Could you shive something in the slow cooker for dinner?

I batch cook a Vege chilli most weeks and have that most nights with different sides.

I have made a real effort this week as feel so rubbish.

Apple and peanut butter help me mid afternoon

I think you’re right. To be honest, I’d like to walk more so I think taking some time at lunch to do so would be good, but otherwise I’ve never been super into exercise and am not necessarily chomping at the bit to do any more (I just mentioned that I also don’t have time as I thought it would be the first thing people would say!)

i definitely need to tackle sleep/stress.

I also think sorting portions and making better food choices is probably my biggest thing, it’s just easier said than done!

I have ordered a trial gousto box to see if that makes anything any easier

Can you share what a typical day looks like with eating, being as honest as you can? Weekday and weekend. Do you drink?

Id say weekdays are typically:
breakfast - either nothing, a piece of fruit or a few snack a jack rice cakes
lunch - meal deal, Greggs or something similar (anything quick!)
dinner - again something quick, usually along the lines of chicken/sausages, oven chips and some peas or carrots
snacks: usually some crisps whilst at work

weekends usually:
no breakfast
lunch - sandwich and crisps
dinner - something healthier as I have more time - stir fry, salmon and potatoes, salt & pepper chicken with lots of veg
not much snacking

I don’t drink regularly, only if we have friends around or if it’s a special occasion. Probably on average drink around once a month ish

Cool, thanks for sharing.

breakfast - protein! That can be anything from a protein shake, eggs or Greek yoghurt. I’d recommend a weighed out portion of Greek yoghurt, frozen raspberries and a weighed portion of crunchy bran. You could do the berries and yoghurt the night before and weigh out the bran in a small portion pot and take to work.

lunches - you can grab a meal deal but you need to get clever. Salads, boiled eggs, fruit or veg as the snack option.

snacks - again, think protein and fibre. Cathedral cheddar cheese nibbles, a load of grapes and some ryvita thins or rice cakes will fill you up.

Dinners - stir fry takes 10 minutes, salmon and veg takes 20. You definitely have time to make those on week nights. Think about your prep and how you are cooking things. I use lots of frozen veg as it’s quick and easy. Also look at prepped pouches of grains, they microwave really fast and you can serve them with steamed veg and grilled chicken or fish.

chatgpt can help with 20 minute meals that fit what you need.

The problem with crisps and meal deals is that they are loaded with empty calories and so you aren’t satisfied. Think about volume, fruit and veg are so low calorie but really filling. Carrots, celery, peppers and great for snacks with salsa or hummus and much more likely to fill you up. Same with low fat Greek yoghurt, protein is a great start and really easy to do.

Sounds like you’ve fallen into survival mode and now need to prioritise getting into easy healthy habits.

I know you don’t want to track everything you eat in detail, but what you’ve described does not look like enough calories to make and keep you very overweight. It’s not a very good, balanced diet, but to me doesn’t add up to more than 1800-2000 calories. You’re reasonably short and inactive, but your maintenance will also be higher if you’re overweight. Are you eating very large portions? Cooking with lots of fat? Snacking more than your realise?

Why are you the one cooking when you get home late? Or do you live alone?

If you ask for a standing desk as a reasonable adjustment for your bad back, your employer will have to provide it.

Don't eat granola bars! They're just as bad as as eating sweets, as they're full of sugar and pretty much all of them are UPF and full of palm fat and emulsifiers and artificial this, that and the other. They have little to no actual nutritional value.

Eat real food. So, if you feel you definitely need to eat a snack, make it a handful of nuts, or a piece of fruit.

Don't get too hung up on the calories. Think more about the quality of the food that you're eating. Avoid cakes, sweets, biscuits, crisps as much as possible. Fill up on vegetables, fish, chicken, beans and pulses.

One of the quickest meals I make is veggie chilli.
When you get home, boil some water in the kettle. Measure out some bulgur wheat into a bowl (enough for the two of you, according to appetite), pour boiling water over the bulgar, to cover it and a few centimeters above it and leave it for about 10-15 minutes to absorb the water.

Meanwhile, open a tin of kidney beans and a tin of black beans. Drain and rinse. Tip them into a shallow pan with a can or two of chopped tomatoes, a couple of handfuls of frozen peas and/or frozen sweetcorn and a blob of tomato paste. Add some garlic and some chilli powder, to taste. Heat and simmer until it reduces and thickens slightly.

Tip the bulgur into a sieve to remove any remaining water and then divide between two warmed pasta bowls. Spoon the chill on top.

It takes about 15 minutes from start to finish.

Alternatively, how about a vegetable traybake? Put the oven on to 180° Fan. Slice up one aubergine, one courgette, one onion and one pepper (any colour).

Line a large baking tray with a silicone sheet or with baking parchment. Chuck the veggies on the tray. Drizzle a generous slug of olive oil over it and mix it around with your hands, then spread it out.

Pop it in the oven for 20 minutes or so. In the meantime, open a can of chickpeas and rinse and drain. Put them in a bowl with some olive oil and your choice of spice or dried herbs . I quite like using harissa paste in mine, but you might prefer something else.

After the 20 minutes are up, take the tray out of the oven and add the chickpeas to it and mix them around. Put it back in the oven for approx 15-20 minutes.

In the meantime, make some peanut sauce. Using the bowl that had the chickpeas in, put two tablespoons of smooth peanut butter and a generous slug of soy sauce (maybe about a tablespoon. Mix with a whisk (not an electric one). Gradually add water while whisking, till you have a fairly runny mixture. Then add chilli powder or curry powder or ginger (whatever you want, to spice it up). Mix well. Microwave for 30 seconds, mix again.

When the veggies are cooked, remove tray from oven and serve the veggies and chickpeas into warmed bowls. Spoon over the peanut sauce and then scatter some mixed seeds on top.

TBF if you are going to vaguely track calories it's not going to work well. You have to know exactly what Ur taking in and spending. I have been maintaining for two months after a two stone loss and I hadn't been tracking well. I have literally tracked hard for two weeks and not gone over by deficit and lost two pound

Yes your diet is a quite unhealthy, and you’re eating enough to gain or maintain.

you need to plan your meals better, cut out the crisps, stop with rh3 Greggs meal deals, bring something healthy with you, you can shop at the weekend.

cur out the chips as your evening meal, thay and sausages can be quite calorific.

you need to start planning better, so you can eat quickly and healthy

Just with regards my husband, I do agree he needs to do more cooking wise. Without making too many excuses for him, he was never ever taught to cook and therefore struggles to cook a hot dog! I am slowly teaching him easy meals but obviously that’s even more time! So if I want him to cook it’s easier to say bang a pizza in the oven than it is to say make this meal that will take him ages and need help. He absolutely makes up for it in other ways. He does a lot of the cleaning, and washing, and also does all the washing up. So he does pull his weight around the house, just not necessarily with food. I actually like cooking (when I have time!) which is why it always made sense for me to do it. When we moved in together I had a much less stressful job and generally always did these things no problem

I think I need to make better choices with things like low fat sausages instead of normal etc. I’m going to try preparing granola/fruit/yoghurt to have at lunchtime as it’s easy ish to prepare but is healthier and still filling.

I struggle with snacking and I do often want that ‘treat’ so I think I need to do better with buying smaller packs of crisps or having something small like a freddo when I fancy these things.

I’m not going to be the person to tell you to have a carrot instead of a Freddo or how evil bananas are, they’ll be here soon enough.

Cadbury delight bars, fibre one bars, Kit Kats (multipack), proper chips and their popcorn, low calorie jelly pots, and quavers etc are all great snack options.

Sausages are generally crap. Heck Italian chicken sausages are a good swap. Or if the family are having sausages then season and grill yourself a salmon fillet or chicken breast.

Buying foods with natural end points and stopping seeing junky things as a treat is a break through, but give it time.

We did gousto for years and it meant my husband got a lot more confident in the kitchen. You can choose meals based on your food preferences.

Find coping strategies for stress and think about other ways to celebrate and treat yourself. Massage / a new book / new hand cream / an exercise class / a morning of annual leave just for you.

Husband can definitely cook a stir for you can buy it all pre done and he just needs to follow tje very basic steps.

Thank you for all the advice and kindness, I do really appreciate it!

With my history around food I certainly don’t want to go down the route of “all sugary things are bad” etc so I’m going to try hard to make savvy swaps rather than cutting out entirely!

Looking forward to trying Gousto and I’m going to put a real effort into cooking with husband so he can take some of the cooking responsibility too.

I am guilty of rewarding myself with food, so I love the suggestion of treating myself to other things. I love reading so honestly the idea of having a morning off and lounging with a good book and a brew sounds ideal! I might try and book some mornings off to take some time to myself and try to see that as my reward for eating better :)

I've had success with intermittent fasting, but please do skip on if you feel it may be difficult with a history of ED.

I only eat between 12pm and 8pm. I control calories in my eating window, aiming for a 500cal deficit which I achieve by eating only two meals and one snack. Not eating at night has cut out a lot of snacking on rubbish. I have black tea, black coffee or water during the fast. After about two weeks I started to not miss breakfast and found drinking water stopped hunger pangs instantly.

I can hand on heart say I have found it easier than I thought I would. Having a set time to eat really helps me to stay on track. I also find that as I only have two meals a day I really want them to be good for me so I am making better choices. I'm also sleeping better.

How about making overnight oats to have at lunch. Add frozen or tinned fruit. I love a bit of tinned peaches and frozen raspberries in mine.
This might keep you filled up better for the afternoon.

This thread has gone a little quiet but just wanted to update that today I went for a 30 min walk on lunch! It might not be much to most but it’s a big deal for me to have taken that much time out of work.

my goal for the week is to complete my Apple Watch rings every day! I feel like any step towards feeling better is great :)

Hey, Just found this - wanted to come say I am rooting for you!! .
Rooting for you! I am in a similar position - a sedentary 40hrs a week one! I've been trying for 16 years after putting back in pregnancy I lost before, and I admit I have resorted to the jabs as barriers to keep me in the lane. I did lose about 28kg just with diet restriction (ULCD) and walking back in 2024.
You still have to do all the other stuff, but it just takes away some of the feelings around food.

I see you have been given some good advice. The protein one really is key btw...carbs are needed, but they will hook you in. Better to make sure they are fruit based, or cooked (frozen)and cooled tatties, rice, bread and pulses.

It is hard when its also stress related.

I am the office manager and its my job to buy all the office snacks - Despite all being a form of gym bro, they want choc and crisps and crap! So thatls like constantly 5m away from me all day. We work on the ground floor, so no stairs etc. Vey sedentary.

I just got told today that OH is away offshore this evening for dunno how long. I already feel crappy and overwhelmed at work (I have been left to deal with 2 civil tenders - My role is clerical management - not engineering!). I bought 3 almond croissants (my current obsession) to last the week (mon/wed/fri) and my stressed ass just ate all 3 and now wants to be sick (also I note that the jab has clearly worn off 2 days early).

What I have found is that you can either really diet, or you can up your output, but trying to do both can be counter productive. The is a good lady on tiktok/instagram - Dr Gordon Obesity Medicine.
As its not as simple as IN V OUT for women.

I find that going somewhere for a walk - with the reward of a Coffee (not cake!) helps. Especially if its pretty. Like removing yourself from the normal.
Or find a park with a circular route, pop on an audiobook and walk as you listen - I have found SO much time can be lost that way, so you don't realize your walking. If you are social, there are usually also ladies walking groups locally - we have a few on FB (I am not so much a chatter to non friends so have avoided), but they look to have a good time.

ALSO, whilst not an exact science - body comp scales. I like to see the fat % move - as sometimes you dont lose weight but that changes.
And if you like data - keep a spreadsheet log of what your doing. That's what I have nearly 2 years worth of data. I can see where holidays, hormones and other humans have affected me 😂

What about The Body Coach? Aka Joe Wicks. He doesn’t believe in diets and tailors an exercise and food plan. £89.99 a year for the app. The workouts are 10/20/30 minutes and are brilliant. You don’t need equipment for them either.

You can ask ChatGPT to do the same for free, or put it together yourself from YouTube videos. I did the trial for Joe wickes and could not see anything really worth the money.

I honestly think you need to change your attitude about your body. Why do you hate it? It’s literally kept you alive your whole life and hatred with addiction (and yes Im thinking food addiction) makes it so much worse. You end up eating to punish yourself.

You can be overweight and unhealthy and still love your body. Focus on weight loss for health, just like you had to be healthy after an eating disorder before. Sure, some days will be better than other. Some days you’ll overeat again. So what? Take the feeling about your poor body out of it. Imagine it’s somebody else. Youre a successful woman so you can absolutely focus on fuelling your body and being healthy. Good luck to you.

That’s amazing. If you keep doing that it will become a really good healthy habit and it will make a big difference over time. Doing a little bit every day is actually makes more difference than occasionally doing a big splurge.

The other stuff I do in that general spirit is to look for easy wins like I have a rule that I don’t use lifts or escalators I always take the stairs and it just puts a little bit of exercise into my day for free.

If you don’t want to full on calorie count (and I get why you wouldn’t) you can go the route of adding some healthy things and that sort of pushes out the room for less healthy stuff.

eg I made a resolution to drink more water recently (stopped drinking alcohol too). Apparently a lot of times we think we are hungry we might actually be thirsty and I’ve found that to be true. I don’t really like just plain water and I never used to drink it I’d only have tea or coffee but I have started having it chilled and adding some lemon or lime slices or even some mint leaves and it makes it a lot nicer and feels like a treat and I often find I no longer want a snack after having my chilled water.