If your milestone birthday fell on a saturday, would you have your birthday bash on a different weekend because your very close friend couldn't make it ?

[djdukeandrobbyraz]

She has a fairly valid reason (can't disclose as outting).

Thoughts ?

I want it on that Saturday night, as it makes sense, but don't want to upset her

You clearly don't like her much, so why are you even considering not having your birthday party ON YOUR BIRTHDAY - just because this woman cannot make it then?!!!

Have it on the weekend of your birthday @djdukeandrobbyraz !

You obviously don’t care if she’s there or not, so just have it on your birthday

Well it's about time that she learned that it doesn't.

Do you have family? Relatives who actually love you and want to celebrate with you on the day itself? Then they (and you) come first, and friend gets told that you're sorry she's not available.

I'd never have my party on the actual day, as I love stretching out bdays 😍

I think this is rather crucial.

You haven't said

"We go back years, I really want her to be there"
or
"We always socialise together, it won't be the same without her"
or
"We always have such a laugh - it would be a real downer if she's not there to start the dancing"
etc

You are worried about upsetting her

I mean, I would have reminded my dh and my dc to keep the date free months ahead, checked the dc that works shifts can get the time off, and then booked it, not consulted friends. The first the friends would know would be when they received the invitations. If someone can't come (inevitable if a bigger do), then I think "Oh, that's a shame" and carry on.

Then, for actual friends, rather than anyone who thought other peoples lives revolved around them I would do something else the week before or afterwards - lunch or a day out or a meal in the evening.

Why are you asking then?
Its your birthday, have your celebration when you want to

It really depends on the exact scenario. I’d definitely change the date to accommodate one of my very favourite people who would make the party so much better for her being there.
AND I’d happily go with the (Saturday) date I want if having her there wouldn’t make a lot of difference to me having a good time and it was a better date for everyone else.

“She thinks everything should revolve around her”

OP, it’s your birthday, and you call the shots. If you want your birthday party on the actual day of your birthday, then do that. If you really, really want your friend there and she can’t make the date, then you will have to have the party on another day. The bottom line is: your birthday, your choice. It seems you would like your party on your birthday, so just do it. Sorry friend, that your daughter is getting married that day/ your grandmother is celebrating her ninetieth birthday/ you have to go to your son’s graduation/ you’ve already booked a holiday, but my birthday has been on this day for x many years and that’s when the party will be.

Spot on.

If she has a go because you won't change your birthday celebrations for her, then tell her that you're celebrating your birthday on your birthday and she is invited and you're sorry that she can't make it, but if she wants to take you out separately then that's nice.

I would have my party with or without my friend there naturally but me and my bothers have celebrated each others birthdays a week later than the actual date sometimes earlier.