If your milestone birthday fell on a saturday, would you have your birthday bash on a different weekend because your very close friend couldn't make it ?

[djdukeandrobbyraz]

She has a fairly valid reason (can't disclose as outting).

Thoughts ?

I want it on that Saturday night, as it makes sense, but don't want to upset her

I had 2 different kinds of events. 1 was the weekend before and one on the Saturday of my birthday. Everyone I wanted to be there could come to 1 or the other. Some people came to both.

“Bash” 🫠

I guess it depends what matters more to you, celebrating on the day itself or having the people you want there? Or does it mean if you moved it to another date, your friend could make it but others couldn’t?

You could always do a double celebration on different days so your friend can come.

I moved my 50th to a week after my birthday as it suited things more. No issue whatsoever. Still felt like my special day so I would move it if I wanted them to attend.

Yes I’d wait. I am not precious about my birthday or celebrating in the specific day though.

Nope

If everyone else could make it on your actual birthday then I’d probably go ahead and do something else with my other friend.
I think the reason for not being available might influence my decision though. I’d generally avoid booking anything for my best friends birthday.

Interesting that you haven’t said “because I desperately want her there” but rather “I don’t want to upset her”.

As much as she has a valid reason for not being there, you have a valid reason for having your party on that particular day - Surely she would understand that you’d want a party on your actual birthday especially because it’s a Saturday. Why on earth would that upset her.

That’s the thing about parties, no mater which day you pick some people won’t be able to make it. What if other people can’t make it on other dates?Do you have her on such a pedestal that all plans for your birthday must revolve around her?

She’s been nominated for an Academy Award so will be en route to LA on the night in question?

God are you lot adults?!?

The party and the memories are the point - who cares exactly what day that happens??

So you’d DELIBERATELY choose to have a less good time and possibly offend your BEST FRIEND just so you could say it was on your birthday?!

I do not understand that one little bit. It’s petty and childish in the extreme!

Yes, I'd move it. In fact I'm celebrating my milestone birthday a year early so I can be with friends who are a year older than me. But it's up to you. I don't think you are unreasonable either way.

She thinks everything should revolve around her

Nope. Your birthDAY is your birthday, And I say that as someone who really doesn't give a toss. Especially now, after so many ! But my BEST friend insists that we do a special thing on the day that IS the day, and I grumble along, and end up having a fantastic time because she's done all the leg work (after 36 years, she knows - ha ha) So, your 'bestie' has to show up or shut up, You cannot change the actual date your mum brought you kicking and screaming into the world (thankfully) and that means something, ...you can have a party just for her 🤷‍♀️
But it won't be your BIRTHday.

No, I wouldn’t. I would fully take advantage of my birthday being on a Saturday and meet the friend another weekend she was free.

Christmas day presumably? 😊

Definitely not in that case. It’s your birthday not hers. So hold it on whatever date suits you (plus forget her invite).

enjoy your big birthday op

Change your friends rather than change the date?

Yes

Yes, have it the week before. Then spend the week spoiling yourself, then do something else special on the day of your bday

Yes, have it the week before. Then spend the week spoiling yourself, then do something else special on the day of your bday

Could be something peculiar to that person.

That comment alone tells me you’d resent moving your birthday party for her

Just tell us why she can’t attend your actual birthday! Then we can judge.

Why are you pussyfooting around her? It’s your birthday, your big day, not hers! If she can’t make it, so be it.

Have your party on your birthday, and enjoy it! Don’t feel guilty . If she says anything, just say you wanted to celebrate on your birthday/majority of friends and family Coukd make that date/ venue availability etc, and suggest you do something special with her another day. Give yourself permission to plan something without her consent, And Enjoy It!

I'm wondering why too!