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Why does my mum seem annoyed anytime good times happen to me ?

74 replies

Whatisthisweirdness · 03/03/2026 16:54

For example, get a big promotion
.....response, a flat annoyed oh

Boom a trip to somewhere once ina lifetime kinda thing, again flat, annoyed voice saying oh, in the tone ive down something wrong

Etc etc etc

Wtf is that about ? And how would you respond to the oh

OP posts:
Whatisthisweirdness · 03/03/2026 17:15

How would you respond to the oh

OP posts:
Shedmistress · 03/03/2026 17:18

I'd probably stop telling her stuff.

TheMorgenmuffel · 03/03/2026 17:19

some people just can't be happy for others because they aren't happy in themselves.

I'd just stop telling her stuff tbh. Take a step back.

Meant to ask - how does she react when you tell her your bad news?

Randomuser2026 · 03/03/2026 17:20

Definitely don’t tell her stuff. She’s jealous and a begrudger - presumably not reserved just for you as a character trait?

ThejoyofNC · 03/03/2026 17:20

Maybe she's a miserable cow?

Moveoverdarlin · 03/03/2026 17:21

My in laws respond to everything in a monotone ‘oh right’. Makes me want to scream.

I then always push them. And say ‘What d’you think? Good isn’t it? You would think I just told you I had a terminal illness, not a promotion! Are you pleased for me?

Push her. You may not get much more back but I enjoy watching them squirm.

AmberSpy · 03/03/2026 17:21

Bit difficult to say without more context about your relationship. Has she had a comfortable life herself, or a difficult one? Did she get the opportunity to pursue a career for herself? Has she always behaved like this towards you, or is it something you've noticed recently?

Newgirls · 03/03/2026 17:30

She’s not happy in herself. Save your lovely news for friends who are on your side. And be proud of yourself

onelumporthree · 03/03/2026 17:30

Has she always been in the habit of belittling your achievements?

BiscoffCheesecakes · 03/03/2026 17:33

My best friend's parents are like this. The same reaction when she told them she may have cancer & when she passed her exams. Total narcissists

simpledeer · 03/03/2026 17:36

I have a mother just like that. She would rejoice when things were shit for me, and be utterly dejected when good things happened.

It took many years for me to realise she hated me. I am NC now. Best thing I ever did.

If you can’t face NC right now, go VLC. Put her on an information diet.

SamphiretheTervosaur · 03/03/2026 17:40

Mine used nod and suggest Dsis needed it more, would use it better, could do it better

Dsis was mortified

I stopped talking to DM

Dsis and I did too, eventually

SEmyarse · 03/03/2026 17:40

My mum does this, but I know damn well what the problem is. I'm not supposed to be successful or lucky in any way because I left their religion. Nope, God is just supposed to help my brother because they all pray etc.

So for instance when my brother bought a house, they were singing from the rooftops how blessed they were (nothing to do with being gifted 100k from both sides of the family). And the fact that I'd always had to rent was just down to the fact that I had no faith.
Recently we've been extraordinarily lucky with btcoin, and have bought a house outright. My mum can barely bring herself to mention this and has hardly spoken to me since.

Luckyingame · 03/03/2026 17:45

It's narcissism.
With regards to your practical situation etc.
I would go low contact.
Projecting a bit.

TomatoSandwiches · 03/03/2026 17:50

I don't know op, I never understand people like this, I can hear someones good news or holiday coming up on the bus and I get excited for them, some people really just are very miserable.

SkinnyOatFlatWhiteForMePlease · 03/03/2026 17:55

FIL is like this, it’s downright narcissistic.

Whatisthisweirdness · 03/03/2026 17:57

If something bad happened, she would love it, but try and hide it a bit, but you can just tell

Oh yes she's always hated me yet I've never had any idea why

She used to work full-time in a job she didn't particularly like and also do all at home too, so I think she's perhaps a bit bitter

OP posts:
Seagroves · 03/03/2026 17:59

My sister is like this too. It’s draining. I don’t tell her anything now. She is a miserable cow.

Whatisthisweirdness · 03/03/2026 17:59

Already low contact, one serous information diet about anything vulnerable all very surface level

But I do find it tricky telling her about trios
Because
If I say I'm going I get ohhh, in the tone ive done something wrong amd she's annoyed

If I don't tell her am she hears about it from someone else she gets even more annoyed and says you didn't tell me you where going to such and such
Like she's entitled to know

OP posts:
PyongyangKipperbang · 03/03/2026 18:08

Whatisthisweirdness · 03/03/2026 17:59

Already low contact, one serous information diet about anything vulnerable all very surface level

But I do find it tricky telling her about trios
Because
If I say I'm going I get ohhh, in the tone ive done something wrong amd she's annoyed

If I don't tell her am she hears about it from someone else she gets even more annoyed and says you didn't tell me you where going to such and such
Like she's entitled to know

What would happen if you said "I didnt tell you because whenever I tell you anything positive that is going on in my life, you clearly resent it and are annoyed that I have something good. So I dont bother telling you anymore."

simpledeer · 03/03/2026 18:12

PyongyangKipperbang · 03/03/2026 18:08

What would happen if you said "I didnt tell you because whenever I tell you anything positive that is going on in my life, you clearly resent it and are annoyed that I have something good. So I dont bother telling you anymore."

Mine would be mortally wounded and probably develop a “mystery illness” caused by my selfish controlling behaviour of course…

TheMorgenmuffel · 03/03/2026 18:17

Whatisthisweirdness · 03/03/2026 17:59

Already low contact, one serous information diet about anything vulnerable all very surface level

But I do find it tricky telling her about trios
Because
If I say I'm going I get ohhh, in the tone ive done something wrong amd she's annoyed

If I don't tell her am she hears about it from someone else she gets even more annoyed and says you didn't tell me you where going to such and such
Like she's entitled to know

that's an easy one, you say to her why on earth would i bother when you're only happy if I'm struggling and any time something good happens to me, you act like it's the end of the world?

Let her know you're not telling her shit and she's lucky you still talk to her.

Whatisthisweirdness · 03/03/2026 18:27

PyongyangKipperbang · 03/03/2026 18:08

What would happen if you said "I didnt tell you because whenever I tell you anything positive that is going on in my life, you clearly resent it and are annoyed that I have something good. So I dont bother telling you anymore."

Yes that's what I'm thinking of saying next time

OP posts:
Whatisthisweirdness · 03/03/2026 18:28

She will get defensive then darvo then start crying and act like I've been mean to her, and she's the victim .....

OP posts:
Chatsbots · 03/03/2026 18:31

Yep, it's envy.

She's projecting her misery on to you.