Can a 19 year old babysit a baby alone?

[Raspberryripple3000]

Im aware this post sounds like ragebait (I wish it was) but my (19F) mum (40+) has a friend with a baby under a year old, naturally she hasn’t been going out much recently, so my mum offered to look after the baby one night so they can go out, assuming she’d be tired I offered to do it, without saying it with a lack of confidence. Since my pet passed away relatively recently, I thought it would be nice to have someone to take care of.

All of this sounds pretty normal right? Well not to my mum! After my (seemingly) normal request, she said no, I can’t do it alone and that I’ll need someone ‘mature’ (her) with me. I really don’t know what to think to that as I sounded quite confident and sure while saying it, heck I would have even looked forward to it, I’m overage (and aware younger teens are capable too), I have no mental health conditions, I’ve known the mum of the baby for over 7 years, and even my mum looked after a baby after she left school (about 16 years old) so I really don’t know why my perfectly normal request backfired to make me look like a little 10 year old trying to seem grown? Surely denying a 19 year old to look after a baby (who’s well past the newborn stage) that she’s confident about looking after is a bit strange? My mum could at least see what the mum of the baby thinks right? All of your suggestions/comments will mean so much to me! :)

Yes of course, it’s very nice of you to offer. Ultimately it’s up to the mum of the baby to decide who she trusts to babysit so your mum should just pass on the offer

You say you know the baby's mother, but does the baby know you? At 7/8 months, my babies would have screamed and been quite distressed if someone they weren't used to suddenly appeared to look after them.
Anyway, it's up to the mother. I would not be happy if a friend of mine offered to look after my child only to find out they had gone out and someone else was looking after them. I think it's better if you both just do it together. Also, babies do weird things sometimes and worry you, especially if you're not experienced.

@mindutopia

' like a borrow my doggie sort of experience.'

indeed that is how the Op is coming across.

I was left with my baby cousin at 14. Something I don’t recommend. It all depends on the maturity and personality of the person. Also how difficult the baby is .

OP do you live at home ? If so it may be time for you to move out.

This. OP, it’s not your place to take over a trusted job that has been given to your mum. It’s irrelevant whether you’d be good at it or not. The baby mum has asked your mum to do it. You can’t just ‘push in’. It doesn’t matter whether you think you’re doing your mum a favour. I’d be well pissed off if I’d got a babysitter and they passed the job over to a teenager without asking^.

The way you write sounds immature. A baby is a human being not an animated toy to ‘give you something to do’ or ‘someone to look after’ (sorry about your pet). Also, it sounds like you haven’t had experience of babysitting a baby. Why not ask if you can go with your mum, watch what she does, and begin to get some experience?

I was babysitting babies at 16 but I’d had a lot of experience with babies. Experience and maturity are key.

How much experience do you have of being around babies and small children?

I have teenagers (they’re all between 16-18) and two little ones (1 and 3) and I’d happily let any of my teenagers look after my one year but only because they’re already used to looking after her. I wouldn’t in a million years let a 19 yo with no prior experience of looking after small children be responsible for them.
And I say that as some who had their first children at 17.

So, just to clarify - you're upset that your mum won't give you someone else's baby to play with even though you're bored and sad?

And even though it would be in the evening when the baby should be asleep anyway, and even though you apparently know the mum really well and could just arrange this directly with her?

My dd, 19, has been babysitting since 14 and has a level 3 childcare qualification, a paed first aid and worked as a TA and a early years practitioner. BUT she's still a bit nervous about caring for a young baby on her own as her experience is almost all with children aged 2+. Perhaps having studied child development she is more anxious as she knows more about babies and what can go wrong.

Age has little to do with it, but experience does. I wouldn't be happy for a 19 year old with no experience to look after a baby.

Of course 19 year olds (and younger) have babies themselves. But then they get advice and support from professionals, family and friends. They also, like most mums, find it extremely hard at first and it takes months to feel confident even with your own child, who naturally has a bond with you.

I’m late 20s and had my first at 23.

I wouldn’t leave my baby with a childfree 19 year old especially if the baby wasn’t used to her.

I used to babysit 3 kids all under 5 at 17

What do you mean - tell her to back off? The OP's mums has offered to babysit her own friend's baby, and now the OP is trying to butt in and take over because she is sad that her pet died and she wants to cheer herself up by looking after her mum's friends baby. It's the OP that needs to back off here.

Same

Maybe your mum just wants to hang out with a cute baby. I wouldn't mind having a second pair of hands if I was going to babysit a littl'un. Worst case baby gets distressed with separation anxiety then you can take turns to be cried at. If it's awake you have someone to help head it off from danger, if it's asleep you have someone to chat to.

The question isn't how old you are, it's do you know how to look after a baby. A 12 year old with a baby sibling might know very well how, a 17 yr old working in a nursery or as an au pair will learn very quickly. I was pretty clueless till I had my first at 30+. It's not difficult, but you do have to learn. People go to antenatal classes and get shown how to do things, or others learn from their parents showing them, or the health care assistants in the maternity ward. And at least as a parent you get to practice on an immobile newborn not a 9 month old that's trying to crawl off.

Have you hung out with the baby's mum, helped changing nappies and stuff? That will make a big difference, also if the baby is familiar with you they're less likely to get upset as soon mum isn't in sight.

I'd be more likely to ask an inexperienced teenager to babysit say a 4 or 5 year old. They're a lot easier than babies.

I had no experience with babies when I had DS at 35! I think if I'd had some babysitting experience I wouldn't have felt quite so lost. I'd never even changed a nappy and had to ask one of the nurses how to do it.

Do you have any kind of paediatric first aid qualification? Because that is a must for young babysitters (eg: those without proven experience of raising their own child) round here.

Agreed the original post is so confusing.

Ops mum has offered to babysit. She cannot then delegate that to Op regardless of age.

Yes I theory Op 19yo is an adult who should be capable of babysitting.
However the Baby's mum hasn't agreed to her baby being with an inexperienced 19 yo.

The fact that other teens successfully raise children is irrelevant. This mum hasn't entrusted her baby with the Op.

OP is a teenager who feels the need to care for something after the loss of a much-loved companion.

I was babysitting my cousin's three children aged from 0 to 6 when I was 15 - and I was no baby expert. In the evening they are all going to bed anyway.

I think it’s fine, I was babysitting a 4 year old and a toddler at 17 alone? Granted I was a boring sensible teen but as others have said, I could feasibly have had one myself by that age.

Blimey! I was babysitting regularly at age 15.

Maybe this isn't about you but about your mum not actually wanting to go out with the baby's mum.

The other sensible reason for her objecting might be if the baby's father is known to be abusive/ interested in younger women.

I just turned 20 when I had my son. I had no experience with babies had never even held one. We're both still alive 😎😂

Can anyone think of the reverse of this?

Baby's mum, I trusted my baby with an older friend. But she went out and left my baby with her 19 year old whom I don't really trust?

A few weeks back there was a poor Dad getting dogs abuse for leaving his baby with his lifelong friends to deal with a family emergency. Because the Op (mum) didn't really know the friends.

It doesn't matter how old other people were when they babysat or how old they were having a baby it comes down to WHO is mum putting her trust in.

@Raspberryripple3000

So, how much actual hands on experience do you have in the 'care and handling' of babies? By 19 I already had 7 niblings and was pretty well versed in caring for babies & small children. Shoot, I think I changed my first nappy ('old style' with pins) and warmed my first bottle (under supervision, of course) by the time I was 10. But my BFF had no older siblings so had no experience of babies or small children at 19. Would I have left my baby with me at 19? Sure. With my BFF? No way.

Maybe you could build up your mum's confidence in you by asking your Mum if next time she babysits she could let you 'take charge' whilst she observes. Maybe if she sees that you are equipped to provide the right care and responsible enough to make decisions she'll back off.