Can a 19 year old babysit a baby alone?

[Raspberryripple3000]

Im aware this post sounds like ragebait (I wish it was) but my (19F) mum (40+) has a friend with a baby under a year old, naturally she hasn’t been going out much recently, so my mum offered to look after the baby one night so they can go out, assuming she’d be tired I offered to do it, without saying it with a lack of confidence. Since my pet passed away relatively recently, I thought it would be nice to have someone to take care of.

All of this sounds pretty normal right? Well not to my mum! After my (seemingly) normal request, she said no, I can’t do it alone and that I’ll need someone ‘mature’ (her) with me. I really don’t know what to think to that as I sounded quite confident and sure while saying it, heck I would have even looked forward to it, I’m overage (and aware younger teens are capable too), I have no mental health conditions, I’ve known the mum of the baby for over 7 years, and even my mum looked after a baby after she left school (about 16 years old) so I really don’t know why my perfectly normal request backfired to make me look like a little 10 year old trying to seem grown? Surely denying a 19 year old to look after a baby (who’s well past the newborn stage) that she’s confident about looking after is a bit strange? My mum could at least see what the mum of the baby thinks right? All of your suggestions/comments will mean so much to me! :)

It seems like the age comment wasn’t even mentioned and is just your projection OP.

I wouldn’t personally.
It makes no difference that some people have their own at that age. Two of my friends did and they were shit parents 🤷‍♀️
OP what kind of experience do you have looking after small babies?

Yeah but again, your mum WANTS to babysit, she offered, it’s her thing. You need to get your own thing. Find someone else to babysit for, or volunteer at an animal shelter or something.

Not the point, but are you in the UK op or the states? This is the second thread I've read this evening where the op uses language more synonymous with American English rather than British. I am a dual citizen of both countries, so it just makes me curious whether british English is becoming more lile american or if there are just more posters on here from outside the UK atm

OP do you not work as well? Needing something to keep yourself busy and to look forward to suggests a sort of lack of, I don't know...

' Since my pet passed away relatively recently, I thought it would be nice to have someone to take care of.'

I am sorry for your loss, but that is not a reason to care for / babysit / look after someone's child/baby/toddler.

Maybe your mum is trying to explain why the parents might not be happy for you to take over babysitting when it was her who offered.

I’ve seen there is no official plan anyway. The parents might not want to leave their baby overnight with anyone. My youngest is nearly 2 and he’s only been with me or DH overnight. I’ve only not been with him for two nights. It’s not something I’ve felt comfortable with up until recently. Didn’t with my older two either unless it was my DM or MIL.

I used to babysit at fifteen.

Up to baby’s mother to decide, not your mother.

I work 5 days a week ☺️

👍

At 15/16 I was looking after my younger cousins, including newborns. But they knew me and I knew them and was confident with kids. But knowing them comes with experience and everyone needs to start somewhere.

I think I would feel a bit insulted if my mum reacted like yours. It was a generous offer.

Explore it more with your Mum, there have been terrible miscarriages of justice where young people were caring for babies when they later became ill and they were falsely accused…maybe that is in your Mum’s mind?

It's not about age.
Tell me about your experience with babies under a year?
Absolutely the mum would need to know and be happy with who was looking after the baby.

I wouldn't leave my children with my older sibling when the children were young. He just didn't know much about babies. E.g. he left a toddler on a raised trampoline, on the edge. Not thinking that they would move and could fall off. Now he has his own children, he knows what to expect. From his children at least.

It’s much of the tech stuff being American. Spellcheck is crap and gets rid of English slang and spelling. ChatGPT etc are v American and tv is skewed that way. Because 90% British speak no other language they are vulnerable to Americanisation. One of the many Americanisms that wind me up: “meet with” rather than just “meet”. Yes, there are no borders anymore and I probably just need to get over it!

Well idk-you don't seem to think that your mum can do it & she doesn't think that you can!

Since my pet passed away relatively recently, I thought it would be nice to have someone to take care of.

That's odd.

If that's your reasoning your mum might be right!

Do you work ? attend college / university ?
do you socialise with friends ?

many 19 year olds would be too busy going out with friends / boyfriend to be available to babysit never mind ' I just think it would keep me busy and give me smth to look forward to,'

On the face of it yes a 19 year old should be fine to look after a baby for a few hours, but to be honest you’re not painting yourself in the most mature light in your posts.

My Mum wouldn’t have had a clue if I’d been asked or offered to babysit when I was 19 as I’d already left home. Not suggesting everyone of that age should have but what other ‘adult’ responsibilities / independence do you demonstrate to her? Full time job or education? Taking care of your own housework / cooking / budget? Full responsibility for the pet before it passed away?

Yes, this is the issue. An agreement has been made for a very experienced person to look after the baby. Despite your best intentions, you are no where near as experienced, and it would be v awkward for everyone involved if your mum said to her friend that u would be doing it instead.
If you are genuinely interested in babysitting, go along with your mum, learn from her, show her what you are capable of and then let the mum know that you are available to babysit in the future if she is interested. Don't impose yourself on this mum.

Do you live at home? Isn't she just objecting to having a baby in her house - if that's what would happen?

I think your mother is being abusive

Ok firstly a baby is not an emotional support to make you feel better by having something to care for. That alone may be why your mum is uncomfortable.

mainly if I’ve read this right it’s your mum who is babysitting and you are trying to take over? That is not ok. Your mum cannot consent to that it’s not her baby the babies parents let your mum babysit not you. Without baby parents giving consent your mum cannot allow it.

also yes many teens babysit. Not all should. But depending on the age of the baby this is a big task for someone without experience of babysitting. I was babysitting younger than 19 but I’d been around babies and had experience of babies. I myself would absolutely have a 19 year old babysitter but only if they had experience with babies never would I allow my baby to be the first experience sole charge if they didn’t have shared charge experience

So which is it?

?

Almost 8 months

Looking after a baby is a responsibility; not something you do just to keep yourself busy. Did I read something about your pet dying? A baby isn't a replacement.

The agreement to babysit is between the baby's mother and your mother. It's not your place to insert yourself. By all means offer to keep your mother company, but what you can't do is to force her to hand the baby's care over to you.