Can a 19 year old babysit a baby alone?

[Raspberryripple3000]

Im aware this post sounds like ragebait (I wish it was) but my (19F) mum (40+) has a friend with a baby under a year old, naturally she hasn’t been going out much recently, so my mum offered to look after the baby one night so they can go out, assuming she’d be tired I offered to do it, without saying it with a lack of confidence. Since my pet passed away relatively recently, I thought it would be nice to have someone to take care of.

All of this sounds pretty normal right? Well not to my mum! After my (seemingly) normal request, she said no, I can’t do it alone and that I’ll need someone ‘mature’ (her) with me. I really don’t know what to think to that as I sounded quite confident and sure while saying it, heck I would have even looked forward to it, I’m overage (and aware younger teens are capable too), I have no mental health conditions, I’ve known the mum of the baby for over 7 years, and even my mum looked after a baby after she left school (about 16 years old) so I really don’t know why my perfectly normal request backfired to make me look like a little 10 year old trying to seem grown? Surely denying a 19 year old to look after a baby (who’s well past the newborn stage) that she’s confident about looking after is a bit strange? My mum could at least see what the mum of the baby thinks right? All of your suggestions/comments will mean so much to me! :)

😂

Why would a mother accuse her 19 yead old daughter of being incapable of babysitting.

Some of my family members had babies at 17 and she was married at 16 before she was expecting, 19 and again was married at 18 before she was expecting. This was the norm back when I was younger and not that unusual.

OP im sure you're perfectly capable of looking after a baby, of using a phone to look for help and know what to do in an emergency. Tell your mum your capable and if there is a problem you'll FaceTime her

at the end of the day a baby needs, food, nappy changed, winding or cuddles

I used to babysit babies and young toddlers in the village I grew up in from the age of 14 through to 18 when I left for uni.

Now as a mum I wouldn't let a 14 year old babysit mine but a 19 year old that I knew was responsible definitely I would be fine with. A lot of the staff in nurseries are this age and they are amazing, not to mention all the women who have babies at 19 or younger!

It is definitely down to what the baby's mother is comfortable with.

Theres nothing to be insulted about though, its not the mums decision, OP shouldn’t even be asking her mum (that alone points to OP’s maturity level).

Another persons baby isn’t something to be passed about to give OP purpose.

Provided the baby isn’t sick then of course you can look after it alone. I was babysitting a baby at 16, worst that happened is he was teething and I had to put bonjela on his gums and when he cried after this he was thrashing around and banged his head twice. His mum told me afterwards babies are very resilient!

Probably because the mother knows OP has absolutely no experience with babies, and as a mother she knows it would be very weird to swap out babysitters when the parent of the child has only agreed to her actual friend (OP’s mother) doing the babysitting.

For one thing, that isn’t ‘abusive’. But it’s also just stupid, OPs mum wants to babysit her friends child and has arranged this, OP wants to steal this because she’s bored, her mum said no, which is understandable as it’s her thing. OP does sound quite immature on here. It’s not abusive to say no to
your adult child.

How come?

No… that’s not what she’s objecting to.

There is no way I'd have let a 19 year old look after my DC as a baby. I don't care that some 19 year olds have their own babies, that's their business, but the average 19 year old I would say no, and a 19 year old with their own baby will no doubt be busy looking after their own baby.

I actually let my 20 year old niece look after DC1 in my home sometimes when aged around 18 months but later stopped the arrangement as she wanted to go out and about and DC was a runner.

I interview babysitters and pay for a few play date sessions before leaving them alone with DC.

@Raspberryripple3000 is there some reason why your mum actually wants to babysit with you, as in does she just want to see the baby? Do you know what to do in an emergency? It's all very well a baby being 'chill' but you n es to be prepared (e.g. what to do if they are choking, I don't allow hot drinks near DC etc)

Everyone needs to RTFT.

OP has not been asked to babysit.

Op's mother has been asked, and has agreed. OP wants her mother to go out and leave the baby with her, instead, because she is missing looking after her pet and wants something to look forward to.

I was looking after my brother and SILs babies from when I was about 15, but I’d spent a lot of time with them and they had seen me handling them ect. By 20 I had my own. I have left my youngest DD (11 months) with her 16 year old cousin before briefly, but I also know 25 year olds I wouldn’t leave my baby with - it’s all relative really.

Because the 19-year-old has no experience of babies, perhaps? I was babysitting from about 14 but had cared for my younger siblings. You wouldn't want to leave your baby with someone who wouldn't know what to when the baby woke up, was distressed, how to tell if the child was ill, etc. Do you even know how to change a nappy and how to prepare a baby's drink, OP?

maybe your mum is like mine...
i was an au pair from age 18 to 19, babysat since 15, have had 2 kids of my own that DH and i brought up without family nearby... she refused to let me hold my newborn nephew on the basis that I might not know how

bonkers

What on earth do you mean?

It's not illegal to have a baby at any age!

It’s very obvious what they mean. The legal age for sex is 16 - 3 years ago.

I had a baby at 18.

My oldest was looking after younger siblings (not babies) for short periods at 15.

I generally wouldn't see your age as an issue. Sometimes mums have a hard time accepting their children aren't little kids anymore.

That can make them feel old/redundant.

However my son (17) phoned me this afternoon asking how to run a bath, so there is a wide range of individual variation in maturity.

Don't let it bother you, it was kind of you to offer and there will be other opportunities to extend your generosity.

when baby’s mum was pregnant my mum said it would be nice if I could look after the baby, as I’d just left college and didn’t have a job (I do now 5 days a week). I offered coz I thought she’d be ok with it. And I’ve known baby’s mum as long as my mum has known her.

I'm 50 and have two teenagers. I would not leave a baby with a 19yo with no experience with babies. I would however leave it with a nusery nurse the same age. Babies are tricky and I don't think you are prepared unless you have done it before. It's very different from primary aged children.

At 19, I would not want to look after someone's baby.

Personally, I don’t care about age (once over 16).

It’s more about experience with babies and children for me. E.g. I’d probably be happier leaving my baby with a confident, sensible 17 year old, who has previously worked in childcare than a 25 year old who has never touched a baby before.

Maybe the mum expressed reluctance to your mum for you to babysit. We don’t know.

I would have a conversation with the baby’s mum and offer your babysitting services in the future if she would like. She can then ask if she is happy to. There is nothing to stop you enjoying playing with the baby when your mum is babysitting but she will be the one with the responsibility at that time.

I wouldn’t judge by age (within reason), there are 16-year-olds who I would let look after my baby, and 40-year-olds who I absolutely wouldn’t. I also think it depends a lot on whether this person has any experience eg younger siblings or own children. I looked after a friends baby when I was in my 30s and had zero experience with babies and tbh I was out of my depth.

I worked as an aupair in the US (18 y old) in the nineties; a newborn baby, 2 year old and a 4 year old boy from hell😅. That was really tough (tbh it was just the 4 year old that was hard work) but I managed 7-15 every day🤷‍♀️. I knew I would have maximum 2 children later though.

I had a 4yr old at 19. She is being ridiculous, tell her to back off.