Leaving 5year old for a month ?!

[everybodylovessun]

Hey everyone need some cool advice about me having to go away and leaving my son for 5 weeks a bit of a family thing aboard he will be with my mum and dad while I’m gone but I just feel so bad and I have really bad anxiety plus it will be my birthday while I’m gone and I’ve always celebrated with him just wanted any advice from mums that had to go away for a few weeks and what did you do to calm your nerves ?

If you have to go you have to but I wouldn't choose to go and I'd not go if I could avoid it.

If you need to go then your parents will be perfectly good caretakers - there's nothing to actually worry about!

A few weeks aka 2 weeks? or a month = 4 weeks?

@ShetlandishMum5 weeks to be exact

Is dad on the scene?

I wouldn’t do it. How heartbreaking.

Not a fucking chance. That's time you won't get back and you will regret.

@sittingonabeach yes I forgot to include he will be with his dad also while I’m gone plus he will have 1 week holiday from school and dad was planning on taking him away too somewhere nice

And DH wouldn't have done it either.

Could you fly back for a weekend in the middle?

Nope. Totally unfair on your child. If your parents and dh are around it can't be to deal with any close family matter. Your child should come first.

@fruitbrewhahai have to go all the way to the Caribbean

@Decorhateyou can’t judge my situation by saying if my mum and dad is around why can’t they go you don’t know the situation on why I have to go and either way I’m going all I asked was for advice on how to calm your nerves

I wouldnt.

Just to make things clear I’m not asking you guys if you would or wouldn’t I’m going and that’s that I’ve asked in my post what’s your advice from “people that left to go away for a month or few weeks without their children” I never asked for judgment or saying my sons going to miss out on this and that I never asked for you to increase my anxiety more you guys are weird just give good advice wth

Dad’s do this all the time! I think it will be fine. I’m stunned you’re getting these responses op. It’s 5 weeks not 5 months.

And also just to include my son loves his grandparents he doesn’t even want to leave when he stays there I also said to another person he’s going on a trip with his dad during his break from school so he will be enjoying a holiday himself while I’m gone

Hmm I don't think that you can demand people on Mumsnet "just give good advice". However it doesn't sound like you have much choice.

I guess 5 weeks will go quickly. Will you be able to talk to him every day/video call? You could have a designated special time that's for you to catch up by video (not sure what the time difference is?)

Could you send letters? Or maybe you could make a journal for him, and him for you, to show each other when you're home.

He will be fine. I traveled when my kids were little and they did fine.

video calls can be confusing for a kid that age. If it makes him sad to see you on a screen but not hug you, you might need to skip them. Or do it once a week.

make a calendar for the trip with events marked on - school days and visits to grandma and trips with dad and the big “mum comes home day”. It really helps a child to understand what is happening next and feel more in control.

@tobeethank you finally someone understands it’s weird 5 weeks is still quite short yes i will miss my son but I know he will do great plus he’s going away on holiday with his dad also to Spain while I’m gone so he will be enjoying too thank you for your kind words

It'll be fine OP, he's with his dad. If this was a reversal people wouldn't think anything of it.

FaceTime daily, read him bedtime stories, that helps.

My mum used to send me to Spain to my grandparents every summer for 5 weeks and they are some of my fondest memories that I have from childhood - I was even sent on the plane by myself back when BA would have staff to settle you in and take you off the aircraft! He will be fine, you have facetime you can call on and he will be making memories with your family. It will you that will be missing him more than them missing you.

The Caribbean is an eight hour flight, people travel from the UK to there for a weeks holiday on a frequent basis. I’ve done it twice (with my family) If you have to do it can you go ahead and your DH brings your son out for his weeks holiday?

I’ve left my DC twice, for a week due to work. They were older, I did a treasure hunt of a gift a day around the house and sometimes did video calls however they sometimes made things worse. Best thing is to keep routines, keep them in their own homes. Even better - don’t go for five weeks.

So it’s not something I would/could do BUT there are kids in boarding school and they’re left for more than 5 weeks and not with any family either!

Enjoy the time with him before you leave.

You might get more sympathy if you gave more info OP, because it's difficult to work out what kind of family thing requires you to be abroad for 5 whole weeks and also doesn't involve your parents.

Leaving 5year old for a month?!

This was your question. People are saying they wouldn’t unless they absolutely had to.

The question mark suggests it’s an option not just a necessity.

As for your nerves, just remember you don’t have an option and he’ll be fine.