Girls at DD’s school cannot wear socks because men and boys feel uncomfortable

[Eastie77Returns]

DD’s school has placed a ban on girls wearing socks due to persistent issues with girls wearing skirts that are too short and not the school’s regulation kilts. According to the e-mail sent to parents, girls wearing socks with said short skirts has resulted in some “members of the school community” feeling uncomfortable. When the issue was raised further by some parents, the (male) Deputy made it clear that it was essentially unfair to male pupils, and presumably teachers, to be made to feel awkward when girls undergarments were visible to them. There have also been issues with boys making suggestive comments to girls in short skirts.

I support the school enforcing school uniform policy but hate the fact that 12 year old DD and her friends are already being policed as to what they can or cannot wear because…men. DD hates the thick black tights she now has to wear. She always wore the correct length skirt and knee high socks.

The situation will apparently be reviewed ahead of the warmer months. I just feel this reinforces the view that girls & women need to ensure they dress in a way that doesn’t attract male attention but boys are not learning that inappropriate comments and behaviour towards a girl because of the way she dresses is completely unacceptable.

Teachers are damned if they do and damned if they don't.

If they enforce the school management's uniform policy, they're accused of body shaming or worse, being perverts.

If they don't, they're in trouble for not enforcing the policy by management.

Only one of those pays their wages. Enforcement it is.

Like I said earlier, a skort would solve the problem

You were one of those people who talks to tits then?

Why do they do this?

I'm 55 too and don't remember anyone wearing skirts at school that were short enough to show knickers. I've also never seen school boys showing a builders bum. It would be stopped if they did

Surely we don’t want school girls to be another form of flashers? They need to be told by their parents that just because they’re not wearing a dirty mac their deliberate flashing of their private parts to others who have not consented to see this, is unacceptable.

They have their skirts rolled up in the middle of winter, I saw one girls whose legs had gone a bluish shade. They walk home from school without a coat ffs. It's all about them having the right look and being "cool" which probably emanates from other girls calling the shots and it is so daft

What? I’m not blind, I shouldn’t have to look up at the ceiling or on the floor to avoid a colleagues boobs spilling out. It was unprofessional.

Nobody has tried to keep the flasher out of the park for centuries...for just being their gender and their offending is designed to intimidate for sexual gratification and totally different from say wearing a bikini.

I don't understand why you sexualised women and girls for their clothing choices ? Simply control your reactions...its basic and uncomplicated.

Women and girls are not responsible for the problems of the overly sexualised viewer

Yes, it's patronising and infantilising of girls and young women, when we send the message that boys are capable of dressing smartly and appropriately for the circumstances; but girls, bless 'em, apparently just can't manage it and can't be expected to know any better.

But if we DO step in and say "There's an issue, and this one happens to be mainly with girls", we're told not to look, not to be perverts, not to sexualise or to police girls' bodies etc... Even when it's just a case of dressing inappropriately scruffy and nothing remotely 'sexual'.

Brilliant post @AntiqueBabyLoanSmurf !

Thats just sexism. Literally sexism. When you talk to someone you look at their face. Or do you body scan as someone speaks? Why?

Then the parents need to have a chat with the school regarding that specific pupil and their individual needs.

You're not going to please everyone all of the time, whenever you introduce a blanket rule there will always be "what about, what about, what about???" It's a school, hundreds of kids, they don't have time to piss about catering to every single individual first.

If the problem is the underwear on show, at least cycling shorts would address that without girls roasting in tights. I imagine given the choice they'd pick the shorts and there'd be a lot less grief.

The irony is though is that the girls are doing it to attract the boys. All we need is David Attenborough narrating a day at a senior school.

'According to the e-mail sent to parents, girls wearing socks with said short skirts has resulted in some “members of the school community” feeling uncomfortable.'

As others have pointed out - uncomfortable, not aroused.

The girls at my sons school wore their uniform however they liked because the teachers were too afraid to mention it for fear of 'well, why were you looking at her/my body?'

This came up in conversation after I received a phone call one day from my sons Head of Year telling me that he had worn black trainers to school that day (his shoes had broken and we were waiting to buy new shoes).

My son did not reply with 'well, why were you looking at my body?' We just went out and bought new shoes.

This is nothing to do with male entitlement, it is everything to do with female entitlement.

Anybody remember the film Clueless and the fashion for boys to show their designer underwear?

Nonsense. The school have said it distracts males.

And do you wear a bikini when you go to work, or when you go to the supermarket?

As I said in my post that you quoted, young people of that age are starting to think about sexuality and attraction amongst their peers. Girls are unlikely to be trying to intimidate boys by putting their privates on display, but I think it's naive to believe that teenagers - of either sex - pay no regard to sexuality and sexual attraction at all.

What's the correlation between socks and skirts? I don't understand this bit.

Well they did at Dover Girls Grammar...rolled up waistbands and over the knee socks held up with elastic bands. We also had indoor knickers on the uniform list and did athletics in a mini skirt kilt

Because they are rolling skirts up so high the underwear can be seen, so at least tights cover knickers

You dont just intently stare into someone’s eyes, your eyes relax and they can scan around, not deliberately but it’s perfectly normal. Are you saying the only thing you ever notice or look at is a person’s eyes? You don’t see their hair or their clothes? Someone could be at work in a diving suit but you wouldn’t notice because all you see is their eyes? I don’t even know what point you’re trying to make, I’m a straight woman, I am not turned on by women's ‘tits’ as you like to call them 🙄

Thats terrible.
However I do think a happy medium could easily be suggested of cycling shorts under skirts.
I know I once wore a mini skirt out when I was 14 and didn't realise everyone could see my bits. I was unshaven and then basically I had about 6 mobths where I was the talk of the town and bullied which i wouldnt want for my daughter.
Surely shorts under skirts is the counter proposal here.

Sorry I don’t have girls. Are we saying short socks instead of tights so that girls can actively show their underwear better or long socks with very short skirts Japanese style, socks that are not for school but for weekends?

Yes its the perfect time to teach males about consent. That clothing does not sexualise but the viewer does

This is about control ...women and girls are being limited by this attempt to control (our bodies and choices)