What do you think to the idea, noone can make you feel inferior without your consent ?

[Stuckinthemiddlewithyouuhoh]

Not sure wgat tk make of it really as on 9ne hand I kinda agree with it
but On the other it seems very victim blaming too

Nonsense.

I love it. Eleanor Roosevelt. Very wise woman. Not victim blaming at all.

Quote of Eleanor Roosevelt's. I think she was right.

Humans are generally super-sensitive to relative status, so it is innate that if there are lots of social signals that others are higher status or that their own status is being threatened/challenged/undermined, a person would immediately notice and take that on board.

They might not agree with the situation or think the relative weighting is fair, but they will notice!

I sort of agree with it. I’m very content and happy with who I am so others don’t make me feel small. Even if they try to, I’d just think they’re a dickhead and I’d rather be me than a dickhead like them.
only you are in charge of how you feel….

I disagree with it. Whilst it's a lovely idea in concept, the reality is that we are social animals and other people can make us feel bad. Like bullies. Like malicious gossip. Like someone having an affair.

People can have a bloody good try at making you feel inferior though, which can be draining to deal with. It takes having some social capital in the first place to be able to shrug that off repeatedly.

Only works if you are the same class or social status. Someone in a position of power can absolutely make you feel inferior.

I disagree. Different people and situations make us react differently - oftentimes through our own projections which we can't always help - they can be automatic.
I feel very inferior at the school gate because at school I was badly bullied and it just all comes back automatically. Yet in my gang of school mum's, I feel great.

I don't blame myself for feeling inferior at school pickup because I can't help what happened in my past or change that experience.

It's a catchy quote but real life is complicated.

Yes, I suspect it is easier to be unshakeably confident that you are not inferior to anyone in any situation if you are "the First Lady of the World"!

This. I don’t gaf what anyone else thinks about me.

Yeah, I think people with inferiority complexes are probably inferior.

I get the message, but I think it gives bullies and arseholes a get out of jail free card and absolves them of the responsibility to correct their behaviour by placing the onus on the victim to just "not let it get to you".

'Victim blaming' has become so overused it's ridiculous.

Some people feel inferior for all sorts of stupid reasons, like when they've made a conscious decision to live in an affluent area and send their kids to the local school, but now they're complaining they feel inferior to those who have massive expensive houses, drive expensive cars and holiday 3 or 4 times per year.

They're a 'victim' of nothing and the only person making them feel 'inferior' is themselves.

I agree. I don't feel inferior to anyone. I have less money, less friends, am less beautiful, clever than lots of people, but I am not inferior. All humans have the same intrinsic value.

It's a quote that I have taken strength from at work when life gets tough. It's not saying you are always right, just that people can't unilaterally impose that power dynamic on you.

You can feel inferior and stand up anyway. Speak up, apply for the job, disagree with authority, read the book you’re not sure you’re clever enough to read. Feel the fear and do it anyway, I once read.

@Stuckinthemiddlewithyouuhoh I’d say no one who believes that quote has been subjected to horrific abuse or bullying.

But the only behaviour you can ever control is your own. It's not possible to prevent other people behaving unpleasantly to you. All you can do is manage how you deal with it.

I like it and wish that I could apply it to myself.

Exactly.

And yet this brilliant advice will be called 'victim blaming' by some.

Theoretically true but in practise sometimes very hard to achieve. A good goal to aim for though.

This is exactly how I feel too. I couldn't care less what anyone else thinks of me, and haven't since I was quite young.

Peoples actions and words usually are bssed on how they feel about themselves not others.
They usually cannot bear their own negative feelings so they look around for others to drop it on .
This is done by scapegiating and blaming , usually with themselves positioned as superior.

Emotionally healthy people dont engage or stand firm and calmly deal with it.
They have this innate knowledge that its not to do with them
People test others to see who will " pick up" their feelings and react
You react emotionally they have successfully dumped on you and feel superior

• disclaimer Im not talking about bringing up issues in a calm, measured way

I don’t agree with it because of the word ‘consent’. It makes it sounds like it’s an active choice to feel offended or feel inferior. In reality it’s almost always a knee jerk reaction that you have no control over.