Fil reaction to dh telling him we are having a baby

[Stuckinthemiddlewithyouuhoh]

Ohhh thought you’d have some decent holidays first

we were married and had a house and been together over 6 years And well traveled
by that point so hardly suprising

just thinking What an odd reaction

@mindutopia dd1 had a few major holidays before she got pregnant including a covid delayed honeymoon and she also had an exotic baby moon afterwards. Since dgd was born a few months short of 2 years ago they have been to USA, Canada, Malaysia, Singapore, Cyprus, Greece and Italy! Obviously holidays with dc are different but it hasn't stopped them gallivanting.

Thats cruel! Gosh I would of bluntly told my mother as well! Then left.

‘Oh was it planned ?’
My mother on hearing I was pregnant age 34 married 10 years - well established careers x2 .
Hmmmmm ….

I lived an hour from my mum but had to be in the area to collect my new puppy and thought I’d surprise her.
I knocked on her door and said “I’ve got someone I’d like you to meet”.
She said “you’re getting married again, aren’t you!”
I was still married….

MIL said something like “oh no I bought melon and Parma ham to have as a starter” (we had gone round for dinner)

People say stupid things.

I’m sorry he said this, it is definitely a stupid thing to say.

Baby #1: PIL 'WE are very stressed' (WE'd had IVF, not them ...). My parents: didn't tell them until Dc was 12m old. Baby #2: PIL: 'just tell us when it's born, we don't want all that stress again'. My mother; 'I thought you'd be too old' (@39)
No-one said, after 3 miscarriages and icsi IVF, the word 'Congratulations'. Their loss.

My parents have been openly unsupportive of my IVF. One of my parents told me it was a waste of money, the other refused to acknowledge it even when I was in hospital with OHSS, and I was told I was too old (38.5 at the time). I've gone on to bank euploids from ICSI and will be transferring this year (age 40). If it's successful, I'm thinking of not actually announcing it at all. They live in the same village, so they'll see the bump at some point. Do you think that's a reasonable strategy? I don't want their negativity to ruin the pregnancy.

DH and I told DF that we were expecting DC1, once we'd had 12 week scan and all looking good. DF promptly wrote us a long and very cringey letter reminiscing about a major family party we'd all attended some.3 months previously and wondering (with hopeful excitement) whether this had been the occasion where we had conceived (It was, in fact, not). No, I don't want my DF speculating about my sex life thanks, let alone in writing.

My FIL asked it if it was an accident 🙃 We were 31 and 35 and had been together 10 years, married 5.

Deep down I’m not sure I’ll ever really forgive him.

God human beings are strange aren't they?! My grandmother's response to hearing my mother was pregnant was a shocked insert northern accent here 'What am I going to tell me friends?!'

Mum was 30 and had been married 4 years. 😐

My MIL’s reaction to my first pregnancy was ‘oh no’. Bizarre really. We’ve been married four years and bought a house together. We were completely in the right place to have a baby.

Not that big a deal.

Wishing you the very, very best. 🤞🙏
I think you should not confide to them for your mental health and to maintain calmness during the process. 💐

First words out of my mother in laws mouth, ‘was this planned’?

we had just gone past our second wedding anniversary, hardly a fling. But, I was the person who ‘stole her baby’.

That said, I turned out to be her favourite DIL and she did love ALL her grandchildren. So, there’s hope.

almost the same thing with us ! I was 38, pregnant with DD2. When we told MIL we thought she would be happy as she only had DD1 for grandchild.

MIL told us we were irresponsible because of my age and because DD1 (5) apparently wouldn’t get full attention. She even suggested I may need an abortion because babies of “old” mothers apparently had problems.

i ignored MIL’s nasty comments so as not to cause rift but it took years to repair that between us. (I’m obviously still salty).

Of course, once DD2 was born (healthy, strong, smart and ridiculously beautiful ) MIL was happy grandmother and acted like she’d never said anything.

my DM passed when DD2 was baby so I’ve been resentful that she wasn’t alive to love up both my girls as she was a natural DGM. MIL took a long time to be a normal DGM. I would never say this to my kids or DH, but MIL is second rate. My DM was the best DGM and it’s a tragedy she didn’t get to be one for long.

I get this too! I’m happy for them but also get a duck you don’t know what you’ve signed up for and I can’t tell you the bad news… so I prob end up giving out a funny look 😂

completely love my dc though

Do you have any children already @massinsaln ?

My late MIL growled, went into the kitchen and started smashing dishes. She didn't live to see them as adults.

As he’s married to your husband’s mother it’s nothing to do with him,
Hes not your husband’s dad and he’s not the baby’s granddad

FIL said (we'd been married 7 years when we had our first but had held off due to marrying verrry young and wanting to do a few other things first), "Oh! MIL and I thought you probably couldn't conceive because you'd had an abortion!" (as a teenager, which my mum told them prior to DH and I getting married because "if someone like that was joining my family, I'd want to know".)

My PIL were fine with our pregnancy news as we were married but we'd had fertility problems. They were excited about the baby.

However, when we were first dating, we still both lived with our parents (40yrs ago). DH2B was taking me away for the night to a posh local hotel for valentines, so we could get some time alone together. Within my earshot FIL said "that's the most expensive shag you'll ever have". I've never forgotten it. He was wrong too, as we went to far nicer places over the course of our relationship 😂

I think that sometimes people don't actually know how to respond in the moment.
My mother called me a stupid cow when I told her I was pregnant!

My response may be unpopular, but I don't think we should turn every personal announcements into social tests of enthusiasm. Not everyone experiences pregnancy announcement as sacred, cinematic moments requiring fireworks and choreographed joy, or saying just the right thing we envisioned. For many people it may be simply life progressing as expected, but just commenting on the timing. It wasn't anything malicious in it. As another PP said, no big deal.

My FIL said, oh you're hardly pregnant, or something along those lines, sort of making out it might not actually progress, as we told them earlyish at 9 weeks as we were away for the weekend with them. Oh I forgot, the first words out of his mouth were, are you getting married? Not congratulations or anything.