What would make you want to go to a church event (or what makes you not want to go?)

[elliejjtiny]

Either Sunday services, special ones like carol services or social events.

I'm just wondering as our church numbers are dwindling at the moment as a few of the elderly people have died recently, a couple of families have left and nobody new has come for years.

We used to get quite a few people come for our carol service and for the family fun day (barbeque, games and a bouncy castle) but now hardly anyone comes to those things either.

We've got a facebook page which gets lots of views. I'm just wondering if there was anything we could be doing differently. It's a bit depressing when you organise an event and hardly anyone comes.

One of the reasons won't be attending is because of the "church" association though. People are becoming more and more against religion and part of that includes using religious spaces.

Clear Biblical teaching and none of the woke nonsense that comes out of the CoE now.

I’ll be honest, I started attending church as someone who is agnostic at best, because I’d heard it was the best way to get a place at the local school, but we’ve become regular attendees - not because I’m any more religious but because I enjoy the community.

I’d have found sitting in the service too much with a toddler, especially given I didn’t know any of the protocols, but our church has a lovely baby club adjacent to the church in a side room, with songs and toys etc. we then just go into the service for a blessing/communion and the notices. The people who run it are so kind and welcoming, I just kept coming back. I’ve made some lovely friends, I’m much more pro-church, and I’ve actually learnt a lot.

I think if people knew they could get some free toddler entertainment on a Sunday morning without having to try and hold kids still throughout a whole service, that would be very appealing, especially in winter!

ETA also, Messy Church in the school holidays is always hugely well attended and advertised through the local connected school. If there is a CofE school nearby you should definitely be taking advantage of the connection to advertise kids events.

I agree, that would be a deal-breaker for me.
Events that are all about community are fine and I'd like to attend them (I'm an agnostic on a personal level, and dislike all organised religion).

Im the youngest full member of our Methodist Church (40 years old). I was adopted and grew up going to church then by about aged 11 it was embarrassing telling your mates you're going to church when 99% of my friends didnt attend.

I got back into going to church as my now husband believes in God and I wanted to become a better person and not so angry. I find church makes me feel happier and makes me want to be a good person. Our son goes to 'sunday school ' although hes usually the only child there apart from when we have our messy church. I know a lot of the people there anyway as they knew me from when I was little.

We have tried everything to get younger people to join. I used to admin the Facebook page and advertise any events and share to the town Facebook groups. The memes were well received and we got a huge boost in followers,but no extra bums in seats 😪

Like OP I posted on here to ask what would make people be more interested in attending church? I got my arse handed to me and people were saying that they don't support cults/sky fairies or pedophiles.

Yes there are a few snooty judgy people but you can be sure there's plenty of nice and kind members too. The problem also is that the bible is poorly worded by today's standards ie homosexuality but our church voted for gay marriage. Sermons can be really boring too and some of the hymns a bit dreary, but we have plenty of good services too.

You obviously put in effort with leaflets but it is wasted.

No one has time to read leaflets. If they come through the door they are binned with every other leaflet that comes through the door and I think Facebook is a waste of time because once the notice has gone off the screen unless someone remembers exactly which church and where you are that notice is gone for good.

Better advertising in all shop windows, village and pub notice boards, supermarket have notice boards for community events and advertise it in the first instance within a 3-4 mile radius and if that doesn’t get enough people then widen your radius by a mile or 2 each time
Don’t advertise it with the word church or vicar in anything
Make it about community

I think whilst your numbers are low you need the help from other groups. Maybe a joint event with other local groups eg the WI, Allotment committee and any other group whether religious or not. With the local pub/restaurant/cafe providing the drinks and food

If you want bums on seats you need to stop looking at profits and the insular way you go about things and get yourselves across as a nice community group to join

“You are perfectly entitled to your beliefs and I respect that - but that goes both ways. Proselytising is profoundly disrespectful of other people's Beliefs”
Giving out a Christian/ bible related leaflet/item is surely perfectly reasonable/expected at a Church event?

If for example I went to a weight loss group I’d expect a leaflet about eating healthily/less cake.
If I went to a uni open day I’d expect to come away with promotional stuff about the uni.
If I take a trip to France I’d expect French stuff etc.
if it’s a church event on church property…..

I genuinely don't understand the antipathy towards anything church related that some on this thread have expressed. Does this also extend to for example:
Refusing to go to a church wedding of a friend?
Not getting married in church yourself?
Refusing to put your children into a CofE (or other denomination) school?

Despite being an atheist I think the decline in church attendance is rather sad because culturally the CofE is a key part of English (yes - English, not British) society, has a wealth of glorious buildings, has a liturgy (prayer book) with some of the best English literature ever written and has a glorious musical tradition.
Both of my sons joined the church choir. Both took full advantage of the musical education available to them through the church, learned the organ and were earning good money playing for church services from 14 or 15. One went on to get an organ scholarship at Oxford. Neither are baptised and neither seem to have 'caught' religion by attending church regularly.

I regret the loss of many traditional church choirs. This is an area in which children from all backgrounds can take part in something in which they take a role that is just as important as the adults around them. I found this empowering as a child, both of my sons have benefitted massively from it and I think it's sad that some people's hatred of organised religion may prevent their children from having the same opportunity.

AT LEAST CROSS POST To INSTAGRAM. No one under 40 uses Facebook.

I’ve gone to a few churches who have that grant you get to turn them around (as then they went down to <10 people and now are 100+). One went high church and the other praise band style but they both grew greatly in numbers. Centre of Theology and Community was involved with one which is about grounding your church in what the community needs. And listening. There are churches who have done this recently to learn from. Worth your vicar finding out if they can talk to some success stories. That will be far more helpful than what I have below.

A strategy that one church says has worked for engaging occasional visitors is having a Rota where it’s someone’s job to approach anyone who is alone and/or new just to chat. Just so they don’t feel like the church is cliquey. If they come back it’s a different person that week and they are already making friends.

Advertising: you need to be advertising beyond Facebook. No one under 40 has opened the app in years except to sell furniture. Instagram will get you 30-40. My community has community WhatsApp group for parents that you can pop flyers for events in. Are there other community fetes or events you could ask how they advertise?

I genuinely don't understand the antipathy towards anything church related that some on this thread have expressed. Does this also extend to for example:
Refusing to go to a church wedding of a friend?
No, because I'm there for my friend.

Not getting married in church yourself?
Yes, we got married in a registry office.

Refusing to put your children into a CofE (or other denomination) school?
No children, but no, I wouldn't send them to a religious school.

I would happily go to a friend's wedding in a church. As I would in any other place of worship. If it means something to them, then I totally respect that and I'm happy to join in their celebration.

DH and I did not get married in a church and we never considered this as an option. It would have been weird for us to do so, given that neither of us were Christians.

I would not have willingly sent my dc to a Christian school either. I was perfectly happy for her to learn about Christianity and other religions as part of her religious education. I was perfectly happy for her to visit churches, mosques and temples etc. But I would not have chosen an education which centred one religion over others because that wasn't in line with my own beliefs.

I have no particular antipathy towards religion, except for the kind of religion which seeks to foist itself on others. I have dear friends who are deeply religious (both Christian and other faiths) and I respect what their faiths mean to them. I respect those who are motivated by their faiths to engage in voluntary and community work etc and I value their contribution in the same way that I value the contributions of anyone who works hard for their community. However, I don't particularly want churches (or other religious organisations) "reaching out" to me when I haven't asked them to do so. I don't need to be "saved" or converted, and I know where they are if I want to find them.

I'm not religious so would only go to church for funerals or weddings, I do not take part in any of the religious parts of the service

Churches are places to get married in. Our society has a law in place that they are places you can be married, and that cofe vicars are able to perform legally binding marriage ceremonies. Now, of course, you can get married in other places if you chose. But I see no problem with an atheist or anyone using the legally bestowed service of a church to marry, provided both church and customer agree the terms.

I don’t think it’s unreasonable to send your children to cofe primary schools as many areas don’t have much or any choice of primary school.

in my mind both of these are fairly insignificant compared to attending services which are designed as acts of worship.

my DV quite fancied the local cathedral choir. The reason we didn’t persue it wasn’t religion but the unbelievable schedule that parents had to deliver them too. Plus worries about abuse, of course.

There is nothing unreasonable about couples choosing to get married in a church if that's what they want to do. But some non-christians would prefer to have a more secular wedding, and that's fine too.

In the same way, there is nothing wrong with non-christians sending their kids to CofE or Catholic schools if that's what they choose to do. But some parents would prefer to send their kids to a school which isn't linked to a specific religious denomination, and that's fine too.

I'd go to a church wedding of a friend but no, I would've never considered getting married in a church myself and my DC won't go to CofE schools.

If church services were shorter I’d go.
what I want from a church service:
some nice hymns
quiet time for my own prayers, not the constant interruption of someone intoning them.
short but interesting sermon, I don’t want to be preached at, but I do want to learn something.
Personally I’d prefer not to bother with communion, it makes the service too long.
45-60 mins max, anymore than that and it cuts too much into my weekend.

Clearly communicatimg when people can come and then actually being open at those times. And not assuming people know what happens when. (I just moved to a new area d tried to go and light a candle at the times their Facebook page said they were open. Was told I needed to come back for mass. 9.30 every weekday. Went back at 9.30 on Friday to be told that (obviously!) mass is at 10am on Fridays!!)

I know that's pretty specific, but broadly: just let people know what's happening when!

You need to try your local Methodist Church.

I would also offer use of your hall out to lots of community groups/ charities. Offer them to use the space during the week to run debt advice services/ sen groups, a lunch for pensioners or a breakfast club as well as a mums and tots. There's absolutely loads you could do if you approach it from that angle. If you really needed to you could charge some groups a minimal fee to cover heat and electricity. If I were you I'd look at what funding is out there to employ a community coordinator who can make it a full time role of finding what the community needs and then providing it in the church.

I admit, as an atheist and as a lesbian there aren't many things that would get me to go to a church. I do enjoy the occasional carol service, and most recently I went to a Tenebrae concert in a local church, and while I think the idea of a fun-day is great for those interested it's not my kind of thing.

What I would go to are hobby groups, or things like jumble sales. I knit, crochet, and I love reading, so something like a book club or my Nan's old "knit and natter" would be great if you're willing to use the church as more of a community space. I wouldn't like to be pressured in any way to join in a religious capacity, though. I think one of the reasons a "fun-day" doesn't appeal to me is that it sounds unfocused, and that's where I'd worry about such pressures creeping in. A sale, club or hobby group I'd feel a lot more comfortable with, I think, and once I build a connection to a group, venue or community I find I'm far more likely to engage further.

I appreciate the importance of churches not only when it comes to faith but when it comes to community-building and emotional support, so I wouldn't be against going to more church events if I trusted the church and community to feel like a welcoming and non-judgmental space. I think that's the barrier a lot of people have to get past, when it comes to church events, especially the non-religious such as myself.

My OAP mother was attending church regularly but they constantly pressured her for money. Donations for this, donations for that. Asking them to donate a bit more please. She said it felt like pay to pray and eventually stopped going.

I don’t go because i am an atheist. But I do take the children to Christmas Eve christingle because my youngest really likes it, and it feels pressure-free.

That's awful. Some churches can be really pushy about money. We used to get letters from a church near us asking for donations and we didn't even go there!

I'm an atheist but I'd happily go to a free family day type event that was advertised as being for the general community. I'm also quite interested in church architecture and would often like to wander around a church just to look at the stained glass etc, but often feel anxious that I might walk in at the wrong time or they don't want tourist-type nosy people wandering around with a toddler. So some kind of clear welcoming sign would be useful, or open day for architecture/heritage. I've been to loads of kids activities in church halls and just see them as a useful venue.

I often need to pass time with dcs or have our packed lunch outdoors and some churchyards have little playgrounds for the community, a few have nice gardens to walk through with different paths to explore and nature trails. So it's good to have an interesting outdoor area, with seating, for visitors.

threaten everyone with eternal damnation in a pit of firey pain should improve things.