What would make you want to go to a church event (or what makes you not want to go?)

[elliejjtiny]

Either Sunday services, special ones like carol services or social events.

I'm just wondering as our church numbers are dwindling at the moment as a few of the elderly people have died recently, a couple of families have left and nobody new has come for years.

We used to get quite a few people come for our carol service and for the family fun day (barbeque, games and a bouncy castle) but now hardly anyone comes to those things either.

We've got a facebook page which gets lots of views. I'm just wondering if there was anything we could be doing differently. It's a bit depressing when you organise an event and hardly anyone comes.

Atheists are welcome in CofE churches. If you live in that parish you are part of that church’s ‘cure of souls’ - they consider you their community whether you want it or not so why not just go along and enjoy the community events.

FYI, this kind of disrespectful attitude is why people reject the church and its people.

Things my church has done that have good community engagement:

Invite local primary schools/scout and guide groups to look around the building during the week.

Free language classes and conversation practice for people wanting to improve their English.

Drop-in sessions for young people after school where they can just get a hot drink and chat to each other in a safe, dry, warm place for a couple of hours.

Cafe a couple of days a week with clear signage on the street.

Coffee mornings with a free raffle, hot drinks and toast/fruit loaf.

The Bible Course, going through the historical context and meaning of the Bible over several sessions.

Community craft groups with no religious agenda.

Christingle services on Christmas Eve, they are always full to capacity and we get about 800 people through the church across the day.

Community allotment in raised planters in the church car park. People are encouraged to take and use the flowers/herbs/vegetables throughout the summer.

Plant swaps in the church car park.

Kids craft/messy church at summer fairs in local parks. If people aren’t ready to step into a church you need to be outside in the community to meet them.

The main thing is for church members to just accept people as they are, and meet the needs of the community without a conversion agenda.

Events are advertised on local FB/Insta etc. and church members are encouraged to share across the wider community with fliers and links to the church website.

You need to find out what you can offer the community and become a place of welcome and acceptance. In time they might come to Christ, they might not, but the church should be a community hub not empty six days of the week.

Atheists are welcome in CofE churches. If you live in that parish you are part of that church’s ‘cure of souls’ - they consider you their community whether you want it or not so why not just go along and enjoy the community events.

Because I don't want to support the church in any way, and I suspect many atheists feel the same. I don't like or agree with religion and don't want any part in it. There are plenty of non-religious events I can go to instead.

Maybe your local community is trying to tell you they don't need or want these events

I don't mean to sound unkind so please don't take offence. 💐

Events like mum and baby coffee mornings, activities like messy church and ideally no one pouncing on newcomers as soon as they arrive and trying to strong arm them into attending Sunday services . Let people
be curious at their own pace rather than trying to force religion on them.

We get flyers through our door advertising what the local church is up to and we go to the family fun events. I wouldn’t go to the Sunday services as we’re not religious

I'm a Christian. We've attracted visitors with a monthly Saturday morning dad's group, a weekly knit and natter, and an annual quiz with free meal. We've got chatting to people by having stalls at town events and by delivering flyers at Easter and Christmas.

However, the best form of church growth is evangelism. And one of the best forms of evangelism is hospitality. Older folk (unless infirm) are often in a great position to invite round others, even if just for tea and cake - neighbours, friends, acquaintances from activities. We've even had our postman stop in for a cuppa. Hospitality develops good relationships, which enable great gospel conversations. And it's a way we show love to each other and therefore to our Lord.

And the most vital thing is to pray. All be praying not only for the people you long to see saved but for who other church members long to see saved. Even the very infirm can be prayer warriors.

My husband and I have young children. We moved to our town in order to join the church we're at. Just one more family can make a difference and be an encouragement. Since then the church has grown a fair bit. But before we came along, some faithful elderly folk had prayed for new members for years. And when we visited, people invited us to their homes for meals, prayed faithfully for us between our visits, and loved us. As our children arrived, they loved them and didn't mind if they were a bit noisy or disruptive, but counted them as a blessing.

John Benton wrote an excellent book on small churches which I while heartedly recommend. Read it, but mainly be immersed in scripture, pray and pray and pray, and be hospitable.

My DH and kids are religious/believe and will go for special services - Christmas, Easter, etc.

I only go for weddings, christenings and funerals

prayer warriors

Yikes, no thanks.

No answer from the community is an answer.

Do you do lots of events with the local schools? I didn’t go to church as an adult at all until I had a child start primary school. I am not a believer but those services were so full of joy and community, it did encourage me to go at least for the carol service last year. They do ‘fun church’ here as well that makes it really fun for children. People with children love to have somewhere fun to go that keeps the kids and grown ups happy.

I go (despite being a rabid atheist) because I enjoy singing traditional church music in a robed choir.

I don't tend to shout out my atheism there 🤣.
But music is definitely a reason that some attend.

I love what pp has mentioned about things being community events and sounds like you are doing the right things in terms of outreach. Assume not overt proselytising during events?
I am not religious but I do love a good crib service- our local one has two “sittings” and sells out quickly on eventbrite. I did take kids to one abroad and it was very hellfire and brimstone and not about the cherry songs and sneaking raisins/sweets of your Christingle. They have refused to attend again.
i wonder also about having a poster up and visible outside the church? Good luck, I think local churches can be a real benefit to the community. My dad does an over 70s exercise class at their local church which he really enjoys.

Invite the local scout/ brownie groups to help out or run stalls, invite the school to use the church for RE lessons, Nativity plays, Easter services.

See, posts like this just reassure me that I'm doing exactly the right thing in avoiding anything even remotely connected to church.

Also I would contact local council adult social services information and advice. They often curate a local directory of organisations and bodies who run coffee mornings/ social events. You may find that you can really help people who might be lonely. Again I would think of this as community outreach in a broader sense rather than evangelising. We have good friends and relatives who are religious and I am very happy for them- son also goes to a religious school. But my firm line is no preaching. That feels like they assume their life /belief choices are better than mine. Rather than just being different.

They might be primed for a resurgence following a big fat injection of right wing American evangelical cash anyway- haven’t you noticed the influx of young hot vicars and their beautiful families on TikTok?

Can't believe nobody's suggested breaking out the Junior Praise songbook! 80s/90s nostalgia 😃

Perhaps look at what is missing in your area or what would be beneficial to the community. Lots of libraries, youth clubs and pubs are closing. Is there something the church could provide that would help fill the gap?
If it makes your church visible, it may encourage people to get involved. No guarantees of course.

Events and clubs don’t have to be expensive to run, especially if you have parishioners with expertise in these areas.
How about;
Drop in-tech sessions for those who struggle with phones, iPads and laptops.
Language lessons (even better if serving wine from that country!)
Games nights. Lots of my adult children’s friends are into board games and dungeons and dragons.
Wine or beer tasting ( not sure about licensing laws on this one).
Story time for toddlers.
Choirs ( not just hymns though)

Nothing would induce me to attend a church event, sorry. Owing to the church/religious nature I’m afraid. So many people now see religion for what it is man-made and divisive. That is affecting all aspects of attendance, even the benign, well meaning work which I am sure you represent op.

I'm afraid I agree with this op.

Pretty sure Scouts are secular now. Happy to be corrected - just thinking out loud

I've watched from a distance as our local CofE parish (two churches) has been transformed by the new (ish) vicar. Mum and baby group, breakfast cafe on Saturdays, quiz nights, carol services, they run the food bank, teen drop in, after school club once a week for younger ones, memory cafe for those with dementia, grief group, mental health support sessions, two different services on a Sunday, one more modern, one traditional, with a kids session. As these supportive community events have grown, so have their members on a sunday. I would say it's taken a good 3-4 years to get to this point. A once a year fun day doesn't support people who are struggling in their daily lives to get out of the house and meet others in similar situations.

Also as far as I know there is no religious content to any of these events apart from if you choose to attend on a Sunday.

I wouldn’t go to a church service, because I don’t have faith. But I do regularly go to church toddler groups and a feee exercise class. I make decent donations for both of these, because I recognise the value they bring to me, and to those who couldn’t pay for them.

A friend who is a vicar (different church) talks beautifully about how her faith means the church doing good in the community, whether or not that community shares her beliefs. I think it’s an amazing thing that people like her are in her communities, whatever their faith.

Proselytising, or patronising and smug people like How Do You Solve, above, would stop me engaging.

@Nonotformescouts still pledge allegiance to God and the King - but op was talking about fun days anyway rather than church services

Reading the thread it seems like people will come if they are getting something for free. It used to be the other way round. I remember my lovely Grandfather who had very little putting 20% of his pension on the collection plate every week. He screwed up the money so no one could see what he was giving. He went without to give. It makes me so sad now.

What would get me in the door would be a return to the beautiful music and serenity I remember from my youth. Whenever I go now someone gets a guitar out, lots of children mill about crying, and there is a general air of noise, stress and chaos. No thanks.