Herpes tips please

[scabbyfanny]

No judgement please but I'm currently suffering from my first attack of genital herpes and in absolute agony.
6 days in and I started anti virals yesterday,I have some numbing cream and I'm smothering my poor battered vagina in vaseline in an attempt to barrier my wee from the skin ,I've tried peeing in the bath but even thats agony!

I do have GUM appointment on monday but would really appreciate any tips on how I can get through the next few days ...
TIA

This is my first suspected outbreak at almost 50 and im devastated. Im at the GUM clinic later today.
I've also had that aching dragging pain in my genitals especially when im standing or walking. its very similar to the pain and discomfort I was in after childbirth after having stitches down below.
Can I ask how long have you suffered and how regularly do you have outbreaks?
Has it had a major impact on your sex life? im devastated and worried my sex life will now be over. im in quite a new relationship of only 7 months, im suspecting ive caught it from him. If our relationship comes to an end I feel I could never move on with someone new now that I have this.
I have never been promiscuous and he is only my 3rd sexual partner. I can't believe ive been unlucky enough to catch this. The stigma and embarrassment is awful, ive had to lie to family about where im going tomorrow as there's no way I can tell anyone im going to an STD clinic and that ive got this.

Sorry ,only just seen your post. Fine now (thankfully). Got an official diagnosis from the gum clinic of HSV1 and the likelihood is I got it from his cold sore . It was 8 days before I could have a wee without my eyes watering but the clinic did give me some numbing cream which helped. Please dont feel ashamed 😔 The majority of the adult population are having sex and if 80 % of those would test positive for the virus then there are an awful lot of us walking around with herpes even if they dont have symptoms .

@helpiminpainAlso wanted to say please try not to blame your partner, the viral load can shed before the cold sore symptoms are obvious. How are you feeling in yourself? As well as the obvious pain and soreness,I had a temp and felt quite unwell (slept for 18 hours one day) I'd say it probably took 10 days before I felt normal again and both of us are now taking daily lysine which is supposed to minimise further outbreaks .

Thank you for replying op and im glad you're ok now, have you had further outbreaks?
I went to the clinic yesterday and as suspected it is herpes. im just waiting for the swab tests to come back to confirm which strain. Apparently with HSV1 you are less likely to have recurrences than with HSV2.
Nurse did try to reassure me about how common this is.
I also took the opportunity while there to have a full sexual health screening so hopefully everything else comes back all clear.
Im not blaming or being hard on dp, we weren't aware of the asymptomatic shedding and as far as we were aware we were being careful and only thought it was risky during flare ups so its not his fault. you live and learn as they say!
Im on aciclovir now and hope this clears up asap the pain is awful and i felt a strange feeling that I needed to poo all day yesterday but when going to the toilet I wouldn't poo even though the feeling of needing to was there. I found that quite strange and uncomfortable and am assuming it is something to do with the discomfort and achey pressure pain im feeling down below. hope this passes asap.
im considering buying some more aciclovir tablets to have in just incase I do have a future outbreak.

@helpiminpainMy first outbreak was only 3 or 4 weeks ago so no second outbreak as yet! I had to take 2 x 5 day courses of aciclover but the clinic did give me three lots so I still have one in reserve should I ever suspect a second outbreak. I was also told that I'm far less likely to get as many repeat outbreaks with HSV1 and they are usually a lot milder if you do get one. I feel your pain -I was so sore but the numbing cream did help .Did the clinic give you any ? I actually felt so rough that I went off work sick (told them I had shingles) Hope you start to feel better soon as it really is horrible.

@scabbyfanny fingers crossed you stay symptom free from now on.
I wasn't given or offered any numbing cream or any extra aciclovir but I do have a follow up appointment for next week so maybe I could ask for some then. She said if my symptoms clear by next week then to cancel the follow up appointment if I wish.
I've not felt great today and barely moved from my couch tbh. I tried taking a look down below today but couldn't as it was just too painful to part my labia to look.
im no longer finding urinating painful as ive been drinking lots of water to dilute it but urinating feels difficult as its feels as though my urethra is blocked im often having to force my wee out which makes it uncomfortable.
It's awful being in all this discomfort but trying to pretend to everyone that you're completely ok. its not as if I can tell anyone.
I've told my ds ive got piles! as thats another joy I suffer with occasionally but one i can admit to. hope i dont ever get the 2 together lol.

@helpiminpainoh bless you...you can buy the numbing cream online but its bloody expensive for a tiny tube ..Glad its not still stinging when you have a wee - it was a good 7 days before I could go without my eyes watering (also had a uti which didn't help) Please be kind to yourself- I had 5 days where I felt really rough and spent most of the time on the sofa or in bed but once I started to feel better the recovery was rapid. I took the two courses of anti virals back to back (as advised) because I'd had no improvement after the first lot !

To be honest I had no idea a) how common herpes is b) how easily it is to get from a cold sore and c) how bloody awful it is .

@helpiminpain if you’re unable to pass urine, you’ll need to go to the hospital and have a catheter fitted. It’s quite common with a first outbreak, but is also a medical emergency.

@bushproblems Hi, yes I have read it can happen. hopefully it wont result in that. I am managing to fully empty my bladder but it takes some time as its a very slow trickle unless I force it. If it does get worse then il defo take myself off to A&E.

Hi, sexual health worker here!! We get approx 200 calls a day. Half of these calls will be about genital herpes. I cannot stress enough to Devasted patients that this and chlamydia are the most common STI’s although herpes is a skin on skin transmission condition. I have a loved one who has it and sadly it’s changed her. She now suffers anxiety so badly but has a lovely, caring and understanding partner. The thing that pisses me off the most is the ridiculous stigma!! No one blinks an eye if someone has a cold sore on their mouth! It’s because it’s on the genitals people are so weird about it! I’ve had many a patient cry on my shoulder, just because of the stigma, but they ALL go on to have relationships, marriage and babies!! The sad thing is you can have a full STI screening but it won’t pick up herpes unless you are having an active outbreak which we swab. Many private companies claim to do blood tests but these blood tests show positive if all you’ve had is a cold sore on your mouth! Due to it detecting the virus antibodies in the blood. It makes me so sad that this virus which also includes chicken pox and shingles and plain old cold sores (all herpes simplex) are treated with such stigma. It’s time we left this attitude behind for good. Please try and be positive about your life. I think if potential partners don’t want to know you then you’ve had a lucky escape! Wishing you all the best. If you start to suffer regular outbreaks there are very effective antivirals you can obtain from sexual health clinics or can even buy at an online chemist if you’re concerned about privacy. I just wished people knew just how common HSV is x

Take lysine and alcyclivor daily.

Thanks for this post. Im currently suffering from my first ever outbreak at almost 50 years old. my results came back yesterday as HSV2 which made me feel more devastated as im sure ive read HSV 2 is the strain where im likely to have more recurring outbreaks, is this true?
I've now finished the antiviral tablet aciclovir that I was given at the clinic and the sores seemed to have cleared but im still in constant pain and discomfort with an aching dragging sensation down below.
I am able to urinate now with no discomfort but i feel im having trouble with discomfort pooing and im having spasms in my anus. Is this normal? I cannot talk to anyone in RL about this due to the stigma just like you said.

Bless your heart, I mean this sincerely. The truth is, everyone reacts uniquely to them. What one may find mild and hardly ever have outbreaks, others are in excruciating pain and suffer regular outbreaks. It can cause nerve pain, especially if an outbreak is on the way, lower back pain or sciatica feel in the leg. These are known as prodomes. These signal that an outbreak could be on the way. My loved one often gets a sciatic pain in her leg. If regular outbreaks start, please look into anti-viral medication. These are proven to be successful. But please keep an eye on your bowels. I don’t want to worry you but if you struggle to open your bowels you should contact your GP or local sexual health clinic. You may need something for constipation but if the HSV is on your anus, which often it is, this explains the difficulty so please keep an eye on that. As HSV travels down a nerve path this could very well explain the anus spasms but please mention this to your GP. If a person has sciatica and cannot open their bowels they take this seriously so please do not be embarrassed to mention this. An overhaul of lifestyle helps too. Plenty of vitamin B’s, zinc and Lysine has proven to help reduce outbreaks. Caffeine is known to trigger outbreaks too. Herpes.org sells an amazing Melissa balm (a lemon type Vaseline) which is great for soothing an outbreak and also can stop an outbreak appearing altogether, this is my loved one’s experience with the Melissa balm. Herpes.org is a fantastic organisation and most of the phone operators have HSV themselves so they know exactly how you’re feeling. It will get better I promise!! As I’ve said before, HSV is so so common and we receive more calls about HSV and chlamydia than anything else. I’ve been quite flabbergasted and angry with the misinformation on some of these herpes posts. This condition has been blown up into something massive. We talk to HIV infected people daily and even they don’t seem half as upset as HSV sufferers are due to this ridiculous stigma! It’s baffling to us as it is a cold sore on the genitals! I fully appreciate how painful, uncomfortable and inconvenient HSV is but it really shouldn’t be this so called life sentence how many ill educated people are talking about it!! When my loved one told her partner it really wasn’t a big deal at all!! I find the disgust from people so ignorant and unkind. HSV can and does affect anyone. Please be kind to yourself, it’s so so common. I really wish this was spoken about in schools to take away the stigma of HSV from a young age so we bring up more understanding children who will grow up into educated and understanding adults. Also while I remember, seasonal changes affect HSV as our circadian rhythms change with the seasons. As it turns to spring and summer to autumn the patients really do arrive thick and fast!! Sending love to you and sod the ignorant! X

Also, the first outbreak is ALWAYS the worst! Did you suffer flu like symptoms too? This is also very common. If you have subsequent outbreaks they will never be as painful as this one. When my person has an outbreak it’s just a bit irritated and annoying!! She was so depressed for a long time which broke my heart but she’s learning to be ok with it and looking forward to having babies soon.
You can press ice packs wrapped in a clean towel onto your affected area for 5-10 minutes. Epsom salts baths are soothing too. Xxx

I had it a couple of years ago, my husband gets cold sores and I think I thought I was immune so let him carry on!😀 I could not believe how ill I felt, it was like flu but worse and the sores were awful, touch wood ive not had a flare up but the GP said most people are exposed to it at one time or another I guess its how your immune system deals with it.

@Dreamingisfree28 Thank you for all the useful info in your post.
I can't say I had any flu like symptoms before my outbreak. my vulva just felt sore and i actually thought I was starting with cystitis.
I only had 3 blisters which were just below my clitoris. None in my anal area even though im having pains there. Its is very much like a shooting sciatica type pain like as you described. Pain killers numb it slightly for a couple of hours then its back again.
The misinformation you mention is purely down to the taboo nature of it, nobody talks about it so very little is known about it. If there wasn't the stigma and it could be freely spoken about then I do believe people would be more clued up and informed and I actually think there'd be less cases. I'd never heard of asymptomatic shedding. my partner suffers cold sores but only thought he could pass them to me during an outbreak. you live and learn!