What automatically makes you think somebody is NOT an idiot?

[estrogone]

Not a TAAT, but having just read the thread about “what makes you immediately think somebody is an idiot?”. I took a beat and tried to turn it around.

It’s much harder to think about what makes you see someone as the opposite of an idiot.

It’s so easy to write someone off based on one dissenting view — politics, vaccination, ideology. I actually had to stop and think about what makes me perceive someone as intelligent or thoughtful, and realised that isn’t my default.

Made me wonder whether we’re hard wired to default to negative assumptions about people, or whether that’s just me.

What makes you assume somebody is NOT an idiot?

Common sense and manners.

ETA... I'm not meaning fine etiquette, more the please/thank you, waiting their turn, not butting in, not dropping rubbish type of manners.

The mirror.

Boom boom.

I know, I'm a twat and an idiot.

I don't think anyone is an idiot until they prove me wrong.

A well-placed joke.

Absorbing and and comprehending (new) information.

I often deal with people that believe themselves to be extremely smart, cunning etc. They tend to be overly confident in areas outside their expertise.
A lack of confidence (especially in areas one is moderately familiar with) therefore reads as „NOT an idiot“ to me.

Being willing (and able!!) to act according to professional advice even when that advice may initially seem counterintuitive.

Restraint in challenging circumstances.

I’ve worked in care for years and the staff who are kind and respectful to the people we support are generally come across as more intelligent.

So for me it’s that.

People who are rude and abrupt strike me as lacking in compassion and common sense.

It’s an interesting question - what makes you think someone is the opposite of an idiot.
I don’t start from the premise that most people are idiots, as, in my experience, most people aren’t, but thinking about what makes me notice someone it’s when they observe a situation and people’s behaviour within it and offer an astute observation or insight into what’s happening / why people are behaving a certain way. I’m always impressed by people who observe and also can see the different points of view in a scenario. So, people who pay attention to other people and have empathy, I think.

Referring to sex instead of gender & not stating preferred pronouns is a good start.

Someone who owns their mistakes, learns from them and does things differently the next time.

Someone who does not always blame other people/the world around them for everything that goes wrong in their life. None of us are perfect and there is strength in moving on and learning from this.

When someone is able to strike the fine balance between being supportive but not condescending.

Someone who thinks for a bit before they speak, and can appreciate more than one point of view when expressing an opinion.
Also, knowing that Pacific is an ocean.

Agreed - but not an offensive or rude joke. I find people who need to be offensive tend to be idiots!

When their first split-second instinct is to move towards an emergency.

When they have several wide ranging hobbies that they don’t particularly talk about in company unless asked.

When they can comfortably and competently care for babies or children of any age or any character on a moments notice. Eg if I landed newborn twins and a toddler on them they’d never met they’d be absolutely fine caring for them solo, competent, know all the basics, step up and adapt.

Someone who is not afraid to change their mind. I think it means they are willing to listen, have their beliefs challenged and do their own research.

Someone who uses the word ‘discrete’ correctly.

I hear you.

I still see people, and hear people automatically trust someone!

Why on earth do that?

Give it a few months.

And as for trusting someone on the internet right away. Well the mind boggles.

A poster can write, I am 41, have two children and a dog.
My partner works as a postman.
And bingo, everyone believes it!

When they are interested in learning from other people, when they DON’T dismiss others as idiots, and when they interrogate their own assumptions/beliefs.

Learning is life long. If you don’t regret something you said or did 5 years ago, then you haven’t learned a thing in 5 years.

No wonder scammers have an absolute field day.

Someone who asks questions. If a person pays attention to what is going on or listens to what someone is saying, then makes a question that is pertinent, and then listens to the answer... this person is the opposite of an idiot and I will always value them.

It’s something about the abrupt switch in register. You need a certain degree of smartness to judge a move from serious into humour. It’s the kind of confidence that comes from being in command of what you’re talking about.

It needn’t be a joke, even – a seamless move from smalltalk into business, or in a conversation from one sphere into another, is a signal that you’re talking to a serious person.

Eh? I am a long standing MNetter c2001.

I massively struggle with 'thick' people who talk a lot. This is my personal issue not a reflection on them. I just can't deal with it!

'Idiots' though, I'd say when you are having a seemingly intelligent conversation which suddenly descends into conspiracy theory with utter conviction, but equally i think some other idiots are too trusting in government agenda and unable see that scientific 'fact' can and does change, as documented across history. I think 2020 demonstrated both sides of this well!

Someone with a keen sense of irony.

Someone who agrees with me 😁

While it's by no means a universal truth, I tend to find that people who listen more than they talk tend to not be idiots.