What automatically makes you think somebody is NOT an idiot?

[estrogone]

Not a TAAT, but having just read the thread about “what makes you immediately think somebody is an idiot?”. I took a beat and tried to turn it around.

It’s much harder to think about what makes you see someone as the opposite of an idiot.

It’s so easy to write someone off based on one dissenting view — politics, vaccination, ideology. I actually had to stop and think about what makes me perceive someone as intelligent or thoughtful, and realised that isn’t my default.

Made me wonder whether we’re hard wired to default to negative assumptions about people, or whether that’s just me.

What makes you assume somebody is NOT an idiot?

yes, people who listen! rather than just waiting for their turn to talk.

Obviously they can talk as well, good listener doesn't have to mean shy or quiet, but people who actually engage in a conversation, ask relevant questions or provide a related anecdote. Compared to two radios both set to transmit, monologuing at each other.

as the saying goes 'better to stay silent and be thought an idiot, than open your mouth and remove all doubt!'

Also people who are able to understand the opposite point of view to them on any different topic, even if they don't agree with it.

Curiosity

agree, that's experience rather than intelligence!

I can vaguely see what the pp means in that intelligent people should be able to adapt to/cope with most situations in a 'good enough' way even without prior experience.

e.g. you could say 'not an idiot' is someone who exhibits basic common sense, so that you wouldn't be scared to leave children with them in an emergency situation, as even if they didn't have kids themselves they would understand what they needed to prioritise - i.e. even if they weren't 100% sure what young children can/can't eat they are aware they can't eat the same as adults, and have the ability to find out the relevant information and adapt accordingly.

Rather than someone who has their own kids but keeps yours in a dirty wet outfit all day because they don't have the right size clothes for them (I literally saw a post on here once asking what to do because her dd was 2 years old but small for her age so still fit her 18 month clothes, but should she put her in the 'right' age clothes anyway?) or leaves them go hungry because 'I asked them what they wanted to eat and they said pizza but I didn't have any.'

A comment about checking sources or acknowledging people can have differing opinions for various valid reasons

Checking sources is a good one.

Im def not an idiot but on my word, I cannot retain information AT ALL! Well, i can if I read it, if someone is telling me something it doesn’t even nearly go in!

Appropriate locus of control. I watch some tv motorway thing in NZ when I am getting ready for work and the people on there who speed or who are drunk and can't see it's their fault. Drunk bloke who has argued with his girlfriend and then got in the car, to him it's her fault - how odd.

People who can see that two things can be true and are not totally black and white thinkers. Which you see on here - I can't understand how anyone would do that - can you not really, even if you think really hard? People who can disagree with someone else's point of view respectfully and who don't have to "win" every conversation.

Humility.
Someone with the grace to try to make other people comfortable in a conversation rather than showing off their own prowess.

Steel-manning.
Someone who will present the best possible form of the argument they disagree with.

we all process differently…
I wouldn’t consider myself an idiot either but I struggle with fairly simple additions (division, multiplication etc.? fine for some reason) and my spacial thinking is mediocre at best.

I am absolutely not saying that this makes you an idiot.
I am simply saying that someone absorbing and understanding new information would have me think „NOT an idiot“ (well, probably).

Not sure it isn't an idiot question.

Ultimately if you are to do something "automatically" that means you are doing it with reference to very little, and often superficial information, generalising from previous experience and using the fact that previous people with similar characteristics didn't turn out to be idiots.

Job title would be the one piece of information I would probably want to use the most as an "automatic" discriminator, although that would only give an initial indication/probability of whether they were likely to be or not to be an idiot.

Reasoned opinions, having knowledge of the world and other cultures, having general knowledge of history and literature, non judgmental, open minded, not patronising people, the ability to understand and consider all sides of an argument, empathy and emotional intelligence. And curiousity! Being well read helps with all of these things.

A certain economy of language. I agree with PP about listening more than talking.

Not always, but generally if somebody has good relationships with their family, partners family, and a good group of friends.

It’s a sign they are living a good life and are well liked, which takes a certain degree of common sense and general good life skills to achieve.

An understanding of complexity and nuance

People who listen more.