What automatically makes you think somebody is NOT an idiot?

[estrogone]

Not a TAAT, but having just read the thread about “what makes you immediately think somebody is an idiot?”. I took a beat and tried to turn it around.

It’s much harder to think about what makes you see someone as the opposite of an idiot.

It’s so easy to write someone off based on one dissenting view — politics, vaccination, ideology. I actually had to stop and think about what makes me perceive someone as intelligent or thoughtful, and realised that isn’t my default.

Made me wonder whether we’re hard wired to default to negative assumptions about people, or whether that’s just me.

What makes you assume somebody is NOT an idiot?

For me, this is someone:

• who can listen, and talks when they have something meaningful to say
• who responds to, or builds on, what someone else has said rather than simply taking a turn
• who is aware of what’s happening in the wider world
• who is curious.

People who can disagree with you but it doesn't have to be a fight.

The way you can judge if someone is an "idiot" (which admittedly is quite a broad brush blanket subjective insult and I unclear exactly what it includes in your view), is their actions and words.

You may think they are an idiot and they confirm that because everything that comes out of their mouth is ridiculous . Ranting, unable to listen to other people's views without coming out with a diatribe, is one type of idiocy. But there are other types, such as decisions they take, the way they drive through red lights or think that because they pay their vehicle license that must mean they own the road and pedestrians aren't important (as I read on a thread this week). Or go away on holiday and come back with a tattoo they've had done on the beach which gives them an infection and they burden the NHS due to their daft decision.

the converse is somebody who doesn't do these things, acts rationally and in a measured way, doesn't break the law, doesnt walk down the street with their face glued to their mobile and nearly causing an accident.

Being a good judge of character is a skill built through life, there are no set rules,you take a balanced view of how someone acts and speaks, their views in life and decide for yourself. Your definition of being a idiot is subjective and may not be the same as other people's.

When I tell a woman that I like her dress, and she says ‘it’s got pockets!’

I think there is a difference between perceiving someone as intelligent and assuming someone isn't an idiot. I can honestly say I assume nobody is an idiot until they prove otherwise.
There are lots of different things that make me think of someone as intelligent as there are lots of different ways of being intelligent. Sometimes it's their social skills, other times it's the way they tackle something at work. I suppose it's when I see people doing things that I'm not good at!

When they seem to be able to think for themself, not just follow the latest pronouncement of acceptable views and parrot the latest talking points. When they are able to think more rationally than “everyone who voted for Brexit is an idiot”.

Yes, I know that she and I will get on! 😁

But by @SheSpeaks ' metric of being able to look after a baby or toddler, I'm afraid I'm an idiot... I wouldn't have the first clue... I could probably figure out what any animal wants/needs, but the tinies are an enigma to me... 😬

Um, I'd probably add authenticity and consideration for others to the list.

If I hear someone use the word ‘compromise’ or talk about meeting in the middle. If something happens and they don’t have a knee jerk or irritable reaction. If they’re knowledgeable but imparting the knowledge in a non showy offy way!

When they use reasonable words and sentences, grammar and spelling, etc., instead of that awful, common and brainless ''r u'' etc., instead of ''are you''

I was job interviewing years ago, and an applicant had nothing but horrendous spelling and grammar, not because he was dyslexic, but because he was just lazy and brainless. He used no capital letters, full stops or anything! I shredded his application; he didn't get anywhere near an interview!

People who appreciate silence

This thread (and the other) are about moral relativism aren't they?
Different people have different sets of moral values so for eg what would be seen to be a frothing gammon through one set of eyes would be a hero fighting for traditional values through another.

So the characteristics you feel to be idiotic say more about your own values than those of others. Some of the complaints are more about intelligence or class than moral idiocy which is rather unbecoming as people don't make choices about these.

I would imagine people I don't find to be idiots would mirror my beliefs and values as clearly I don't think I'm an idiot, though many people with different values would beg to differ!

That said I think we can all stand behind the woman with pockets in her dress 😁 And I stand by my comments on the other thread as they are reflective of my moral values!

Asking questions.

Treating others with respect

Showing an awareness of others

Yes I think we are hardwired to detect threat before anything else

Nah, everyone agrees on a twat (lighthearted)

It’s extremely disconcerting on the rare occasions when your radar lets you down. Like when I meet someone who displays all the signals of intelligence, but it slowly dawns that I am, in fact, talking to an idiot.

Posh fools are the most obvious example. But I also remember having a long—and apparently nuanced and rewarding—conversation with somebody about certain shady situations requiring a discriminating eye, the necessity of careful judging by looking for signals, the rationality of going by stereotypes at first, but keeping an open mind, etc. This hit all my markers for intelligence, only for their argument-winning kiss-off to be “well it just goes to show you shouldn’t have discriminated then, doesn’t it?!” It was as if the rest of the conversation hadn’t happened at all!

I say ‘talking to an idiot’ but really I don’t know where I am with such people. It’s as if they are off-the-charts skilled at looking like they’re conversing, but there’s nothing going on below the surface except maybe getting what they want out of you. That isn’t idiocy, but it is rather chilling.

When they can comfortably and competently care for babies or children of any age or any character on a moments notice. Eg if I landed newborn twins and a toddler on them they’d never met they’d be absolutely fine caring for them solo, competent, know all the basics, step up and adapt.

That makes absolutely no sense. You're not an 'idiot' if you don't have children, haven't ever been around babies or toddlers, and would have no idea how to care for newborn twins and a toddler. How would you expect this person, however clever, to know the 'basics' of newborn care, feeding etc, far less be able to care for newborn twins and a toddler solo?

People who confidently express considered beliefs.

And people who express complete certainty on extremely complicated questions as if there isn’t even another side to the story – I always recoil as if those are the stupidest people of all.

Yes, that is certainly a personality trait that is worrying.

Yes, adapting quickly and graciously to the unexpected is a huge plus in my book.

My mum is a very tricky character, and a few individuals - my BIL, a cousin, and our local MP - all handle her with kindness, but also don't get suckered in. They're nice to her, but also don't act beholden to her desire to latch onto and monopolise them.

I've seen people being rude to her (not undeservedly, as her behaviour and manners can be rude in itself), or get stuck with her.

It takes a rare grace to manage her well. I'm not always good at it myself.

I think no matter how not an idiot someone is, they will always say something that you think makes them look a bit silly or just not knowledgeable about something. I always assume most people even if they've got a PhD from Oxbridge, are about 10% idiot! Everyone is ignorant or wrong about something?

I guess not minding not knowing things, asking questions, accepting your limits while being inquisitive, seeing beauty in things, being a good listener who can tell a good story. Those things make you seem less of an idiot.

Someone who is flexible in their thinking and can be comfortable with the idea that they might be wrong is the ultimate sign of intelligence as far as I’m concerned.

My FIL is incredibly accomplished and a leader in his field but even in his 70s he will listen intently and adjust his view if someone brings new, better information to him.

I must admit this one has me a bit discombombulated. I have read all the responses and agree with most.

I realise that my default is negative when I make a judgement. Even though I am not quick to judge, I can see the negative pervading and that's a worry.

Anyone who reads. Don't mind what they read or if it's something I wouldn't. The act of reading is a positive one in almost anyone