What is this giant flea bug??

[Parsleyforme]

I thought it was a sick woodlouse but it’s shiny, half its legs are on backwards and shaped like a prawn. My iPhone says a cockroach but I don’t think so??
I also found a random half of a bee earlier. I haven’t even been outside today! God knows what I’ll find next 🪳. Feeling itchy

A landhopper?

That looks like a lawn shrimp. Or land hopper.

They’re a terrestrial crustacean.

Oh wow, a lawn shrimp!! I’ve never heard of (or seen) such a thing! It is very prawny to be fair. Just glad it’s not a giant flea 😳