Boys/girls, or either what has your experience been?

[23weeksand2days]

Sorry, I really couldn’t come up with a better title right now.
What I’d like to know is what you’re expperience has been with having girls/boys, or either gender really. How are girls different to boys in your experience?
Is having one easier than the other?
Are there any big differences?
It’s just that I’m a first time mum to be, and up until my 20 week scan I was so sure that we’d be having a girl.
It’s how I’d always imagined things even before getting pregnant, so when I found out we were having a boy I was really quite shocked, unreasonably I know, but I know I’m not the first or last parent to have felt this way.
The initial shock and disappointment lasted about three days and then thankfully wore off, but I still hope that I can have a girl one day too.
If I’m fortunate enough to be blessed with another child I’ll obviously love it no matter the gender, the same way that I love this little one, but I just think having a little girl some day would be lovely too.

I have one of each. Both are great and their differences are mostly down to their personalities rather then their sex. DS happens to be more sensitive and attentive than DD. He's nearly 18 now, but even now he will just know when something is bothering me and comes up and gives me a big bear hug. Whereas DD wouldn't notice if I had a leg hanging off 😂

DD is great company though and fun to be around. She's me go to for shopping, watching stranger things and going to musicals.

Women want to have girls because they want a mini-me. I have two boys and they are gorgeous (13 and 9), we do loads of stuff together.

We have a large selection from age 2 up to 16 and tbh don't notice much difference, everyone gets on with there siblings they bounce off each other quite well but saying that me and hubby are pretty chilled out people aswell so they've been brought up around communication, good fun etc

Quite. A quiet little princess that mummy can be BFF's with and go and get her hair done with 🤢

I have 3 dc op. It's been a chaotic, crazy, mainly joyful whirlwind of playdates, football, karate, dance, skating, A&E visits, exams, childcare niggles, laughter, stress, worry and joy.

They're now 18, 15 and 8. I can't really see how my life would be that different if they were a different sex tbph.

Thanks for sharing ❤️ it’s lovely to read your responses. I wish you and your families all the best.

I envisaged having a girl when I was pregnant - I think maybe as I was the eldest and my brother is a lot younger so I have many memories of me and my mum in my earlier years?
However I had a DS who is wonderful - so cuddly and affectionate - but also needs to be walked daily, climbs everything and brings home pockets full of stones and other "treasures".
I'm 39w pregnant with DC2, a girl, & it will be interesting to see the difference. Everyone is warning me about the teenage years with girls though

Also have one of each, plus many nephews and nieces. I'd say whilst there are some gender stereotypes so much more is down to individual personalities. In our families there have always been a wide variety of toys and games aimed at either gender and having a mix of genders around helped keep play balanced which was nice. Some are grown now. We have male and female builders and electricians, a boy who may end up in fashion, a girl who wants to be a mechanic. Everyone loves rugby!

Would say the only stereotype which seems to fit across the board is that the girls are nearly all chatty, almost all the time, whereas the boys are more considered /chat comes out at specific times (like when their hands are busy with something).

They are just children. Most of the differences between sexes come from social structures. Little girls love pink and playing, little boys are rough and tumble and all that jazz is just nonsense. Go to a single sex girl's primary school and you'll see plenty of rough and tumble! Similarly many little toddler and preschool boys love a twirly princess dress given half the chance.

The main difference as a baby is that when your daughter does a wee on the changing mat it puddles under her and you don't realise until you think you are done, pick her up and find she's soaking all up in her back. When your son does a wee on the changing mat he gets it in his own face, in your face, off the edge of the changing mat and on to the carpet......

I have both, each of them lovely, each of them unique.

I have two boys (4 & 2) and they love chasing each other and wrestling. I’m pregnant with child 3 so it would be interesting to see if it’s a girl if they are much different.

On an individual level there can be much crossover and their personalities matter the most. So I do agree with that point. However as groups there are differences. Boys, for example, have a spike in testosterone when they’re still babies and some studies show these have effects such as increase in physical play etc. I just wanted to mention that before people tell you off that there’s no difference between girls and boys as groups.

I have 4 sons and 1 daughter, she is my youngest. Her personality is very different from the others, she screams, she whines, she's impatient and she is stubborn as a mule. She is also hilarious, loving and very kind.

By comparison my son's are easy going, happy to go with flow and don't leave me exhausted and exasperated by 8.19am 🤣

My conclusion, it's the personality not the sex of your child that determines your parenting experience.

I have one of each

Honestly, I do find my daughter a lot easier than my son in many ways. Ds is very, very boisterous - lots of energy, lots of ideas, always on the go, always ‘MUMMY … MUMMY … MUMMY’ - makes a huge mess when eating, playing, anything …

DD is much calmer and steadier somehow. But she is very clingy and has a timidity around trying new things ds doesn’t have.

They are both very stubborn!

They are both lovely ☺️

I’m think that’s right for some women. I never wanted girls but would have been happy with either. We have two boys and it’s the best. I didn’t want tantrums, overly girlie things, teenage drama etc. my boys are loving, fun and very sporty. I’d rather be watching football than having a tea party. There is no big emotions and we are very close to our boys. I never understood gender disappointment. I wouldn’t change my boys for anything.

These threads often do end up being faintly (or even not so faintly) disparaging about girls and certainly about ‘girly things.’ Is the fact my two year old worships Elsa so much worse than my five year old loving lightning McQueen?

I have one of each and I always thought I would find having a girl easier but it turns out I also love having a boy.

Mine are chalk and cheese but each is/has been easier and harder in different ways. Both my children very much fit the stereotypical gender types so my boy was so cuddly, and adored his mummy in a way I didn't quite get with my independent girl. But each one is just such a great person in their own right. They're now mid teens and I have the best time with them.

The problem with parents who only have one of each saying “these are the differences” is that they don’t know what are sex differences and what are personalities. I have 3 boys and they’re all so different - I couldn’t say this is a boy thing or that’s a boy thing. There’s always so much stereotyping nonsense on these threads.

I always wanted to have a boy. As soon as I peed on the stick I had a feeling it was a girl. My reaction “oh, shit , it’s a girl!”.

There’s nothing wrong with having differing opinions, we all see things from our own perspectives and as long as we’re being kind and respectful then I don’t think anyone’s opinion is nonsence ☺️

The pp made an excellent, factual point. If you have one boy and one girl, you have NO IDEA whether the differences im them are due to sex or personality. There is no way to know.

So yes, posters claiming 'girls are x' and 'boys are x' simply because of the differences they've noticed in their own two children ARE talking nonsense.

Yes, that was what I said in my post.

And if someone said that about their boy baby they’d be annihilated. Funny how it’s OK when it’s the other way around, isn’t it?

I think anyone who thinks ‘oh, shit’ when they have a healthy baby is perhaps someone I would not want to be friends with. I understand a preference and I definitely ‘get’ a sadness for the son/daughter you’ll never have, but ‘oh, shit’? Really?

I have two boys early 20’s now and am quite happy with that. But IMO, of those I know who have both genders of a similar age, they find as their children have become young adults they have far more in common with their daughters. They go shopping, for drinks, visit relatives, go on holiday etc and generally spend more leisure time with them than their sons. I’m sure many sons would love to do these things and indeed do, but it’s not my experience nor those of my friends and family. My boys are great, but they would much rather play golf and go to the football. And I wouldn’t.

I didn’t think I’d know what to do with a girl (my own issues there for various reasons, but mostly due to my own upbringing).She is a girl , I love her to bits and she’s a pretty awesome kid so it worked out a lot better than I thought.

I have 2 girls and a boy. My DS was/ is a stereotypical boy and was always up the highest tree or trying to wrestle with his sisters who were not at all interested. We had a family get together this Christmas and my brother reminded DS that whenever we visited them he would charge through the door announcing he was there to' do fightings' as they have 4 boys, one who was born same week as him, and even in their 20's they will have a wrestle every time they see each other( usually at family weddings which can be awkward for those who don't know them 😂) However, he is also gentle and kind and has never ever even raised his voice to me. My 2 girls ( both now diagnosed with ADHD) were relatively easy at present school/ primary age ( other than ADHD meltdowns at home) but their teen years once those hormones kicked in, were incredibly challenging. The oldest was very confrontational and the youngest very withdrawn and it was not until they both left home/ became young adults that I really stayed to consistently enjoy time with them again. Personally, whilst I fully agree there are massive differences and variations between any group of boys ( same for girls) I also think it is wrong to say there are no general differences between the 2 sexes. My boss said to me last week that all her friends have girls and she dreads going out with them as the girls will mostly sit and colour/ read/ chat whilst her boys will not stay put and want to be constantly active . There are 13 children( now all young adults) in our family group and that is pretty much the experience we have seen.

Quite. A quiet little princess that mummy can be BFF's with and go and get her hair done with 🤢
I have 3 girls and have never been like that with them.

It is possible to observe what children other than your own are like, unless you live in a complete bubble. You're connect makes it sound as if it experiences can only be based on what our own children behave like. It would be interesting to hear from some school teachers who are dealing with multiple groups of children on a daily basis.